Well we've planned it, tracked ovulation, DTD, obsessed over symptoms during the TTW and there it is in black (or pink or blue) and white PREGNANT. Now what? I'm 5w1d today and I'm so sick and so tired but this is what I wanted right? This is what we planned. So why am I suddenly so scared, so worried over how I'm going to cope, have we done the right thing? Do I want to be a parent again at the age of 39 when I've been there done that and got the t-shirt 3 times already. My eldest will be 19 this year, my youngest will be 8 and has complex autism. I should be winding down, looking forward to some me time I've been a parent for 19 whole years I've already spent 13 years doing the school run, after school clubs, birthday parties. Why am I starting again? Who's idea was this? Yet still I'm testing every 2nd day watching that line get darker and smiling to myself. At night I snuggle down with the wonder of the secret life in my tummy making me hug myself. It really is a roller coaster one I've travelled before and I was sure I wanted to travel again but I'm so sick so tired I can't enjoy the ride. My ever so helpful other half who desperately wanted this has jumped ship and I haven't seen him all week. So here I am happy and sad, exited but worried but mostly all alone and scared. Anyone else feeling this way?