Worried about loosing my friends/too tired to meet up.

[MilesGabe]

Hi there, I’ve just joined mumsnet. I think I am hoping to find others that felt similar to what I’m
feeling atm.

I’m 13+2 days pregnant and I’ve been really struggling with fatigue and sickness. So much so, that I’ve been finding it really hard to get out and about. I know advice says I should, but it’s sometimes to hard to face.

I feel like I’m becoming a bad/flakey friend. And I’m very worried I’ll start to lose my friendships. I’ve been cancelling plans and avoiding making them. I feel like I’m really starting to let my friends down. It’ll be even harder to see them once bubba is here, plus I have a 2 year old DD.

I’m hoping that perhaps there are others in the same boat, or those that have been where I’ve been but they’ve still managed to keep their friendships going. It’s usually the other way round when those that are pregnant say their friends aren’t being supportive, but it feels like the total opposite for me!

Any positive stories are most welcome as I’ve just humiliated myself and left a blubbering voicemail to a friend who I was suppose to meet tonight. 😓

*losing not loosing!

I think you’re being too hard on yourself!

I understand how you feel. I spent the whole of the first trimester indoors, cancelling on friends and letting people down. I had time off work too due to extreme morning sickness. I’m now in the third trimester and I no longer have morning sickness but I do have pelvic girdle and tiredness so I can’t do as much as I’d like to do.

You’re growing a human being and it’s tough. If any of your friends have an issue with that then they’re not true friends. My friends have been really understanding and accommodating and travel to me if I’m struggling.

I’m usually such a people pleaser and always put others first but I think pregnancy and motherhood is the perfect scenario to start putting yourself and baby first and stop worrying about others 😊 true friends are understanding

That is so kind @MRSDoos thank you for responding.

I think you are right. I do have a tendency even when I’m not pregnant to be quite hard on myself. Luckily, my friends are very lovely. I think in a way that makes me feel even more guilty! Am I ever happy?! 😂

I was quite lucky with my first pregnancy because it was in lockdown (I know not everyone felt lucky), so I couldn’t even see people anyway. I think I feel this weird pressure to carry on as normal now like has gone back to a near normal.

I can sympathise about being sick and work. I can’t wait to tell mine so I can take some annual leave just to sit around!

Congrats on getting to the third trimester!

I feel like you, my friends regularly message to ask how I am and suggest meeting up but I have to really force myself to go! Im okay with my best friend because we could just do nothing and it’d be fine, it’s just the others feels like such a huge effort! I’m the first one in our group to have a baby too so think they’re extra excited🤣 I’d try not to worry, if my friend was pregnant I know I wouldn’t having any expectations of them to want to meet up all the time, so I’m sure your friends are the same!xx

@MilesGabe Yes completely understand the need to carry on as normal! I still find it hard when people tell me I need to slow down or rest.

Thank you! Currently 32 weeks with our rainbow baby boy xx wishing you all the best

You’re so right @ChloeN I definitely wouldn’t expect my friends who were pregnant to be up for meeting. That’s lovely your friends are so excited. I think people in general are being more open about pregnancy and how hard it can be sometimes, so I do think people are staring to be more aware. I hope I don’t sound ungrateful for being pregnant in the first place! Many congrats on your pregnancy!

Oh how wonderful @MRSDoos you’re so close now! Haha, I loved it if someone told me to slow down, I’d be like yup ok! Xx

I am currently 13 weeks 5 days and I haven’t told some of my friends only told 2 as they live close and also haven’t told family members about the pregnancy!

I have my reasons and I hope they will be understanding. I feel the same sometimes as if I am being a bad friend or missing out on family gatherings etc but I have to look after myself and the baby that’s my priority until September!

If they are truly your friends they will completely understand and support you through this journey.

You’re completely right. I think it’s a little bit of paranoia on my end!

It’s funny because now I’ve been feeling a little better there was no way I could of met up with anyone in my first trimester. Hein sight is a wonderful right?!