Is private maternity worth the travel?

[Missp23]

I have a dilema regarding my ELCS.

I can give birth in my local NHS hospital which is well rated for maternity care. The hospital is just under 1.5hours drive away. It is a rural hospital and people speak highly of their care. They have 2 private rooms which cannot be booked and are allocated on a medical need basis. My husband may or may not be able to stay but they said they would do their best to accommodate given the travel distance. All being well, I would stay 1 night but with the option of a 2nd if struggling with breastfeeding.

Alternatively, I have the option to give birth in a London hospital and have aftercare in their private wing. It is a 4 hour train journey to London. All being well, I would stay in hospital for 3 nights and my husband can stay the duration on a pull out bed.

Both hospitals have NICU and ICU.

Which would you pick?

I don't think you could have paid me to get on a train for four hours a day or two after birth, with a newborn plus luggage. Changing a maternity pad in a train loo? Nope! (I am quite lazy though and just wanted to relax)

I'd pay for DH to stay in a hotel near the closer hospital if necessary, so he wasn't as far away. This will also be easier if you end up staying in hospital an unexpectedly longer time - your DH will be better able to go home for things.

Wow that’s tricky. I’d choose the nearest hospital. Sorry there isn’t anything suitable nearer 😢

I was wondering too whether you could stay on longer in London after the birth. Lots of people do do this, including many who come from abroad to birth in the private sector here. All the London private options are well set-up to deal with emergencies and complications these days so I think you’re right not to be influenced by this. As you say, you’d arguably be better off in London in that instance that at a rural hospital.

Can you rent an AirBnB in London for two weeks after the birth? That to me would be the best option.

Neither option as they stand actually seems good though.

@Missp23 I have done the private ELCS option twice in London. Happy to share my thoughts if you want to DM me

What happens if you go into labour prior to your ELCS date? Obviously you would still have a C-section, but a train journey in labour for 4 hours sounds awful.

@AnnieApple123 @daretodenim yes, I can stay in London for as long as I like although I would rather get home asap. The hospital package includes a 3 night minimum stay, this can be extended as required. If I wanted to leave the hospital and stay in a hotel instead, after the 3 days then that would be fine.

@Clouds3898 thank you very much, I have sent a mail.

@TBOM if I went into labour spontaneously I would go to the hospital I was closest to at that given moment.

That makes sense - but doesn't that mean you would be going to the local one if you were at home?

I had a CS - I just wanted to get home as fast as possible, to my own home comforts. My hospital was 45 mins away (nearest maternity unit) - and even that felt like a very long drive, even though I had few complications post surgery.

@TBOM yes, if I was at home and went into labour i would end up at the local hospital. There are two other hospitals a similar distance away but if i was out for the day, i would likely be much closer to one of those. Because im in a rural community, if I go to the supermarket, for lunch, or anywhere really i would tend to drive at least 40mins in the opposite direction of my local hospital. Of course il ensure I have a bag in the car just incase but I am trying to have a plan for all being well.

@TBOM thats interesting to hear 45mins in the car was tough. Travelling for 1.5hours from local hospital to home, along poorly maintained country roads with 3 stops added on to break up the car seat journey for baby is a big concern. The stops will literally be at the side of the road, we live out in the sticks. Neither journey will be pleasant. I wonder whether the train would be smoother and a larger seat more comfortable. We really should have moved house
😂

@Missp23 Probably a little late for a house move 😂

I was in the sticks as well so feel your pain, everything was a proper drive away.

The train might be smoother, but it wasn't the bumpiness that was an issue, it was just general post-op not feeling at my best. But the lack of privacy on a train would have really bothered me. My boobs were a colustrummy leaky mess and I wasn't confident at breastfeeding so boobs were fully out whilst I struggled to master it. I bled a lot post-op, and needed to change pads fairly frequently, every hour or so. Not sure I'd have wanted to do that in a train loo. And I think I'd have worried a bit about the germy nature of train travel with a tiny newborn. Plus would have stressed if the baby had cried, which they can do a lot when v small. The privacy of a car journey, even with stop offs, plus the shorter journey, would trump having a private room in hospital.

I'm making having a baby sound awful - it really isn't, it's wonderful in the main. But I'd rather have gone for shorter time in hospital in a shared ward than longer in a private room, and shorter more private journey, if I were in your position.

I used to live very remotely (North Cornwall), no neighbours, 30 minutes drive to the nearest supermarket and pharmacy, 1 hour drive to the nearest hospital, no pavements/park to safely walk with newborn ... if you can afford to, I would start the whole baby adventure with a longish holiday in London. You could stay on for 3 weeks, until you are almost ready to drive. Get your head around healing, breastfeeding, getting to know baby before you are stuck in nowhere and realise you are out of nappies and can't get to the supermarket. My dh was working in London when dd1 was born, and rather than being stuck in our house in the sticks postpartum, we squeezed into his tiny apartment for a while.

@NellyBarney i think something like that could work out well. I am hoping to breast feed but iv stock piled various formula brands incase I struggle and then baby doesnt get on with any of them, we have SO many nappies! You really need to prepare when you have nothing aroubd. Once I am up and about it could be nice spending some time in London and walking along the river and round the parks. The more I think about the drive home, the more I worry and you are right, I am not sure it would be safe to stop. I need to find out how long the stops would need to be, like you describe, I would literally be stopped on a road without pavements. Thank you

@Missp23 That absolutely could work. I’m a homebody so wanted to be back. And spend half my life in hotels for work so that was also a problem for me. But it sounds like this could be a nice way to start motherhood. Good luck. Such a wonderful time. Let us know how you get on

I'd choose the local hospital. The London one is too much travelling.

I cannot imagine anything worse than being so far from home after having a baby. You will NOT want to stay in a hotel or wander round London parks.

Be as close to home as possible. 90 minutes may be long but it’s a lot shorter than four hours.

After a few traumatic birth experiences I opted for an ELCS last time. I wanted to totally avoid my local hospital & so opted for private antenatal care & delivery at the Portland which is 200 miles from home.

I had all the antenatal care between London & a local satellite clinic. That was wonderful, a lovely experience, but as time went on I began to get cold feet about the delivery.

In the end I opted to deliver at my local hospital which was absolutely the right decision.
My DH had to drive home at 10mph because every bump was agonising. All the fluid id had from the saline drips made me wee every 15 minutes so by the time I got home I was fit to burst. Imagine having to stop off at dirty service stations when you can’t walk and have a fresh wound.
Baby was glued to my breast from the minute they were born so was screaming within 20 minutes of setting off.

There’s absolutely no chance I could have left London comfortably in anything under a fortnight. I was just so glad to be home as soon as I could be. Hotels would be no fun with a newborn and a sore body.

One love of advice I got from the private consultant was to book onto my local services in case of an emergency. If you aren’t booked in you would have to attend A&E rather than the maternity services & then be referred. A long slog in the event that you have a problem.

Definitely the closest. Doing a train and taxi journey after c section - no thank you.
You say it’s rated highly too so I think it’s clear which is best.
I would prioritise my own pain and discomfort over how easy it is for husband to stay.

I’d get a lie flat car seat, sit in the back with baby and try not to stop during the 1.5 hour journey home. Lie flat car seat is probably good investment for you anyway as it sounds like your drives anywhere are likely to be long. Or plan one scheduled stop at around the halfway point even if it means a slight detour- anywhere with a car park will do so you can stop safely and give baby a feed on the backseat. Re staying in London longer, I had a textbook c section recovery and there’s still no way I would have I would have been up for river and park walks in the first 2-3 weeks.

I would save the money, grit your teeth for one night in the local hospital, then use some of the money to fund some really great post natal care, be that prepped meals, a cleaner, maternity nurse, whatever, so you can go home to your bed and nest comfortably with your baby. A four hour journey home with a newborn sounds horrendous - imagine if you're in pain bleeding and leaking on a shitty little train carriage with no toilet and the trains get cancelled or something.

I'd do the car travel option in the nearer hospital. In addition to everything everyone else has mentioned about long train journeys just after a major surgery, you need to consider your newborn's health. Baby will be exposed to flu/covid/RSV/other airborne illness at 2-3 days old on a train. It's rife at the moment. Better to keep them safe in your own car.

Admittedly this is also a risk if you are on a shared ward in your local hospital - is the c-section already scheduled or can you ask for a date when the private rooms are less likely to be already booked?

The private hospital will be better staffed. Partners weren't allowed to stay overnight on postnatal when I was in - I agree with this and wouldn't have wanted mine there. It's already noisy and crowded without adding an extra person per bed. But there wasn't the staff to provide adequate care for the mums and babies. So you're likely to find yourself after the CS being expected to change nappies and lift baby for feeding.

It's all very well them saying you can stay an extra night for BFing support but I didn't find this any help - I was in 3 nights on postnatal, saw multiple midwives and the lactation consultant, all of whom missed our BFing problems (which then resulted in my baby becoming seriously ill and having to be readmitted). You're likely to get more support and have more staff around in the private hospital. Getting as much rest as possible and eating well are also vital for BFing and it's difficult to get that on a postnatal ward.

We were a distance from the hospital - not far mileage wise but DH had to use the bus which took 1.5 hours each way. What we also found was there was an expectation he'd bring in more stuff each day I was in - so he was taking my blood-stained clothes home to wash and bring back the next day, buying more snacks (postnatal ward mealtimes are at old people eating times so you end up with nothing between 5pm and 8am), sourcing a breast pump, bringing in more nappies. Once we'd been readmitted he had to go out and buy baby bottles and bottle washing equipment to bring in as the hospital didn't provide these. You're far more likely to get stuff supplied at the private hospital.

So, ultimately, further to travel back from the private hospital but do you have options for making it more comfortable eg travelling at a quiet time, using first class? You're more likely to be in better shape though leaving the hospital - I was hallucinating with exhaustion after 3 nights on postnatal (after 2 nights on labour ward) and I still remember the relief at getting home away from the noise of that ward.

Does the baby seat go in the sports car? I think you'll need a family car anyway so why not make that bit of the journey more comfortable with a better suited car?

It absoloutley should not be standard for dads to stay on wards overnight.