Abandoned 2 weeks before due date

[An1ta]

I can't cope. My partner has left me 6 days ago and doesn't want to have anything to do with me and the baby. My due date is on Valentine's day. All I'm doing is crying day and night. I can't sleep. I get maybe an hour or two of sleep daily. I can't eat and can't even leave my house because of serious pelvic girdle pain that has left me limping. I can't tell my family how much I'm struggling.

I think if he had left at the beginning of the pregnancy I could have made my peace with it but he left so unexpectedly just before the birth. I don't know what I'm going to do. We didn't even have major issues, we both very much looked forward to have the baby and already planned more babies and family. He lost his temper when I complained he wasn't helping me much as I'm heavily pregnant and in pain. He demanded money back for a cot and pram he bought and when I refused he broke everything to pieces and left. Just like that, done.

I just can't believe he's done this at a time I needed him the most. I'm devastated. I've raised my 14 years old on my own and thought finally it's my turn to be happy. We planned to grow old together with lots of kids. I'm grieving the dream that'll never come true.

I’m so sorry, but please reach out to your family.

How awful, I am so sorry to hear this.

As the pp said, please do reach out to your family. And don't let the swine back- he broke up the baby's stuff?! Appalling.

As hard as it is better to find out now. Breaking the baby stuff to pieces is a sign of aggressive tendencies which only tend to get worse.

Definitely reach out to family or close friends. Make your midwife aware too, they may be able to put you in touch with other mums for support.

It doesn’t feel like it now, but you will be ok, you will be an amazing mum to this new baby. Just take each day at a time.

I am so so sorry you are going through this and now of all times.

However, I promise you, it is better to find out what he is capable of sooner rather than later. This isn't an opportune time for this information to reveal itself but a less opportune time would be after the baby arrives.

Breaking the babies stuff into pieces shows at best immature detachment, at worst uncontrolled rage.

You have done this before, you can do this again. You are vulnerable now but you will be more vulnerable living with someone like him.

Please contact your family and allow them to help you xx

I'm sorry you are finding yourself in this situation so close to the due date. You might not see it now but sounds like an awful partner and would not have made you happy. A good partner wood be doing his share of household chores and supported you when you are in pain, not needing to be begged to "help". A good partner would have bought more than just pram and cot, but Paris for half of all baby items. Finally, breaking all items is a red flag for domestic abuse. You are probably better off without him. As others have said, try to get support from friends, midwife, etc ...

I’m so sorry. He sounds awful. Please do speak to your family, it’s ok to need support and I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to suffer in silence ♥️

Thank you all for the support and kind messages. I know I'm better off finding out now. I just can't help to feel lonely. I know what he's done was terrible and just shows his character. I know I shouldn't ever go back. Despite knowing all this I can't help missing him. He's the most gentle and loving guy I've ever met. I thought I was done searching. All the plans we had. After raising my daughter alone I finally thought I found my person who'd alway be there, who I could rely on and who wanted the same things in life.

The single life is so hard when all u want is a family, home and happiness. I'm tired of doing it alone. I feel like that's it for me. Series of failed relationships. I was tired of it before. I can't imagine the rest of my life searching in vain for something that is just not meant for me I guess.

Sending big big hugs to you OP! So sorry you have are having to go through this it as everyone else has said, he has shown his true colours by breaking up the babies stuff. That is petty yet aggressive and completely unforgivable. It will feel hard now but you cannot have that sort of behaviour around your baby.

You have got this! You can do this! I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason and it may not seem like it now but your happiness will come (starting off with the birth of your beautiful baby!)

We are hear of you need anything, or to vent xxx

Thank you I'm still struggling a lot but your words are reassuring. I'm just hoping the baby will come soon to take my mind off things..

So sorry to hear this OP but you will get through this. It feels impossible now, especially with hormones and just wanting that happy ‘complete’ family dream but you’ve absolutely got this, you’re stronger than you know right now.

Breaking up the baby items and demanding money back is childish at best and abusive at worst. You both made your baby and he doesn’t get to demand money back as if items for them are conditional and a ‘gift’. He’s not a kind, loving or gentle person to do this, no matter what you’ve seen before. True colours always show and he’s shown no regard for your baby or your emotions/stress levels by doing such things.

You can tell you’re a wonderful mum, you’ve just got to focus on your children now (as hard as it is) and seek support from anyone around you you do have.
Wishing you all the best

Thank you. As the saying goes actions speak louder. I know I'll be fine eventually. Can't help the feeling of hoping he'll get punished in some type of way.