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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Not sure how to feel

1 reply

Anon1234677 · 15/01/2023 17:48

Hi

Im 31 years old. Recently divorced after a 10+ relationship. I met my boyfriend 18 months ago. We don’t live together yet but we were planning to do soon.

I’ve just found out im pregnant. Super early but im not sure how I feel. We spoke about having children. It was in our plan but I just didn’t think it would happen this soon. I do want children one day.

I thought when I found out I was pregnant I would be happy. But since I’ve found out 24 hours ago all I’ve done is cry.

I am worried if I don’t continue with this, he will resent me. He said he won’t. I don’t know if I can live with the what happens if we can’t get pregnant again.

I was just finding myself after my divorce. It had been an abusive emotional relationship. I don’t know if I’m ready. I feel selfish for worrying and having these thoughts. I’m worried about my career. My weight. My body. My hobbies.

I have a phobia of giving birth. I know I have an irrational fear of vomiting. I don’t think I can do a natural delivery.

I know sometimes people are never ready and there is some say no right time. We are financially stable but I do worry that this will of course impact our life style. I feel guilty and selfish for having these feelings. I know someone (and have friends who have gone through infertility) and that makes me feel
so guilty. I know this could be a blessing.

I don’t know if im over the trauma of my divorce. I thought I was but it all seems to be coming out now. My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive, even though we have had as you can imagine, difficult conversations. If I do continue, should I tell my ex husband?

I know no one will have the answers but I just wanted to right my feelings down.

OP posts:
GoT1904 · 15/01/2023 18:22

I don't see any need for you to tell your ex husband about your life choices. Do you feel as though you should?

I'm sorry it's hit you like this. :( It must feel awful. I have a history of trauma and for some reason pregnancy brings it to the fore, you may feel this in future pregnancies too. But if you choose not to go ahead with this baby, then you could spend the time to work through some of it in therapy?

Personally I'd give yourself a little time, maybe a week, to have a think about what you really want and your reasons for this. The choice is entirely yours and there is no 'right' choice. You've no reason to believe that you won't be able to conceive again.

Is it possible for you to separate what fears may be different from this pregnancy and a potential future one? Sending love. X

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