How to juggle this when I'm on my own?!

[FebMama]

So tonight DS1 (aged 3) needed dinner. DS2 (3.5 weeks old) also needed a feed at the same time. I am EBF at the moment. Luckily, my mum was here to help and sorted DS1's dinner whilst I tended to the baby. I'm just having a little panic as to what I'd do if I didn't have another pair of hands to help?! It's not like I could have fed baby first (he can take 45 minutes for a full feed), as DS1 would have had to wait too long for dinner.

Eventually I do plan to wear baby in a sling as soon as I feel physically better after the c section. So I know that will help me be more hands free for my eldest. But I feel overwhelmed at the idea of both of them needing me at the same time and not being able to tend to both of them.

Am I panicking over nothing and overthinking this?

Could you always have some snacks ready so maybe some crackers, cheese, ham? My little one loves bagels so I can always give him one of those to pacify him. Yes it might not be ideal as you want him to have a proper dinner but it won't be every night so I wouldn't stress too much.

Our 2 year old eats a small portion of what we had for dinner the night before so I literally just need to microwave it for 30seconds so if he's hungry it's really easy to get the food to him quickly. Is that an option?

My DD was exbf. In the first few weeks i relied a lot on frozen Shepard's pie and fish pie's with a bit of veg for ds. I would put it in the oven feed DD while it cooked then put it out. Probably not the healthiest but it got us through our evening routine quicker. They would cook ok and quicker in an air fryer.

But Sometimes I just had to leave her to cry for a few minutes while I saw to ds. So I could get her ready for pre school or play group. We would never have got out the house if we hadn't. He would feed around 7 I would give him a quick 10 minuite feed before we left then again got back home or get there. Ds pre school was only a few minutes walk. I spent a lot of time reading books while bf so ds didn't feel left out.

He also liked to copy everything I did with DD with a doll. Changing nappies feeding even pushing dolly in a buggy. He was also diagnosed with possible autism 2 weeks after birth, 4 weeks before he turned 3. You just seem to learn to manage. You probably won't think it now but you will miss those early days when they're older. I certainly do.

Until you get into more of a routine, I would plan very easy means for your eldest, things you know they'll eat and also things that you just pop in a pan or oven etc. Save the cooking from scratch till baby is older.

Also, I'm not saying let your baby cry and cry but if you have to let your youngest cry for a tiny bit while you finish off dinner or serve it up then no harm will be done.

I'm in a similar boat but my 2nd child hasn't been born yet - the above is the kind of advice I've been given myself (so you're not alone in the worry!).

I'm a few weeks down the line from you. DC2 just isn't quite getting to feed on demand in the same way as DC1 did. What I would do is feed DC2 for a bit so they relax a bit then unlatch, put down and prepare literally the simplest meal eg beans on toast or just sandwich with chopped veg, grated cheese and then go back to baby. Baby might cry a bit. Also probably try and get baby to feed a bit earlier knowing that tea needs to be around a certain times. Both kids end up having to wait sometimes! Also am doing quite a lot of freezing and reheating simple meals.

I found making dinner in slow cooker really good as you put it on in the morning and just leave it, baby tended to nap in the morning so I had a bit of time. I also learned to do most things one handed, feed baby holding him with one arm and do everything else with the other, obviously isn't possible with everything lol. It's really hard in the early days especially after a section but it does get easier with time. Sometimes if i needed to tend to my older child and the baby was crying/fussy I would lay him down and turn the hoover on, the noise always soothed him, maybe worth a try.

Thank you all for the replies. I guess it's just going to take some time, some tears and trial and error! I know it's early days still and things will get easier when we have a more established routine (although I know this is a long way away yet).

I think there will definitely have to be times that I have to feed DS2 a bit earlier in order to not clash with meal times for DS1, even if it means waking him for a feed rather than feeding on demand on certain occasions.