Anyone else feeling miserable?

[needinganewname]

I feel so bad even saying it because I'm so grateful to be pregnant and that everything so far appears to be going well.

I'm 14 weeks ish and the first trimester has been awful and there are no signs of things letting up in the second trimester (in fact, the vomiting has got worse). It's all the typical symptoms (constant nausea, vomiting after meals, absolute exhaustion, insomnia etc.) that I feel everyone else copes with and so I should too, but I'm really not. I've barely left the house for weeks (luckily between jobs) and haven't seen anyone but my husband in this time. I spend most days either in bed or on the sofa although do and try to get out for a short walk when I can. I've had to cancel all my social plans as I can't even get in a car for a 5 minute journey without being sick. I'm lucky in that I've always had a lot of friends but I'm the first to be pregnant and they just don't get it and I've stopped talking about it because I could tell they were finding it dull. Quite a few of them are in very different life stages and have made it clear babies are boring to them anyway. My closest friend was really keen for me to TTC but has now all but fallen off the face of the earth; I know people are busy and I know pregnancy announcements can be tough for all sorts of reasons so I'm trying not to mind but in honesty it really hurts as I don't feel I have anyone to share this with. DH is wonderful but is working long hours and now doing most of the housework and all of the meal prep (I can't even open the fridge). He wants to spend his weekends doing fun things, not stuck in with me, and I can't begrudge him that but it's just adding to the horrible sense of isolation. I've also become really anxious which again is unlike me, but I guess I'm not using my brain for anything else...

Anyone else feeling a bit miserable and fancy joining my pity party?

Hello,

I will join your pity party!

I'm so sorry you feel this way but also so relieved because it's not just me! I could have written your post and am at 15 weeks.

I am so happy to be pregnant but so taken aback at how awful I've felt and it's so hard not to look at everyone else seeming to cope + holding down full time jobs during pregnancy and compare myself for being an absolute pathetic weakling.

Usually I'm fairly active but I too have rarely moved from the sofa and barely able to look after myself.

I work part time and have been able to do so from home over winter but even that has been too much and I have used all my sick days.

I did start feeling very slightly more myself over the last couple of weeks and was cautiously optimistic but due to the seasonal nature of my work have had to start going back in physically. As I say it's only part time but I can only seem to manage half a day before I feel as bad as ever again for days and seriously struggling now to the point of wondering about getting signed off but I'm not sure if that's possible 'just' for exhaustion!

It's really hard to be in this, it feels endless but I'm sure we'll come out the other side ok and these will just be distant memories...

Have you spoken to your midwife they may be able to give you some anti sickness medicine.

Minidinkydoo likewise, I'm not glad you're also feeling like this but glad to not be alone! Where is this pregnancy glow?! I was expecting the nausea and vomiting and can cope with that however miserable it may be but the exhaustion is just nothing I've ever experienced before. I'm also typically quite active and just so bored now! My midwife seems lovely but is just so optimistic and positive that I feel terrible complaining to her

Twoinapod I got some cyclizine really early on but have felt guilty taking it (silly I know) as I'm only actually vomiting a few times a day and the GP seemed very firm about only taking it if really necessary. Today has been so miserable though that I probably try. I've found it really hard not to be obsessive about all the things I should and shouldn't be doing!

Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Every pregnancy is different so don't compare yourself to others. Can you do something for yourself at home that makes you feel better? A bit of pampering maybe? I also find that doing some gentle movements (even if it's just some light stretches) makes my fatigue better. Go for walks around where you live.

I also totally get where you're coming from in terms of your friends. When I had my DC1, I was the first of all my friends to have a baby. We just suddenly lived on different planets.
I managed to meet local mums through pregnancy classes. There's also an app called Peanut where you can connect with other mums. Might do you some good to build up a new circle already. Your identity shifts somewhat when becoming a parent and I found I was much happier with that change once I properly allowed it.

Hope you feel better soon!

I met my husband 4.5 years ago and we have a 3.5 Yr told DD during my first pregnancy he drank too much at weekends and generally caused me a lot of anxiety . I didn’t want to have another pregnancy but he convinced me things would change and here i am only 5 was pregnant and he has drank more in the last two weekends since we found out then he has in a long time i feel utterly lied to and so angry with him and yet all he says it’s the hormones and he never promised to be sober . We got married last year i worried another pregnancy would end us i thought it would be okay this time i’m so angry AIBU?

Hey, again I could have written your post. I’m usually a really active person, not one for being unwell. Well pregnancy hit my so hard, I am now 16 weeks and only just getting back on my feet but I had hyperemesis that caused 3 hospital admissions, it’s floored me. The vomiting, the nausea and exhaustion are really bloody hard!
like you I thought everyone else seems to just get on with it, maybe some are just really lucky and others are suffering in silence.
All the best x

That sounds so terrible Josie, my vomiting has definitely not been that bad and I'm sorry to hear you've been so unwell. Hyperemesis just sounds horrific! Hope things are looking a little up for you now x

Thanks for this - it prompted me to be a little more proactive in feeling better. I had a long phone call with a friend today and feel so much better for it. I haven't thought much about the social aspect as we will be moving a few months after the birth but it probably is a good idea to build a little circle for when we have a new baby. We do plan to do antenatal classes and I've heard great things about Peanut. Thanks for the practical advice, really appreciated. Gentle movement is definitely important and I've found that no matter how bad I feel, a little fresh air (even if just sticking my head out the window ) tends to always be a good thing! I was feeling really quite sorry for myself when I made my post and getting such kind advice and support has been so helpful.

I'm so sorry to hear this, it sounds so difficult. Have you started your own thread so people can give you advice? x