teenage pregnancy

[greystrands]

My 17yr old has just announced that she's pregnant, she's an A* 2nd year A level student, due to go to uni in sep (or take a gap year). She was diagnosed with autism a few months ago (we were waiting years for the diagnosis). She's not handling this well in that she's not taking it seriously. I've told her its not the eight time to have a child etc. but she's not taking it seriously. she's had cancelling at the hospital but still says she hasn't made up her mind. She's going out on the razz with her mate tonight. I'm furious about this. She hasn't told her dad yet, despite my urging. I've known for 5 days now. Me and her dad live apart but co-parent. I've asked her to stay at her dads tonight and tell but she has refused and is being very bravado about going out. I feel like calling her friend's mum to ask her daughter to talk to mine. She's been used to masking all her life. I can't imagine what is going through her head. I don't know what to do. Should I tell her dad tonight? I've sort of threatened her that I will if she doesn't, should I call her friend's mum? any advice fully appreciated. thank you. I'm going out of my mind

It’s likely your daughter is scared and confused and needs support right now. You seem to be pressuring her a lot to do what you want her to do, which is just going to push her away from you. She’s come to you and told you hoping for some sort of support and to feel ok, stop trying to force her to do things. Be there for her. At the end of the day it’s her choice what she does, she can still complete college and uni with a baby if she has the determination. Likewise she may decide not to continue with the pregnancy in which case she’ll also need a lot of support, but it is her choice.

Tell her dad see if he can talk some sense into her. Are you sure she is pregnant, did she show you the test? It sounds like she's trying to get at you for some reason, why else would she announce that she's pregnant to you then also announce she's off out for a night of drinking. Even at 17 she would understand that drinking whilst pregnant is wrong and will obviously know that you would be upset.

thank you

she's definitely pregnant, she told me on Monday night, I've been urging her to tell her dad all week but she hasn't. I feel awful holding this information from him, but we need his support. she said she'll tell him tomorrow .