Pregnancy After Loss

[Faith230]

Pregnancy after loss is so hard, I miscarried in year 2020, and now pregnant, I've only known for 8 days but it feels like a lifetime.. 😪 I'm constantly waiting for something bad to happen, and for me to be back in the depressed state again, like how do I do this? How can I be happy, or even slightly excited.. the worst part of all of this, is that I have 0 control of what happens, and if this baby wants to come it will, and if it doesn't, how will I cope with a second loss?

All im saying is, how do I go every second of everyday un anxious, un stressed, un overwhelmed. Because I dont think I ever will.

We were actively trying for this baby and I don't want it taken away from me again, 😪💔 I told my partner that I envy those who get pregnant and have an amazing pregnancy & he said he thinks we are stronger, he said he thinks we will appreciate it more, I get that, but still. It still sucks.

I just want to sleep up until 39 weeks. I just want to wake up and have baby here, how do I cope, how do you ladies do this after loss 😔

Just need a hand hold..

Big big hugs ❤️ I lost 2 last year after having one successful pregnancy and it's just hard to not feel anxious. When I was pregnant again after the first loss I just took it day by day and told myself today I was pregnant. I got through one and I could get through another if I had to which unfortunately I did. There have been many points after this last one that I've thought about giving up but ultimately I know I won't. You just have to do what you have to to get yourself through it. I found a lovely group of ladies in here that are TTC after loss and they are so supportive it's nice to have people to tell your worries to that just get it. I believe there's a pregnancy after loss thread that's been helpful to some. Good luck x

I'm sorry you're going through this. I was/am in a similar situation as you and it's not an easy time at all. The book Pregnancy after Loss was a good resource.
Also have a chat with your midwife. I was referred to a bereavement midwife and had weekly phone chats throughout the first trimester. It really helped.
Also don't be afraid to simply take your mind off being pregnant if you can. I spent a whole weekend in bed binge-watching Netflix when I went through a rough patch of extreme anxiety and it really sorted me out. I think my brain just needed to break away from the anxiety spiral. Have been much better able to cope since.
Sending you lots of positivity and baby dust!

Have a hand hold from me. I had a miscarriage last September and now 10 weeks pregnant with another. It's scary, it really is. You are not alone.

I don’t think there is an answer I’m afraid. You will likely be anxious regardless of trying to not think about it or trying to be positive. I found it eased a bit after the 12 week scan, and a bit more after the 20 week scan. It helps that I can now feel movements daily at 25weeks, but even then for the large part of the day when there’s no movements I am thinking ‘is everything ok?’

Good luck and I hope everything turns out well for you this time.

I'm on another thread of people due in September after miscarriage.
Someone posted a link to a book which they said was useful (link below).

I can empathise about feeling like it's all going to be taken away. I had two CPs last year and every day I wake convinced I am miscarrying again. I can't sleep, I feel sick from anxiety, it's taking over every thought.

I really hope everything works out for you. 💐

www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-After-Loss-day-day/dp/1409195945/ref=asc_df_1409195945/?amp%3BlinkCode=df0&amp%3Bhvadid=430885974441&amp%3Bhvnetw=g&amp%3Bhvrand=8186858230657268981&amp%3Bhvdev=m&amp%3Bhvlocphy=9046363&amp%3Bhvtargid=pla-926067841572&amp%3Bpsc=1&amp%3Badgrpid=97419295142&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Thank you ladies 💐

@Faith230 Hi faith! I am in the same boat. I have found out 5 days ago we’re pregnant after our missed miscarriage last April.
I’m all over the place with my emotions, my husband and I have been trying so hard for this baby. And now I’m so nervous. Every time I go to the toilet I’m on egg shells. I. Can’t wait to wake up to do a test. It’s ridiculous. I’ve bought the Zoe Coates book but most activities you can’t stay till 5 weeks so I’ve got a couple more days.
Its comforting to know I’m now alone with my anxiety.
I so hope we both get to hold our rainbow babies this year🍀

It's a bit shit isn't it? It's like you're totally robbed of 'the joy of pregnancy' because you're constantly waiting for something to go wrong.

OP, I had 2 m/c before I had my DS. For his whole pregnancy I was like a cat on a hot tin roof. When he finally arrived and was placed in my arms, I was actually shocked. What the hell is this? A live baby? It took me weeks to get over it.

I reckon day by day is good advice. Don't do what I did and assume the worst.

Best of luck X

@Dustyblue couldn’t agree more. The nativity of seeing a positive test and the thought that means a baby will be coming home has completely gone for me.

Congratulations on your DS. Shows us that it does happy. The idea of another 8-9 months of anxiety is hard but as you said day by day.
Hoping as each day and mini mile stone passed I will have some sort of relief. Fingers crossed x

How are you OP? How are you doing these days? So glad I found this thread, was looking for something similar.
I had two m/c and now 20 weeks and beyond anxious. Crying last couple days scared that something might happen. I can't cope with this crippling anxiety, it has completely distorted my views of the world and everything. I tried counseling but counseling doesn't work for me. I don't know what to do anymore to snap out of this, can see DH is getting tired of me too.
This anxiety doesn't end, I now appreciate it will last throughout the pregnancy just change its shape. Not getting enough support from people IRL after m/c definitely added a lot to it as well.

Hi all,
I hope you don't mind me joining.
I'm 5+ 4 with my current pregnancy and I find myself terrified every day,

I lost a baby to a missed miscarriages at 7weeks in December 2021.
We are a same sex couple and we're having iui. It was attempt 3 we got pregnant, after that we had three more tries.
After 8 months wait on a list, we started ivf. We got pregnant first round thankfully, but I'm plagued by self doubt.

I'm hoping being able to be part of a group of women who understand will help.

Due to an ivf complication I've had a few scans. I got her to look for the pregnancy sac at 5+1 and it was there. Nothing in it, which unfortunately triggered me after that being all we saw last time. I really brought it on myself. I have another scan at 6+1 and 7 but the fear is real x

How is everyone getting on now? I’m glad I found this thread.
Im 4+5 so very early and each day feels like a week! Trying not to even connect to the pregnancy until 10 weeks (when I’ll go for an early scan, hopefully).
I had a missed miscarriage last November, I had a private scan at 6 weeks where I saw a heartbeat so lulled into a false sense of security to then be told at my next scan the baby had stopped growing at 9+1.
I am so anxious and wish I could relax a little and not second guess every single twinge/niggle I feel!! X

Hi 👋 just found out I'm 6 weeks saw a heartbeat 💓. But lost my previous baby at 19 weeks. So happy yet terrified. I can't relax, yet I try to hope. Got all my medication to take as well. Bag of nerves!

Amazing! Hope all goes well.
what medication are you taking? I’ve got it in my head that I have thyroid issues so might ring my GP but not sure if they will listen to me. I’m just afraid that’s what maybe caused my last loss and don’t want it to happen again x

@99SR I'm under misscarige clinic. So progesterone pessaries, blood thinners injections.