Second child yes or no?

[Isitjustus]

Hey,

Not sure what I am looking for really I just don’t have many Mum friends or people I know in our situation so want to see others opinions/advice.

We have a 3 year old little girl and it’s getting to the point where we need to decide for sure whether or not we should have another baby.

We only have a 2 bedroom place and moving somewhere is just not an option for us.

We both work full time and the 30hrs free funding has given us our first bit of financial breathing space.

We have spoke about having another child but we worry about the logistics and the childcare costs etc.

We are permanently getting the when you having another one questions and our little one keeps asking for a baby brother or sister.

Has anyone had only 1 child and regretted it or had 2 and regretted it? Will it be so hard adding another little person to our family? My husbands hours mean I am left to do mornings all alone before I start work so when they go to school etc I will be doing all that sort of thing alone.

Thank you if you made it this far :)

Silly question! What do you and DH want?
Your current housing doesn't matter, although you'd want them in separate rooms (at least if separate sex) by time youngest is about 4.
Tell other people it's none of their business!

From your post it doesn't look like you really want another child, just that you feel it's what you should do. Maybe you will have more responses from people's experience on the "One child families" board.

Absolutely do not let external pressures make you feel as though you should have another child. The financial situation alone means I think people having 1 and no more will become increasingly common. Just do your best to corm friendships for your little girl with other similar aged children locally

I know several people who are deciding to stop at one. They'd rather give the one kid they have an amazing life than be stretched financially, emotionally, timewise with two.
I'm so on the fence about it. I come from a big family and loved it, but I don't want to have that many kids myself
Think it's really normal to question it especially when bloody people keep asking! None of their business!

Soon to TTC and I yoyo between the idea of one and two

Of course I can’t fully say how I’ll feel until I know what one is like! The only drawback I can see to having one is loneliness later in life or in childhood, but I think later in life is a bigger issue. I think there’s lots more to consider when you’ve got two- you have to spread your time, care, money and effort in two. I’m sure this comes naturally to lots of people but I would hate competitiveness between siblings and know that I’d feel very guilty if one got a treat and the other didn’t, at any given time. As PP suggests in the country’s current financial state having one will become more common for many. I can’t see how many people will manage to help multiple adult DC with driving lessons, uni, housing fees in decades to come!

Do what’s right for you

I obviously can’t speak into the situation you will be in, but I absolutely loved going from 1 to 2 children and felt much less anxious about everything 2nd time around and my two really do adore each other. Do what feels right for your family 💕

I just wanted to say thank you for posting this thread. We are going through something similar. We always envisaged having two children but my much loved DS (2.5) has been so so hard work that it’s made me reconsider everything. Many people have said that going from 1-2 is a lot easier…. but honestly, I barely breathed for 3 years, had such awful PND, he still doesn’t sleep through even now. I’d so love another but I’m petrified about what having another “challenging” child, even though I love my son very, very much. Sending you love and hugs, only you know what’s right for you. Xxx