New job opportunity whilst planning for a baby

[Helloyou2]

Hi everyone. I am in a bit of a tricky situation and would love your input. I am 33 years old and recently had a miscarriage a few months ago. I would like to start trying for a baby again but have been in conversation about a new job opportunity. There is a high chance this opportunity will be offered to me and although I will be very grateful I’m worried about my plans to start a family. Ideally I don’t want to wait too long to try for but I am worried I won’t be able to perform as well as I would if I fall pregnant during my probation period. And therefore I might not pass my probation.

My first question is, if this was to happen, could they find a way to not pass my probation or am I protected?

My second question is, do you think I should tell them at the final interview stage I am planning to start a family?

Im just so confused so would appreciate all of your input and advice. Thanks so much!

No they couldn’t find a way to fail you in your probation without cause and certainly not because you are pregnant. You are fairly protected on that front.

No, don’t tell them you are planning. It could take many months to get pregnant and realistically if you get the job, fall pregnant after that even very quickly you will likely be most of the way through probation before you even tell them.

Thank you @Sallyh87 During my first pregnancy, I was very unwell with sickness etc so it was difficult to manage with work so I worry in a new job this could look like I am not giving my 100% - especially if they don't know I am pregnant at all! A lot of people are telling me it would be safer to stay in my current role, interested to get your thoughts on that

I would definitely not tell them at the interview as you don't know how long it can take to fall pregnant. You don't want to give them an excuse to discriminate against you based on your intentions to start a family. But perhaps once you do fall pregnant and if you get bad symptoms you could have a conversation with your line manager? It should be treated the same as if you were ill for any other reason (the bad symptoms I mean). I also wouldn't turn down this opportunity because again, what if it takes longer than expected and you miss it when you could have easily gone for it?

When I was TTC we went ahead with wedding plans, holiday plans and I even took up a new opp at work with considerably more responsibilities. Now I'm nearly 10 weeks and trying to juggle it all - but it's worth it! Life is short and you never know what it will through at you. There's no point putting your life on hold for something you have little control over.

@LaVitesse2022 thank you for sharing, this is so helpful, especially knowing that you were in a similar position. Congrats on your pregnancy also :)

Hi @Helloyou2 I had a similar situation. I also was trying for a baby and had a miscarriage and put off looking for new job opportunities due to the situation. Then I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer and an opportunity came up I was really interested in. After 2 interviews I found out I was pregnant. I debated what to do, but in the end decided I still really wanted the job so I accepted when they offered, and told the new employer after the 12 week scan I’m pregnant.
I start the new job in April and leave 3 months later on maternity leave. It’s definitely not an ideal situation and I realise it’s difficult for the employer, however they have been great and really accommodating, even giving me some maternity pay which I don’t qualify for. And every day in my current job I am so happy that I’m taking this new opportunity and will have it to come back to after maternity leave.

So I would say go for the job - you have to do what is best for you. Don’t tell them about plans to start a family as you are not obliged to and you don’t know when it will happen.
I am not a HR specialist but I did google and find out a company is not allowed to withdraw a job offer just because you are pregnant. So I’d be very surprised if you could fail your probation for being pregnant.
One thing just to look at if the job is with a different employer the qualifying requirements for maternity pay/statutory maternity pay. Also it means I can’t do shared parental leave with my partner.
Good luck!

@Natpat81 wow thank you so much for sharing! I’m so relieved to hear I am not the only one experiencing such mixed emotions about all of this. I do feel the whole work and pregnancy / baby situation can be a very tricky one for women and it feels quite unfair to not take an opportunity just because you want to start a family. I feel very relieved hearing yours and everyone else’s response. I have my final stage interview next week so will work out my next steps based on the outcome. Good luck with your new job and pregnancy!

I would echo what others have said, when I decided to start ttc I decided to just stay in my job for stability despite not being very happy in my role. My ttc journey has taken much longer than hoped/anticipated and included a mc. I’m now 11 weeks pregnant and honestly so gutted that I didn’t move roles before getting pregnant. I don’t feel like I can move at this point due to maternity pay but I am already absolutely dreading coming back to this role after mat leave. So much so that I’m planning to extend my mat leave (which is short as I’m outside of the uk) with unpaid leave in the hope of finding a new job. So basically I say go for it, you never know what’s going to happen and I have plenty of friends who moved jobs, announced pregnancy within the first few months of being there and were really well supported by the respective new companies.

Agree with all of the above so won’t repeat it. I wouldn’t tell them because it could cause someone unconscious or even conscious bias against you and you’re under no obligation to even tell them you’re pregnant until well into your pregnancy.

The other thing I would mention about TTC and changing jobs is to be aware of your entitlement of both statutory maternity pay (check out on gov.Uk) and enhanced maternity pay which you can tactfully ask a recruiter about at the new place. I work in HR and companies see this a lot more than you would think, but most important is for you to know financial risks of changing and timings of TTC.

Thank you @RPH92 @Saturnsmoon - appreciate the advice and sharing your own personal circumstances!

I got pregnant 3 months into a new job. By the time I was on mat leave 9 months later, I had been at the job for a year and never had the feeling that I had just joined them went out. Even if you fall pregnant right away, pregnancy is long! When I came back to work after mat leave it came up in a conversation with a colleague that I had been pregnant basically the whole time I knew him, and he was shocked!

Go forth, seize the opportunity and find a way! Changing jobs when you come back from mat leave is not going to feel like a more opportune moment.