Pregnant and miserable

[daisychains76]

Hi.
I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with first baby and I'm really struggling.
Managed to get through the nausea in the first trimester and everyone said I would feel better and have more energy in second trimister which I was starting to but I've just found the last few weeks really hard again.
I don't feel like I've slept properly in weeks now, struggling with adjusting to sleeping with a bump and general awake ness. I've tried different pillows and I know it's affecting my partner too cause he's such a light sleeper.
We had a bit of a scare in the week because I didn't feel the baby move for a couple of days and I'd been having really bad nosebleeds/feeling really run down so they asked me to come in. Luckily everything was fine they just said you're so exhausted the baby is being really quiet and still and conserving it's energy. I was signed off work for the rest of the week but I've just been feeling so rubbish ever since.
The heartburn at night has also become unbearable, it makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up all the time and I think the anxiety of knowing it's going to happen isn't helping.
I'm meant to be going back to work tomorrow (writing this at 1am) and I know everyone keeps saying I should be off longer but I also feel I'm not helping myself being out of a routine, I'm generally better when I'm focused and it helps me sleep better soon.
I'm sorry for massive long ranty post, I just feel miserable and want to know I'm not alone. I'm so looking forward to meeting out baby and although I'm grateful for this pregnancy, I just really miss being comfortable and happy.
I've had a lot of problems with anxiety before and was having regular counselling for the last 2 years. I'm tempted to go back because I'm struggling to think straight at the moment. I think it would help to know if others have felt the same too or been in a similar position.
Thanks xxx

Hi OP,

I'm sorry you're having such a rotten time. Things sound really hard and pregnancy doesn't always look like one of those photoshoots! The constant lack of sleep you've been experiencing is so destructive to everything. I think looking at your bedtime routine (can you have a nice bath before bed / don't look at screen / no sugar / caffeine in the lead up to bed) might help. Can you listen to something soothing before bed eg. Audiobook / relaxing music?

Chat to your midwife about how you're feeling - if you can call them soon rather than wait until your next apt I think that would be best to support you sooner in these tricky times. The midwife might give you some useful advice or practical solutions and offer additional support you didn't know existed. I listened to the headspace pregnancy programme when I was pregnant and it was helpful - I think I had to pay for it. And I think I found some other (free) meditations on pregnancy on other meditation apps that I found quite calming.

Getting out for gentle walks during the day and getting some sunlight and nature might help too.
If you're able to access your counselling again that might be worthwhile if things are really getting on top of you but consider the expense of visiting a counsellor again (if it was private) both in terms of time and money and whether you can manage these.
Have you heard of Pandas? They're a charity supporting parents struggling with mental health in pregnancy and parenthood. Maybe there's something they can offer you by way of support / comfort: pandasfoundation.org.uk/how-we-can-support-you/

Wishing you well back at work today - if it turns out you did go back too soon hopefully you can go back to taking time off again and return when you're a bit more ready, or at least find support from managers or HR who can support you to find different ways of working that are more manageable for you right now.

Wishing you so much luck and I hope you find comfort, solace and joy very soon x

Thank you so much,
Your kindness has got me in floods of tears.
So many helpful pointers and I don't feel as alone now.

I will deffo look into these things, I really want to get better. I accept I'm going to be in discomfort at times but I really think being in a better place mentally would make a difference.

I've come back to work today. Won't lie, finding it quite hard going (I'm a reception teacher so very physical with Bending etc) but my TA has been incredible and I've managed to get a last minute cancellation for counselling tonight which was well timed.

Thank you again for being so nice.
Xxxx

That's great that you've managed to get the counselling apt and also that your TA is being amazing. Your job is such a busy and important one too - I'm sure the children in your class are a great distraction but you must work so hard.

I hope counselling will really help and I'm absolutely sure getting more sleep will help too. Good luck, I hope things look up very soon indeed xx

Just to say that you aren't alone. My situation is slightly different but I am really not enjoying being pregnant. I feel guilty - I wanted this baby so much and assumed I'd love being pregnant. I have had bad anxiety throughout the pregnancy as well as nausea. With the nausea it's exactly as you describe the heartburn - the fear of knowing it's coming every day. I wake up feeling good (thankfully - apart from some aches) and then gradually feel worse throughout the day.

I am trying to be really conscious of what makes me feel better and doing basically only those things. In my first trimester I did not enjoy anything, but thankfully now at 28 weeks I can enjoy more. I am paying attention to what makes me feel a bit better and what makes me feel a bit worse and just trying to get through each day at a time.

Have you spoken to your midwife? I've got to say that mine isn't the most sympathetic but she did refer me to the mental health midwife team who are better so that's something.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Pregnancy is a means to an end and it will be worth our suffering. You're making an amazing sacrifice for your baby by doing this.