What do I do - unplanned pregnancy no 3

[loopa]

Looking some objective advice. Have 2 beautiful kids aged 4 and 2. Just moved into a bigger house (not big just bigger than the last shoebox) which has added to the mortgage and it needs loads of work doing to it. I have returned to work part-time and really like it. We have been using condoms whilst hubby decides on sterilisation BUT big shock am now pregnant with number3. It has been a huge shock and I just can't get used to the idea. Have been thinking about termination but hubby hates the idea and I'm not sure I could go through with it. 3 sounds like so much more work though and puts us back to square one in a way. What should I do? How can I even make a choice - I'm all over the place at the moment - pleae help.

you can still work part time with another one

I have 2 ds and a dss, and am 30 weeks pg. Having the three together can be hard work but they entertain each other alot; can hand down clothes, share toys etc. they look out for one another.

Its not too much of a square one is it wit your youngest only 2? it does get SOOOOO much easier when they start school too, trust me!

Would your DH support you through a termination? i have never had one but know that support is vital.

Are you just scared initially or really dont want one?

I hope you find your answer

hi loopa ,i have 3 children and it really is not that bad,i find having an extra child a joy,im a full time student and cope with it all i was really scared at first but you really do get used to it,you could still work after ml

i know how you feel and what you mean honestly you think you rlife is more settled workwise you can sleep better at night more time to yourself and all of a sudden your going to be thrown back to square one i really do understand i have 6 children so far 2 have grown up and i have at home 16,7,6,and 3 life was just getting easier we bought a bigger house i had just got myself a new car not a people mover for a change something i liked i had a part time teaching job could my husband is a long distance lorry driver so he only home weekends but life was ticking along comfortably good routines etc.... then along came unplanned baby number 7 oh my gosh i cried and cried i was devasted and couldnt understand why really id done it before what was the big deal but the deal was i didnt want to go back to square one i really didnt we talked it through and i would have had a termination if i would have had support but deep down my dh was against it he said hed support me but i felt he would have resented me so i carried on im now 4 mths pg and so calm i have bonded with this baby already and am so thankful i did not have a temination ive had a scan and fell in love with the little thing i have never felt quite that way before but this baby is so very right for me and us a family trouble is i think all our hormones go haywire at the begginning and thats not fair on us we can make the wrong decision to quickly really think about it and i hope you make the right choice for you you are in my thoughts let us know how you get on

wow ds,i really do think you are a star 7 dc ,do you find things hard work?
i would really love num 4 one day but dh is not at all kean i promised him no more at num3,but he is one this month and that is when i start to feel broody again,

I didn't know I was going to have number 3. I wanted to but DP always said no way. I fell pregnant and DP wasn't up for it at all. Said no way. But as i said to him at the time, I'm not asking you if we can, I'm telling you I am, baby is here, on it's way, it's happened. I asked him to look at his 2 DD's and asked him to imagine life without them and I then said it would be the same with number 3.

IMO, and it is only my opinion, you could regret not having this child for the rest of your life and wonder who she or he might be and what life would have been like. And you could never regret having a child and never ever be able to imagine what life would have been like without them.

My DD3 is now 4 months old. Life is fab, busy, but hey it was always gonne be. Her sisters adore her, we all do, she's such a lovely content little girl.

i'll go back to work 3 days a week and we'll get a slightly bigger house one day, meanwhile DD1 & 2 share a room.

It'll all all be ok, watever happens.

Thanks for your messages, having 7 children kinda puts my choice into perspective. I feel really selfish because it is really only my needs that I'm putting first there are no family, house, financial reasons really. I think the comments about shock are useful, although I feel the clock is ticking about a decision it's not something that can be rushed so I'm going to chew it over for a couple of weeks and see how I feel. Was talking to a friend today who is pregnant with her planned 3rd child and she says she is all over the place even though she planned it. So you're right about the shock and hormones. I'll come back on in a couple of days and let you know what's happening. Many thanks for the thoughts.

Loopa
I have a very nearly 4 year old and a 2.5 year old (ds and dd) and planned and am pg with no3. I am still sh**ting myself even though it was planned! I work part time and have told myself that I will go back (as I need and like to work) but am not giving myself a timescale as to when. I had lots of reassurance on a thread I wrote in parenting about life not ending when you have 3.
I have been through a termination when I was 18 (am now 35) so can see both perspectives. 3 does seem like so many more than 2 (you are outnumbered and outgunned) but at the same time you have a little brood rather than a neat twosome. I quite like that idea. Good luck with your decision whatever you decide

Just to update you and close this thread. After much soul searching have decided to keep this baby and get on with it. No real logic just feel I would regret any termination but never regret the baby once it was here. So am slowing getting used to the idea. Having a scan in a couple of weeks so if everything is okay start begging and borrowing baby stuff from friends that I have given away!.

Many thanks for those that posted comments - they did help.

Take care all.