Scary things for a first timer ... experienced advice would be very welcome ...

[BorgLady]

I'm a nervous first timer. Just hit 17 weeks and I'm starting to worry about everything. I suffer horribly with panic attacks and all this playing on my mind isn't helping!

So I've decided to be sensible and ask people who've already done it for their experiences. Hopefully it will give me some perspective and a good night's sleep.

1. First births ... do they always last ages? I keep hearing about people who were in labour for 48 hours and the like, followed by forceps and lots of stitches. Then I think that you never hear about people whose births aren't hideous, so please, if your first birth wasn't as bad as you thought it would be, tell me!
2. I was really really sick during first 12 weeks and I don't think I kept my folic acid down. I lied to my mw about it because I was so ashamed, what are the chances this will have hurt the baby?
3. Can I really not dye my hair while I'm pregnant? I use a home colourant and I'm sick to death of looking like shite when I used to be such a fox.
4. Will I feel like myself again? Ever? Everything feels so out of control at the moment and I'm worried I will never cope as a mother.

I'm sorry, they all sound pretty trivial but I'm the first of my siblings to have a baby and also the first of my friends. I've had a way rougher pregnancy than my mum ever did and she wasn't battling panic attacks at the same time!

Thanks to all who reply.

Hello BorgLady

Wanted to thank you for your post - expressed worries I'd been having too and so it was great to read the replies.

Thought I would add (as I also have panick attacks) my m/w said its OK to take bachs rescue remedy if you use that sort of thing (I do).

I was also worried about the hair thing. As my hormones and hair/skin have been so mental decided not to risk it. Instead, DH going to take the baby for 1/2 day (bless him) so I can do the full works at the H/dressers after the baby is born (due date is tomorrow so too late to worry now) - something to look forward to and to make me feel better in case I am not coping etc. Just wanted to share the idea. But if you can't wait - couldn't you do a sample and see what happens?

Good luck

G

borglady, as you are 17 weeks, we are at the same stage. come and join us on the 'due in july 08' antenatal club, we are all at a similar stage and support and reassure each other. some of us are on our 2nd, 3rd or even 6th babies, and some are first timers, so lots of combined experience!!!

Hiya

I'm a first timer like you and was looking at this thread to see the replies you got!

1. First births ... thank goodness there were some reassuring replies. I keep trying to think that I've survived 24 hours hangovers/bugs etc without even remembering them now...so surely I can cope with this!

1. I studied ethical law and when they 1st tested folic acid, they cancelled the test early because it only gave benefits, no deficits. However, not taking it did not cause any problems either. Our Mum's didn't take it and neither did any Mum before them and we're ok.

1. Hair dye - The advice I was given is not to use any dye that touches your scalp. Highlights are fine, treat yourself to a session at the hairdressers, goodness knows you deserve it!

1. No idea! I know what you mean, had a few tears the other day over 'where am I in all of this? I can't work/exercise/wear clothes/eat like I used to, etc, etc.' Felt much better afterwards but never actually answered my question...

the folic acid is really doing it's best work in the first 10 days. Given how many babies are surprises there must be a fair few born perfectly fine without the stuff. Add the number of babies conceived as a result of too much booze and you get an idea that they can withstand quite a lot. Take it when you remember, calm down and try not to stress. Happy mummy = happy baby