Finding out i'm 14 weeks pregnant at 40 yrs old

[nervousmum40]

Hi everyone
I guess I am looking for advice or reassurance
I had a MMC on 4th August 22 but attended a the EPU on 19th Jan following a positive pregnancy test, expected to be 8-9 weeks pregnant but was told it looks more like 13-14 weeks, which was a big shock. I was advised to get antenatel care booked asap but I have just received a letter with details of my first appointment for 21st Feb - which means I could be nearly 19 weeks at that stage. I guess I am fretting as I didnt find out I was pregnant until later so had still been smoking & drinking alcohol and coffee, have not seen a GP or midwife and have only started folic acid and vitamin D on 18th Jan. Is there anything else I need to be doing? I am 40 yrs old and my partner is 55.....so the age thing is also a worry - this would be our first child. I have not had any symptoms - I was completely off my feet for a week at Christmas but I had tested positive for covid so put it down to that. My boobs have swollen/feel fuller but I am still wearing the same bra size, I have not put on any weight but my belly definately feels bigger (bloated)

Well you’ve comfortably passed the peak worrying time pre 8 weeks.

What is your lifestyle like generally?

Can you afford a private scan?

My lifestyle/diet wouldn't be the best - I depended on coffee to keep my functioning in the mornings (maybe 4-5 cups per day), smoked approx 20 cigs a day and had a couple of drinks with dinner every evening. My partner and I both work long hours so dinner is usually a ready meal as opposed to home cooked 😕

Congratulations! The benefit is you’ve got less time to wait until the birth - pregnancy does drag!

Plenty of people don’t realise they’re pregnant and carry on drinking /don’t take folic acid and it’s nearly always fine. But a private scan might set your mind at rest.

and you were specially active and not using contraception? And trying for a baby?

And don’t worry too much about your diet. I ate terribly during early pregnancy as I felt sick and only really fancied chocolate and junk food.

Sexually I’m not judging but it does baffle me that clearly you were fertile if only pregnant a few months ago and were sexually active and not using contraception

and yet you didn’t adjust your lifestyle accordingly

Sorry I didnt come on here to be judged - We were not "actively" trying to conceive - the MMC hit me hard I didnt expect to fall pregnant again so soon, my partner and I have only had sex twice since Aug as i was in trepidation of going through the same thing again

Congratulations!

Have you had scan which confirmed 13-14 weeks at EPU? If so they should right away take blood tests and check for down syndrome etc. If that's the case your booking appointment should be made as matter of urgency, they need your health history record asap. I'm 42 and my last pregnancy was over 10 years ago, was prescribed to take aspirin from 12-16 weeks of pregnancy....all that assesment you get during your booking appointment. Considering you are 40+ and first pregnancy you meet 2 medium risk criteria for taking aspirin. It's 75mg a day, you can obviously buy yourself but consult with doctor first. It's really vital that you get your booking in appointment as soon as possible and at EPU they should know better.

I would try and contact the midwife by phone and see if the appointment can be made earlier based on your age and the fact you have found out quite a few weeks into pregnancy. At 40 you are considered a geriatric mother and may need additional care - you will probably be consultant led rather than just under the midwife. I was 40 when I fell pregnant with my second baby and at my 12 week scan I saw a consultant who assessed my risk factors and decided how my care would proceed and if I needed medicaion eg aspirin

Congratulations OP and I hope everything goes smoothly for you and that you and your partner are deeply happy with the news after the shock has worn off. Very, very best of luck.

I found out I was pregnant late on and had been on a 2 week alcohol soaked holiday before I found out. My wonderful and wise midwife told me I would probably do more harm to the baby by being stressed about it. She told me to stop worrying and start enjoying the pregnancy. Do I did and my DC was perfectly healthy.
Congratulations!!

Thank you

I self referred to EPU for (internal) reassurance scan, thinking i was 8-9 weeks but baby was big and looking more like 13-14 weeks, although no exact measurements taken but could see baby moving and could see a heartbeat. The EPU sent me home with a number to contact with regards to booking antenatal care asap, said i should get an appointment within the week but letter just arrived yesterday with a date of 21st Feb......i contacted midwife who said they cannot bring my appointment forward as they are already overbooked and told me to contact EPU again if i had any problems but if i was feeling well enough there was nothing else they could do, so now i am very anxious as i have not had any bloods/tests done and don't know anything about pregnancy as this is my first to have got to this stage

Thank you, we are both delighted however i am so anxious as it looks like i won't get any advice from a professional until 18-19 weeks. I would be nice to be able to be able to relax and enjoy this pregnancy

Thank you, i would love to be able to relax and enjoy, but that is easier said than done 😔I was hoping to announce to our family and friends once i had saw the midwife for reassurance but i cant even provide a due date, i don't know if i will be able to keep it quiet for another 3 weeks

Could you afford a private scan? You’re too far gone for any tests given at 12w scan, but you could pay for the harmony test if you really wanted to.
congrars!

Hi Op I found I was pregnant at around 16 weeks - I was breastfeeding my eldest and didn't actually get any periods so thought I wasn't fertile. I was in my early 30s though.

What happened was they gave me a scan at 20 weeks. All OK. Midwife came round to see me. Mine you that was the early 2000s so maybe better care then.

I would ask for a prompt scan 20 weeks perhaps. x