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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Missed miscarriage not sure what to do.

18 replies

S47 · 12/03/2023 16:10

Hi 2 days ago i got told I’m having a missed miscarriage. 8 weeks 5 days, they have given me the 3 options but I’m just really not sure which one to do, I thought maybe natural but I don’t want to wait too long, the medication one I’m scared of they said they would prescribe me Codine for the pain and some anti sickness tablets but I can’t afford to have the time off work so I’m abit scared of choosing that option, same as the operation I can’t afford the time off work, I also had a miscarriage at 7 weeks which the bleeding started before having any scan that’s how I knew I was miscarrying, that ended up as a complete miscarriage. Can anyone tell me how long they had to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally? Thanks x

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Notjustamumma · 12/03/2023 18:46

Hi there,

I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you are ok emotionally. I have just been through a miscarriage at 10 weeks and I estimate that my baby ceased to thrive about a week before my spotting started but I never had a scan as I miscarried that morning. I think most people will have the physical miscarriage within two weeks of the heartbeat stopping so I’m not sure where you are in relation to that? I understand mentally you just want it over with.

All the best with what ever you decide. X

bringmearainbow · 12/03/2023 19:34

Sorry for your loss my second mmc I tried to wait for nature but 4 weeks later nothing had happened and I went in for the surgery. I've now had the surgery twice and I have to say the physical recovery was very quick I felt absolutely fine with very minimal bleeding the next day both times

ChloeN · 12/03/2023 19:40

I think it can take weeks to mc naturally, a friend lost her baby at 6 weeks and made it to the 12 week scan with no bleeding or signs of a problem so she then chose medication. I had the tablets, I found it fine and actually had them on a weekend so I didn’t have any time off work. I probably should of done emotionally but I found it easier to try and continue as normal xx

PretzelBite · 12/03/2023 19:55

So sorry op.
When I had my mmc the foetus had only grown to between 5-6 weeks. I found out at 8 weeks and it took a further week to have all the scans and set a date for the operation. I chose the erpc as I really didn’t want to play the waiting game and my body clearly wasn’t letting go on its own. It can take a long time for some I think. Honestly physically I could have gone back to work 2 days after the operation, pain and bleeding had died down by then but emotionally i wasn’t ready. Hope you’re ok.

LottieBuzz · 12/03/2023 20:00

Hey,

I'm so sorry your going through this. I am also in the process of a miscarriage - I was 11 weeks. I went for scan as I was lightly bleeding and they told me that the baby had most likely died at 8-9 weeks. I choose the natural route and started bleeding heavily two days after the scan. I feel the worst of it passed the same day. I am now only bleeding lightly so think its over. It was painful and fairly traumatic. I wish someone had told me to expect that because I feel I would of coped better.

Wishing you the best x

fizzydrinkss · 12/03/2023 20:35

Hi,

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a mc in december, had bleeding and pain for a week and I still hadn't passed everything so I had to have a mva procedure. I was given the same 3 options as you and I opted to have the mva and I am so glad I did.

It was quite painful but only for 2-3 minutes and I was given gas and air. I bled for a few hours afterwards but nothing like I had been and the pains were like an instant relief.

I would recommend the mva to anyone as it honestly did help me and meant I could start to focus on the mental side of things knowing that the physical symptoms were gone.

Sending lots of love Flowers

SkyBlue20 · 12/03/2023 20:45

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I had a MMC in 2020, the baby had died at nine weeks but I found out at my 12 week scan. It was the first week of lockdown so the only option I had was expectant management and after those two weeks, nothing had happened (so a total of five weeks from baby’s heart stopping). Then I was offered the medical management, for which I was an inpatient for the day. Again, it didn’t work and the code in made me sick as a dog. I was then finally allowed surgical management (under local not general anaesthetic) and it was by far and away the best experience. The longest part was waiting for the doctor to be available but the procedure itself was mere minutes, it was uncomfortable but not painful and I felt absolutely fine (physically) afterwards. I would 100% recommend that over the others.

I hope all goes well for you and please do look after yourself, it’s an absolutely awful thing to go through. Xx

SkyBlue20 · 12/03/2023 20:45

*codeine!

HiCYa · 12/03/2023 21:12

Both missed miscarriages at 10 weeks measuring 6 weeks , so took 4 weeks to happen naturally without me knowing until I got scanned due to spotting. Both times were horrible labour pains, I took no medication even though I begged the doctors. Once they finally gave me codene the baby and pain had passed so I didn’t need to take it. The other time happened at home rather than hospital. if I could I would definitely chose the d&c as I heard there’s minimal pain after and it’s over and done with quickly. the emotional pain was too hard for me to handle when it happened naturally . but then I also think d&c would make me feel guilty as I felt I needed to go through the pain as it was the least I could do for my poor babies

Original poster
S47 · 12/03/2023 21:40

Hi everyone thanks for the replys, I work in a pre school so as you can imagine it’s a very full on job, I think I get 3 days off work paid. I’m having a call with the hospital tomorrow to hopefully get the tablets, I saw the baby on the screen at the scan so knowing that is still inside me but I won’t actually ever get to have them is just killing me so I’m choosing the tablets to just get it over with, the surgery I’m too scared for so I don’t think I’m going to go for that. Again thanks so much everyone I’m sorry for all your loses too sending all my love it’s the hardest thing ever 🤍

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Original poster
S47 · 12/03/2023 21:41

Also, The miscarriage I had at 7 weeks i experienced next to no pain really, just normal period like pains so I’m hoping this one won’t be too bad :(

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ChloeN · 12/03/2023 21:44

@S47 The pain from tablets really was not that bad for me at all, I know everyone is different but it’s not always awful! Sending you lots of love I hope it goes as okay as it can xx

Original poster
S47 · 12/03/2023 21:49

Thank you so much thats good to know, how far gone were you? Xxx

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ChloeN · 12/03/2023 21:58

@S47 I found out at 8w3d, baby had stopped growing the week before. I then had the tablets the week after finding out, I’d had no bleeding before so did take a while for it to get started and had to have a couple of doses of the tablets xx

Hopingsobad · 13/03/2023 23:35

I’m so sorry for your loses, life sure it tough 😪, I’m honestly on the edge, this is my second in 6 months.

I found out I was pregnant 4 weeks ago, I worked out I should be around 6 weeks, I went for a scan as was unsure of dates and they said they couldn’t see anything. My HCG was going down so they told me the pregnancy was not viable and a week later I bled, not too heavily but there were clots. I carried on testing until I got a negative and tried to move on. Two weeks later I took a test as felt a little off and it was blazing positive!! What could have happened? I have only had sex twice since this positive and that was before I miscarried (bled). Surely it can’t be a new pregnancy!? I’ve got a scan next Monday but until then I’m beside myself with worry. A molar pregnancy was mentioned on my first scan as I had what they called “cystic spaces” but then this was shut down due to my hcg being so low, 250 beta, then 128, then 57.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? And had any kind of happy outcome? I’m meant to be going away to Spain for my 30th today and it’s all I can think about, not to mention I’ve got a feeling my partner is going to propose after 3 years together and I just don’t feel I can be happy about anything right now 😪

Original poster
S47 · 14/03/2023 05:59

@Hopingsobad i haven’t had a period since I think September as I got pregnant and miscarried in December at 7 weeks, got pregnant straight after same as you only had sex once or twice and my positive was soo strong and now I’ve miscarried again, but you never know! Yours could be a healthy pregnancy so please don’t lose hope! Wishing you all the best, try and have the best time in Spain you’ll get your rainbow one day🤍 sending all my love xx

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Hopingsobad · 14/03/2023 06:25

@S47 I am so sorry for both of your losses. Did you bleed after you conceived or before? I’m no doctor but surely you couldn’t conceive and then bleed and it still be a healthy pregnancy? But who knows. I really hope I just get some answers soon 🙏

Original poster
S47 · 14/03/2023 06:55

@Hopingsobad thank you, and with my first miscarriage in December I bled at 7 weeks then went in for a scan and was told I was miscarrying and then this one I haven’t bled yet they just couldn’t find a heartbeat when I went for a scan, going for an appointment to get the tablets today. loads of people bleed and still have a healthy pregnancy, don’t lose hope! praying for you🤞🏻 hope you get all the good news soon🤍

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