Partner wants termination

[Higz]

4w+6d - Partner wants rid…. HELP:(

Having had a termination in October 2022 for baby no. 1 - instinctively knew straight away I had to get rid. Just started a new job and wasn’t the right time - I found out yesterday I’m 4w+5d. Instantly wanted to keep it. Despite
looking for work again (self employment ran dry - bloody winter), and all the plans we had are still happening this year (converting our iveco daily into a forever home and leaving the uk at the end of the year for good) - I STILL WANT TO KEEP IT. I know it adds a little spanner in the works but I know I’ll still be able to use a drill and jigsaw and paint brush with a 6 month bump, not a concern for me.

The issue is, my partner is adamant that he doesn’t want a baby yet, and not sure if he ever wants a baby now having experienced this twice in 3 month - his concerns are making space in the new build for the baby/child, limiting my inability to get work in a few years when we need income due to looking after a child, and ‘What about going to the Ashram in India’.

My take on it is pretty simple, we’ll easily have space in the van for bab/child - just make considerations whilst planning to ensure baby is accounted for, who knows what’s gonna happen in 2/3 years time when we need to go to work again - we cannot plan for these things, yes having a child may make it harder for me to get work, it may also open up more opportunities, we just can’t say for sure, and you can take kids to the ashram so I’m not bothered about that.

Partner sees the child as limiting options and future, I see it as opening up possibilities… help!

I support women's right to choose but pregnant with unwanted babies twice in 3 months?? Really? You are beyond reckless and irresponsible.

Keep the baby if you want - if they are healthy and so are you travelling with one isn't hard depending on where you are going neither is doing home renovations ones

If you don't keep it then at least please arrange to have it done privately rather than on the NHS and sort out contraception with your partner

This, 100%

OP you sound naive. Have a termination, sort out birth control and have a child when you have a job, and a place to live that isn't a campervan ffs.

As a pp has pointed out, you’re being quite naive about pregnancy. There’s no way I could do anything like you’ve described at 6 months as I was still constantly being sick, was incredibly fatigued and had severe pelvic pain and sciatica. At 32 weeks, I can only walk outside of the house on alternate days due to the pain - and I’m barely showing, my bump is tiny. I dread to think of the pain if I was bigger. Please do not underestimate the toll this could take on your body.
Your partner does not want a baby so I would fully expect to end up on your own. Be prepared for that if you go ahead.

Neither of you sound remotely mature enough to be parents. "Get rid" again and for god's sake use contraception.

What about going to the Ashram in India?
Ashrams in India are invariably there for the purpose of practicing Yoga or Hinduism or Buddhism. The final intention of all of these practices is the development of qualities like patience, loving kindness, and compassion.
Life has presented him RIGHT HERE AND NOW with an opportunity to develop all of those qualities in his everyday world. I am not joking. I had one of these "What about the Ashram" types, indeed I was married to him and had his child. She is a delight and now has a child of her own.

Don't abort a pregnancy that you want.

This 1000%. My high needs baby that I could reasonably tote about with me (not traveling but just around all day every day) became a high needs nuerodivergent/disabled kid. I cannot swan about wherever anymore, her needs trump my wants. She's had a bunch of appointments to get support and assesment.

I had a easy pregnancy where I could have done a fair bit of DIY and when she was a baby though super sleep deprived we could have muddled along but the freedom is gone now. That wasn't the plan at all, our options are limited and we didn't really see it coming.

Even for the pregnancy and first year there's a fair amount of standard appointments and vaccinations, it costs nothing on the NHS but a lot in other countries. Can you afford to do everything privately? Can you navigate doing this out of a system that takes you through it?

In 5 years or so you will need to deal with education, there are ways to do it on the road but will that suit all of you or will one or more end up suffering?