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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Worried I won't know labor is/started

42 replies

Jawjahh · 29/01/2023 11:12

I'm 39+4, first baby, and I'm so worried I won't know that I'm having contractions and labor is starting. Everyone says contractions feel like cramps, but for me cramps were just an uncomfortable ache in my abdomen... Well I've had an uncomfortable ache in my abdomen for months now, how on earth do I differentiate 🥲

I've been asking everyone I can, midwife, birthing class coach, friends, and they all say "oh you'll just know" saying as it's something I've never experienced before when I do experience it I'll "know"
But I'm experiencing A LOT if things I've never experienced before, how do I tell the difference between them???

I'm worried I'll think "oh that's just baby moving" or "that's just general discomfort its nothing" when really I should've been preparing.

I'm having a home water birth and I'm scared that I'll miss all the signs and it'll be too late to prepare the birth pool.

I feel these tight feelings in my belly often but it only last a few seconds, and everyone tells me contractions should last a lot longer so I'm like, "well it can't be that then?"

I know there's not a lot anyone can really do, I'll just have to know it's happening when it's happening, but I'm going insane worrying everything will be hectic and panicked all because I just don't know what to expect 😓

I'm not worried about the actual labor or birth, just that it's going to catch me by surprise and 💩 all over the birth I'm hoping for.

Sorry for rambling I'm just going mad waiting for this baby and waiting for a BIG sign it's all kicking off 😅

OP posts:

Ohgoodyanotherone · 29/01/2023 12:06

slowquickstep · 29/01/2023 11:41

You will know.

I didn't. I spent most of the day thinking I had trapped wind. It was only when (then) DH insisted on taking me to hospital that I was told I was in labour. DD was born just over an hour later.

BouncingWorms · 29/01/2023 13:03

No1 I knew it was labour, like period pains but they came and went, but it wasn’t that bad so I didn’t call until transition because I thought it was all early labour.
No2 my waters broke.
No3 I was halfway through before I realised it was labour, it was in my back and I get back pain normally.

Generally you’ll know, if you don’t it’s probably an easy labour. I know you want a water birth but if there’s not time for a pool, maybe be grateful it went quickly.

gogohmm · 29/01/2023 13:11

I know some people are saying you'll know the difference, but I do get your concerns because I was 7cm before I realised I was actually in labour, hospital were surprised I wasn't in pain, just a bit uncomfortable. Tooth ache is far worse

gogohmm · 29/01/2023 13:13

Not everyone is in agony for a day or 2

olderthanyouthink · 29/01/2023 13:16

@gogohmm I was in agony but only 1cm, still managed to have DD within a few hours though 🤦‍♀️ it really is guess work.

Bobbi730 · 29/01/2023 13:23

I know everyone says the same and I had the same worries. I had Braxton hicks contractions and thought they'd be like that.
I promise that you will definitely know. They are much more intense than cramps and they come regularly. They are nothing like anything I'd ever felt before. Good luck with it all

mrssunshinexxx · 29/01/2023 13:39

You'll definitely know, usually contractions start mild and short and build up over abit of time to be longer and much more painful

boogiebabies · 30/01/2023 20:44

I had a home water birth for my first baby too!

I wasn't sure I would know either, but of course by the point that it matters you absolutely do know.

Good thing for you is that you're at home so you don't have to go anywhere or make any decisions - you can just relax and see what happens!

My contractions started overnight, very mild cramps, and at some point I just noticed that they were very uniform and evenly spaced and realised they were probably contractions. They started in my lower back and rolled round to the front each time.

I had a very quick labour but we still had time fill the pool, I got in when it wasn't even half full. For reference, I had the regular mild cramps from 11pm-3am, then started having contractions I couldn't speak through from 4am, baby was out at 7am!

If you can put the pool up first (but save the liner for the day) then that would be ideal. I will do that this time.

sexnotgenders · 30/01/2023 21:09

boogiebabies · 30/01/2023 20:44

I had a home water birth for my first baby too!

I wasn't sure I would know either, but of course by the point that it matters you absolutely do know.

Good thing for you is that you're at home so you don't have to go anywhere or make any decisions - you can just relax and see what happens!

If you can put the pool up first (but save the liner for the day) then that would be ideal. I will do that this time.

OMG, you've basically just described my first birth too, including the timings! Really made me smile. Currently 22 weeks with number 2, and hoping for the same this time as well. We'll have to come back and exchange notes on how we get on 😊

WeWereInParis · 30/01/2023 21:18

I actually didn't "just know" because mine started with contractions that got really close together (one minute apart) but still not that painful. So I was confused because that didn't fit with what I was expecting.
But it became clear with plenty of time left!

boogiebabies · 31/01/2023 02:49

sexnotgenders · 30/01/2023 21:09

Show quote history

Ah how lovely! I'm 16 weeks now and hoping for another quick labour too!

I was so glad I planned a homebirth because there's absolutely no way I could have got in the car at that rate!

2023pending · 31/01/2023 02:51

I didn’t know either OP! But the day it started I absolutely knew straight away. Period cramps in my back, this horrific muscle cramp type feeling in the tops of my legs as well. Plus it follows a pattern and it gets worse as it goes on. Good luck! Xx

Original poster

Jawjahh · 07/02/2023 19:33

Thank you everyone for all your lovely comments and advice! (Minus the one unhelpful person here, you know who you are 🙄)

I feel very silly now because I did know, there was zero mistaking it once I was aware this is it this is the day.

And thankfully the birth went exactly as planned and it was beautiful and baby boy is here now (6.2.23) 💙

OP posts:

Freshair87 · 07/02/2023 20:59

Congratulations OP 💙💙

slowquickstep · 07/02/2023 21:29

Don't feel silly 'OP that worry is as old as time, we have all had the same thoughts. Congratulations @💙

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/02/2023 07:17

Jawjahh · 07/02/2023 19:33

Thank you everyone for all your lovely comments and advice! (Minus the one unhelpful person here, you know who you are 🙄)

I feel very silly now because I did know, there was zero mistaking it once I was aware this is it this is the day.

And thankfully the birth went exactly as planned and it was beautiful and baby boy is here now (6.2.23) 💙

Congratulations 🥳

ManyNameChanges · 09/02/2023 19:35

Jawjahh · 07/02/2023 19:33

Thank you everyone for all your lovely comments and advice! (Minus the one unhelpful person here, you know who you are 🙄)

I feel very silly now because I did know, there was zero mistaking it once I was aware this is it this is the day.

And thankfully the birth went exactly as planned and it was beautiful and baby boy is here now (6.2.23) 💙

Congratulations 💙💙
I wish you all the best for. Both you and the baby :)

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