Mat leave anxiety

[Plimsongrey]

I'll be going on mat leave in about 4 weeks and although I'm excited, I worry about being away from work.

I'll be taking 7 months but my company is growing so fast and evolves so quickly, it's causing me anxiety.

I also have a potential promotion on the cards but I've been told we'll discuss when I'm back now and I've have had chance 'to think about on what lifestyle I want'. This phrasing has made me nervous - is it just a way of saying you might not be up to it when you're back?

Hate having all these worries on my mind but I just have this sinking feeling that I'll come back and be forgotten about. I probably overly rely on work for a sense of worth and confidence and that will be gone soon.

I feel bad for feeling like this as should be focused on baby but inone of that feels Real yet.

Honestly when the baby arrived you will be too busy to think about this for a while and then you will know (after a few months) what matters and whether you want the promotion or not. I remember telling my sister that I knew I would want to go back to work after having my baby (still pregnant at the time) and she scoffed and said I wouldn’t and I had no idea how having a baby changes you. I still did want to go back, as work still mattered to me and like you it built my self-worth up (and ability to not talk about nothing but babies). But everyone is different and you will just have to wait and see how you feel.

In a way what your work have said is probably the kindest thing they could have, they’ve told you your valued and that it’s up to you what you want to do when you come back. I would read that as then wanting to keep you, whatever the cost, rather than pushing you out.

Thanks @PrimarilyParented that's a much nicer way of framing what work have said and I think you're probably right. I guess I just get so insecure about all this

It’s a very emotional time and easy to be insecure. Glad I could help.

I know where you’re coming from. I’m 34 weeks and my company is going through a lot of team changes which are making me feel really unsettled and unsure about returning or whether they even want me to . My DH has said that I need to leave the door open and see how I feel in a few months time. At the moment I am exhausted (I also have a toddler) and hormonal so it’s best to let that settle and make these decisions later. I know he’s totally right.

As pp said, you will switch off from work once the baby is here. It’s great that they are interested in what will work for you and your family in the future. Take that as a positive!

Everyone is different and there's no way of knowing how you'll feel once the baby is here. But I'll share how I felt.
Before having my first child, my work was the most important thing in my life. I scheduled 5 months of mat leave based on work projects and when I was pregnant I thought that was ages. I was worried about how I'd cope with being away from work.
Once my daughter arrived everything changed for me. I never once thought about work during mat leave and I really struggled going back after 5 months, it felt way too soon. It took months for me to reconnect with my sense of purpose at work - I eventually did but it's like I had to discover a whole new work version of myself. I found that even my sense of ambition has changed- I'm not prioritising career progression right now but I still trust it will come. I haven't lost my ambition it's just not front and centre.
I'm now pregnant with my second and I am absolutely taking a full year off!