Unsure of whether to have a third baby?

[SecondtimeMama29]

Exactly as the title states. I don't know whether to have a third or not.

I currently have two healthy and gorgeous boys, soon to be 2 and 4.

I don't know whether to go again but need to know relatively soon as don't have forever on the clock!

Pros:

A third baby would be lovely
Potentially a girl!
Always wanted three
Love having a newborn

Cons:

How to juggle it all
Don't want to upset a family member who only has one child and is desperate for another
Small age gap - overwhelming?

I had two (boy first, then girl), 22 months apart. The age gap wasn't much of an issue.

If you want another, don't let the potential upset of a family member put you off. Other women in her life will surely have more children.

I feel it's very close to home and I know she will go another year of not talking to me or making my life difficult 😞

Well, her reaction is not something you can control. Do what will make you and your partner happy.

Besides not talking to you, what can she do to make your life difficult?

@SecondtimeMama29

I feel you will end up resenting her if she influences your choice and you could end up not speaking for even longer.

Sounds like you want another one so why don't you try as you know from said family member it's not always possible.

I had fertility issues no children and no one knew- I was never resentful of others having children as I longed for it myself, so I could never begrudge anyone for being lucky enough to fulfil that longing.

I am luckily 35 weeks pregnant now however 2 days after a failed ivf cycle I found out a close family member was pregnant. I was so happy for them even though I longed for the same. They still don't know this, I would be r ruin their happiness.

Good Luck from your posh it sounds like you know your decision in your heart.

Have a third if you've always wanted three. If you don't, you'll end up begrudging the person whose feelings you're trying to save. I also don't mean this to sound as selfish as it may come out but you need to live for YOU, their feelings don't surpass yours.

Have the third baby! 💓

Think carefully about the impact on your existing children. I say that as a mum of 3, expecting number 4.

Do you have enough support for another one so that everyone still gets enough attention and to do the occasional age appropriate activity without siblings? Supportive DH, helpful friends with kids the same age, grandparents that are in good shape?

Will it be a big stretch to finances? We manage well enough now, but I do worry a little bit about teenage years with the possibility of expensive school trips/hobbies etc. Are you ok with potential delay to retirement? Not being able to provide as much to existing children in terms of support at Uni, helping with deposit for first house....

Do you have the space? May sound a bit bonkers, but with another one on the way, I am anxious about where we're going to put the baby stuff as our cupboards are already pretty full (baby stuff currently in the attic) and the bookshelves are overflowing.... I've tried looking through it, but there's nothing I think our kids wouldn't miss!!! We're ok for bedrooms just about, but again I sometimes worry about the teenage years. Realistically I think number 4 is going to put a strain on that.... we hope to be able to extend what is currently a tiny box room into a decent sized bedroom, but honestly don't see how we'd be able to afford it for another 10 years or more. Only one decent bathroom is also something that I think may make out lives a bit stressful in 10 years time.

Is your car appropriate? We got another one when a had the twins because the combination of having to get 3 car seats in and all the paraphenalia we seem to need... we don't ever go anywhere in DH's car with all of us. I miss my little car!

None of these are to say don't do it (would be very hippocritical of me!). Just that you really should think these things through in advance.