Miscarriage at 10 weeks. What happened to me and advice.

[Notjustamumma]

I have recently suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks and I wanted to write about my experience physically and give a bit of advice incase it might help anyone else in this position. I was very shocked and frightened and wanted to know what was normal. I am 30, I have a 2 year old daughter, I have had no previous miscarriages. WARNING this is detailed and graphic.

I had a scan at 7 weeks where I was dated at 7 weeks and there was a heartbeat. About a week later I noticed my fatigue got less and I started to feel more ‘normal’ and less tired (yay I thought). Three weeks later at the 10 week mark my symptoms before a miscarriage started with brown discharge for 3 days. I was not worried at this point. On day 3 in the evening I had some more red blood but not much, a panty liner was still enough. On day 4 and 5 I had period type bleeding in amount, colour and consistency (slight clots and slimy). I started to worry at this point and mum came to stay to help with my 2 year old incase. No cramps at this stage. I went to the GP who organised me a scan for the next day at EPU. I slept ok and things seemed bleeding wise the same when I got up at 6. I did have some period type cramps that morning but I still had hope that things would be ok on the scan. At 9:00 am just when I was about to leave for my scan I had a ‘gush’ of blood, clots and clear fluids. At this moment I realised I was definitely having a miscarriage. I went upstairs to the bathroom, tried to keep calm, breathed with my face in a towel, cried, and let it happen on the toilet for a while. The bleeding was VERY heavy at this time and frightened me (I wanted to know what was normal at this point as I was thinking of calling an ambulance and I could not find much info). I started to feel very faint and had to lie down with my legs raised and had a sugary tea which helped. I also had bad cramps at this point but no worse than bad period cramps. I took paracetamol which helped. I had two more of these ‘gushes’ over the next hour containing blood, large clots (some plumb sized) and in the third one an obvious sac and placenta the size of a plumb. The bleeding calmed down very quickly after I had passed the baby (sorry I don’t like calling it a foetus). I think I lost at least a pint of blood over an hour which is more than what my midwife said was normal but definitely in line with other stories I have heard. For me the physical miscarriage was an ‘event’ over an hour or two with some period like bleeding before and after. Not a gradual thing. I didn’t get to my scan so I don’t know when my baby ceased to thrive but I suspect around 8/9 weeks. I don’t know yet if everything has passed naturally yet so I will update if I need medical assistance with that after the weekend.

Practical advice that might make things a little easier:

1. get support and ask for help even if you haven’t announced your pregnancy, tell some people you trust what’s going on
2. make sure you have some max absorption Tenna lady pants (pads won’t do)
3. dark towels for showering and sitting on so you can relax
4. baby wipes
5. instant food in the fridge and freezer
6. It’s not your fault it really isn’t, be kind to yourself
7. be careful when going down the stairs as you will be shocked. I fell down the stairs and have heard of others doing the same in a time of trauma/shock

Maybe others could post their personal experiences to create an archive for those who are wanting to gather more detailed information if they have had a ‘no heart beat’ or any of the symptoms that might be anxiety provoking. Also if you are waiting and things might not be ok just remember things are just as likely to be ok and bleeding can be ‘normal’!

phew sorry for the essay! I am going to cry for a few more days and plant a weeping cherrie tree in memory of the little soul that was not meant to be. Then I am going to choose to be positive for the future and try again. Love and support to anyone going through this, who has gone through it or anyone who is anxious (The worst part).

xxx

I am really sorry. That's a horrible experience. I had 2 miscarriages but each at 6 weeks, so not as advanced. Nothing you could have done. Sometimes these horrible things just happen.

Your story is so similar to mine!! I'm currently in the process of a miscarriage - I was 11 weeks.

Having never had one before, I didn't know what to expect and found the physical side of things just as traumatic as the moment I heard the words 'I'm sorry but its not good news'.

It was incredibly painful, scary and just awful seeing what was coming out of me - I will never forget what I saw in that toilet bowl and had to flush away.

Thank you for being graphic, I want to talk about what I've been through but don't want to share the details with my partner or friends. I wish someone would of prepared me for what this would actually be like, and then maybe I would be coping better.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best x

I am so sorry to hear of your experience, thanking you kindly for sharing, i too hope it helps others who may unfortunately find themselves in that position. I too have been invited for a 7 week scan which i put down to this being my first pregnancy at my age (39) but you're much younger with a dd. Do you know why, or did you pay for it? Wishing you a speedy recovery, its a good plan to cry it all out, allow yourself to mourn (I agree with baby not foetus) but i hope that you know you can try again when ready x

Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such a hard thing to live through.
My MC was rather a different event but maybe also worth sharing. It was my second pregnancy (I have a DC who is 4) and I had much stronger symptoms than with my first. Mega bloated, very nauseated the whole time, was even physically sick which I never was with my first. Then there was a couple of days at 8-9 weeks where I suddenly felt very very ill. I was in bed, unable to get up from the nausea and the fatigue. I remember thinking "this doesn't feel normal". Then everything stopped, including all my pregnancy symptoms. I reassured myself at the time that around 10 weeks the placenta takes over so went about my days relatively unworried. At my 12 weeks scan however (I was actually already 13 weeks), it was discovered that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing around 8-9 weeks, so exactly the time when I was feeling very poorly. My body however had clearly no intention of dealing with the situation and a week later I was still not bleeding. By that point the baby had been deceased for over 5 weeks so I opted fur surgical management via MVA. The hospital staff were incredible. So kind and caring, they really looked after me and my husband as well as they could. The procedure itself was quick but really rather painful in my case. And they also luckily warned me beforehand that when they remove the tissue and the baby the device makes a sucking noise. I think I would have found that quite disturbing had they not told me in advance.
I spent the rest of the day in bed with mild cramps, watching Netflix. The bleeding stopped after a few days and I felt totally recovered a week later.

Amazingly, I fell pregnant again two weeks after the bleeding had stopped and I'm now 27 weeks along with my rainbow baby. It was the most horrendous time of my life but the one thought that got me through it all was that whoever will be my second child would simply not exist if this hadn't happened.

Thank you for sharing your stories and I'm so sorry you went through this or are going through it at the moment.
I also very clearly remember being so scared that my body had decided that this was it, pregnancy wasn't for me and it wouldn't happen again. It just added to the sadness. I am currently pregnant with rainbow baby, so this didn't come true and I hope it brings comfort to anyone who might be having that same fear.
In terms of the sadness and grief - obviously again everyone is very different - I found that it came in stages for me. I would be feeling better and all of a sudden something made me very teary again. And that's ok. I even get moments now where, although I'm so incredibly grateful for the little life growing, I am sad for the one that didn't stick around.
The Miscarriage Association was a great resource for me and I ended up submitting a short poem to them in memory of that very first pregnancy and baby.
Wishing everyone who goes through it all the very best 💐

Mine stopped at 6+ weeks, but I didn’t start bleeding until 11weeks. (I had a private scan at 9 weeks so I found out then about the missed miscarriage). It was my first pregnancy.

At 11weeks I had a few days of horrible pain in my uterus, and then 2-3hrs passing it all on the toilet. My Always pad was not strong enough, I soaked my jeans on the way to the toilet. The saving Grace was that I was at home for those few days due to it being Easter. I wasn’t prepared for the amount that would come out. I’m not sure how I even had that much blood and stuff for only 6 weeks of a growing embryo. I thought it would just end after 1-2weeks of period like bleeding.

4-5 weeks later I was still bleeding and positive. I had retained products and then opted for surgery. In reflection I wish I had the option of surgery straight away the first time. I was a day patient, and the next day I had pain (plus pain going to the toilet, maybe due to the uterus shrinking or the ga) but then it was mostly all over. So my first pregnancy in total was 16 weeks. More longwinded than I thought it would be.

Im now 32weeks along. I conceived again 3 months after the surgery. So if the previous would have continued I wouldn’t be looking forward to meeting this little one in May.

Its so nice to hear of your rainbow babies...gives me hope that one day I'll fall pregnant again!

I'm having a good day today - its only been 5 days since I was told I'd lost the baby so feel like I'm doing well. I'm sure I'll have my moments but that's OK.

Wishing you all the best x

Hi, I arranged a private 7 week scan. Please don’t worry and assume the worst, remember the chances are definitely high of you having a successful pregnancy especially if you’re 7 week scan measures on time (ish) and there’s a heart beat. Always be positive, I will be x

Hi again,

Sorry the above reply was to @NatGee .

I’m sorry for everyone’s stories and losses. There are so many elements and things can be daunting and scary, how to cope emotionally and scary things physically like waiting for a miscarriage to happen or needing medical assistance.

No one should ever blame themselves or their body, I actually feel proud of my body for how it handled things and I feel confident with the fact that my baby most probably had a chromosomal abnormality that made them incompatible with life. All of our little souls would not have made it in anyone’s else body either…. Remember that.

I personally feel quite at peace with the situation, I actually feel detached as if I was never pregnant so I think it will hit me later on. Anyway you feel is valid and no one knows the road that led you to that pregnancy and then the loss.

I am going to give my self a full cycle as I feel my body needs a little time to heal and then start trying again straight away.

Sending love

It’s all so horrendously grim isn’t it.
I'm currently coming towards the end of my miscarriage of my first pregnancy at 10wks.
For me I’ve been desperately looking for other peoples graphic descriptions to try and rationalise and come to terms with what’s happened. So apologies as my experience is graphic.
Everyone always says ‘miscarriages are so common and not talked about enough’ and now I’m realising they’re not talked about because how do you explain to someone you had to pick up a blood clot the size of your open hand off the bathroom floor?
Mine is a missed miscarriage, so the baby never grew past 6 weeks.
After a small amount of bleeding and a scan on Friday morning to confirm no heart beat I bled for 2 days with huge clots. Like I couldn’t believe I could bleed that much and still be alive. But my haemoglobin levels were fine. Spent most of the time on the toilet. Not much cramping. Thought it must surely be over, bleeding slowed down. Sunday 1am I had the worst pain I’d ever felt, went to a&e. They ‘removed tissue’ which relieved the pain instantly. Basically it was contractions and the foetus/baby was recovered and sent for testing (not genetic testing).
Now it’s Tuesday and I’m just laying low till my follow up scan on Friday. They have to check all the tissue has gone or something. I stopped listening towards the end.

Wishing everyone a speedy recovery. We’re really bloody tough.

@Anonymous19911991 I completely understand needing to find graphic descriptions and share my own! I was in shock at the amount of blood and the size of the clots. I had extreme cramping, there was blood everywhere. I ended up wiping blood and tissue off the bathroom floor with my boyfriend wanting to call 999. I know it sounds stupid, but I was just expecting a heavy period - I was only 11 weeks.

I tried talking to my friends about it, but none of them have ever been pregnant and when I started to share the details, I could see in their faces that they just didn't want to hear it. But I need to talk about it, it was traumatic and sharing what I've been through helps me process it.

You're right, we are really bloody tough!!

Yeh totally get it! I have a sneaky suspicion one of my friend group is about to announce her pregnancy so I’m in this weird position of wanting to tell them what’s happened to me, but not wanting to put a damper on her joy. I’m relieved beyond words that I’d only told close family (and my boss) that I was pregnant.

I don’t think my husband quite believes me when I say I want to try again as soon as I’m physically able. I feel like if I give myself too long to process what’s happened I’ll just keep thinking back to the really dark horrible parts of the whole experience. I don’t want to forget how happy I felt when I was pregnant.

Good idea to create a thread with experiences as I searched for these during my miscarriage

I went to EPU at 8+4 as I had a couple of days of brown/red spotting, only when I wiped, not heavy

They diagnosed a miscarriage right away as it looked like baby had stopped growing somewhere in week 7... no heartbeat

Over the next few days I had
1-2 days of lighter red bleeding similar to very early period
1 day of really bad cramping and heavier bleeding - think this was most of the miscarriage
3 days of heavier bleeding with clots but similar to a heavy period, nothing passed that I could identify as a baby, just heavy dark red blood
3 days again of lighter bleeding
2 more days of spotting

I bled for around 10-11 days total, had a follow up scan on day 14 and was given the all clear

As I tracked ovulation a few weeks later I also had a random clump of I guess uterine lining? White/grey tissue that randomly fell out with no other bleeding or symptoms - during the time of my LH surge

I have ovulated again around 12 days since the bleeding stopped and 22 days after the start of the bleeding - again if that info is of interest to anyone

I was expecting to know when I passed the baby but I didn't, I was expecting huge clots but didn't have any, just heavy bleeding but nothing I'd say was worryingly heavy

I don't usually post, but I wanted to come on and thank the OP and all of the other comments on this thread and other similar ones - there was another similar one like this but I can't find it now. I found them just after I miscarried and it was incredibly comforting in an incredibly dark and shocking time - comforting to know other women had gone through something similar.

I had a miscarriage just over two weeks ago, at 10 weeks +4 days. I had my booking appointment on the Monday, then on the Tuesday afternoon I had some light spotting - I hadn't had any spotting with my son, so I felt alarmed. I'd also felt really strange earlier in the day - all of my usual pregnancy symptoms (nausea and so on) had stopped that morning. I tried not to panic and phoned the helpline at the maternity ward. They were reassuring and explained some women do have some bleeding at about 10 weeks, so just to monitor it and it should be fine. I had a little more that evening when I went to the toilet (on wiping), but I still tried to stay calm.

I woke up at 4am that night, needing the loo. Sorry this is going to be a little graphic but I hope it can help someone else going through the same thing. I sat on the toilet to do a wee and - whoosh - what felt like everything came out. I quickly held toilet paper between my legs and looked - there was a considerable amount of blood, clots, solids - my brain didn't let me look at it for long - instinct forced me to flush it all down the loo. I burst into tears and thought I was going to faint - my husband came out onto the landing as I called him. I was kneeling down with my head on the floor so I didn't faint - it must have been shocking for him. Then over the next 2 hours I had cramping and more clots passing through and I kept going to the loo when it felt like large clots were coming. I phoned the maternity helpline again and they were very supportive, explaining that it sounded like a miscarriage, and to phone again first thing.

This week it will be 3 weeks since that night and I was told I need to do a pregnancy test to check it is negative - if it is positive I have to contact the maternity ward again, if it is negative it means everything has passed. I had bleeding a bit like a period for about a week or so afterwards - on about the 4th or 5th day I had some huge tissue like solids come out - that was unexpected and really shocked me too.

I just wanted to say to anyone out there reading this and/or going through something similar - you can do this. It was awful - the worst thing that's ever happened to me - but you can do this. Women are amazing!

I'm now still processing it all - it was all such a shock and to go from being 10 weeks and nearly at my first scan, to going to nothing at all was heartbreaking, shocking, just awful. I still cry when I'm alone and it all comes rushing back. Any tips on how to process it all and deal with this would be very welcome.

I’m so sorry @bean812, it’s really really shit and I remember how that feeling of being so close to the ‘safe’ 12 week mark is gut wrenching.
My miscarriage was March last year, And I think for me when physically everything was over, like the bleeding had completely stopped, I thought I’d just be able to get back to normal life and pretend that it was all a bad dream. My advice would be don’t do that! Your body has been through a massive physical trauma, is in a state of shock and needs rest. Plus you’re literally mourning a loss. It’s exhausting. Rest as much as possible.
I remember just feeling drained for weeks after, but for me a lot of that came from having to put on a brave face and pretending it was all okay. Masking is exhausting, save it for the important stuff, let yourself fall apart around those that you can. I cried at home A LOT.
My advice would also be set boundaries. 2 weeks after my mc, my close friend announced she was pregnant, and her due date was a week out from what mine would have been. She was so kind about it, and told me in private etc, but it broke my heart. After a few days of excited baby messages in group chats I had to just take some time away from the group and left. People understand, and just saying straight up what you are and are not willing to talk about with people protects your heart a little bit.
Oh and also, book your due date off work. Or due week even better. I didn’t really think it would matter to me that long after, but I found that date just stuck with me (Oct 5th) and the closer it got the more anxious I felt. Nothing terrible happened, it was just a sad day. Kind of like an early anniversary reminder of the whole thing.

Also, my first period after the miscarriage I found quite triggering. Not really much you can actually do about that unfortunately, but something to look out for.

Im sorry you’re going through this, I hope you have lots of love and support around you.
As annoying and cliche as it is, time is the biggest healer. Just make sure you give yourself time to feel all your feeling and cry all your crying. This event, as sad and shitty as it is, will not occupy your every thought given time. Your body and mind are amazing things capable of healing from unimaginable trauma. You will be okay! Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. x

Thank you to everyone that has shared their experiences on here - what brave beings us women are.

I had a scan at 10 weeks that told me that our baby had no heartbeat and had stopped developing at 9.5 weeks. I had no symptoms or bleeding at this point.

3 days later I was given ‘medical management’ in hospital and spent a night and two days painfully passing the baby and a LOT of blood.

After coming home the following evening, the bleeding eased up and was very light for 24 hours until on day 4 after taking the tablets I had excruciating pain and a LOT of blood. There were big clots at the point but no obvious tissue.

This then calmed until day 6 where upon waking up in the morning I went to the loo and felt something hanging out of me, when I pulled this, a well formed placenta came out. There was not a huge amount of blood but it was a large and complete piece of tissue. I phone the EGU and they said to monitor the bleeding and to take painkillers.

For the last 3 days since then, I really thought things were clearing up - just light bleeding, brown discharge and no pain at all.

Then yesterday (day 9 after the tablets in hospital) I developed heavy period like pains and started bleeding heavily again. Not gushing like the original miscarriage but as heavy as any period I have ever had. I’m so exhausted and my mental strength is really running out. I can’t seem to find anything online that says of this is normal or not and the EGU just say to monitor and take painkillers. I don’t care about the pain, I just want to know that everything is okay in my uterus because I am desperate to be able to conceive again.

Does anyone know of a similar story where someone has been heavily bleeding 9/10 days later - it would be good to feel like this is normal!!

Thanks in advance and love and healing energy to all of us women going though or have gone through this difficult journey xxx