Pregnancy after so many miscarriages

plantsareglorious · 2023-01-14T17:26:56+00:00

Hi all, I don't know what I want from this thread but bear with me. I've had so many loses, most notably a haemorrhage miscarriage at 3 months and two consecutive molars. I've had over 7 loses in all. Tommy's have been great and got me on pessaries and I've also been taking aspirin. I thought I was about 13 weeks, however I realised I counted a period in oct when I never actually had one so I may be 17ish weeks. I've had my head in the sand, I've not had any tests, no scan, nothing. I'm absolutely terrified that as soon as I go into the scan room, it's bad news. I am think I have PTSD from my last scans, it's been so hard. Each time convincing myself it's going to be ok, for it to go so badly wrong. To be honest, I'd given up, but then realised I'd not had a period so tested back in nov (I think). I'm terrified. I think I can feel it moving, like flutters (have had a baby before), like little echos of movement below my belly button but maybe I'm just convincing myself. However when it happens, it takes me by surprise. I know I've been stupid not having scans, I'm just so so so terrified and don't know how to go through another loss :( I've booked a private scan for tomorrow, guess I'm posting this to help me not chicken out. I feel so lost, guilty, worried and sad.

chasingtherainbow1 · 14/01/2023 18:31

I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I have had 3 myself so fully understand the scan anxiety. I'm currently 28/29 weeks and still refuse to believe it's happening.

I really hope the scan goes well for you tomorrow and definitely get in touch with your GP to see a midwife after the scan. I think if you're feeling flutters it should be a good sign. Especially because you feel them earlier with your second child. Praying it goes well and let us know how it goes x

Original poster

plantsareglorious · 14/01/2023 18:40

chasingtherainbow1 · 14/01/2023 18:31

I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I have had 3 myself so fully understand the scan anxiety. I'm currently 28/29 weeks and still refuse to believe it's happening.

I really hope the scan goes well for you tomorrow and definitely get in touch with your GP to see a midwife after the scan. I think if you're feeling flutters it should be a good sign. Especially because you feel them earlier with your second child. Praying it goes well and let us know how it goes x

So hard isn't it, thank you 🙏🏻

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ChloeN · 14/01/2023 18:52

@plantsareglorious good luck tomorrow lovely I’ll be thinking of you! If you’re feeling movements I’m sure that’s a wonderful sign🌈💗 I was a mess before my first scan couldn’t stop crying so I can’t imagine how you feel xx

Original poster

plantsareglorious · 14/01/2023 20:06

ChloeN · 14/01/2023 18:52

@plantsareglorious good luck tomorrow lovely I’ll be thinking of you! If you’re feeling movements I’m sure that’s a wonderful sign🌈💗 I was a mess before my first scan couldn’t stop crying so I can’t imagine how you feel xx

Every stage feels a hurdle, I don't want to wish this pregnancy away but I am!

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Janefx40 · 14/01/2023 21:34

@plantsareglorious it's so hard. I haven't had as many losses as you but nonetheless the moment when I was told my baby's heart had stopped is just burnt into me. I was alone due to Covid restrictions too. It's more than 2 years ago and still so painful.

I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant and those early scans were really hard. I honestly felt like I was walking to my execution every time. I would just be in hysterical tears before and then just misery as I walked up there. I was scanned a lot too for various reasons.

It helped me to have a gang of (online) pals on my side. Knowing they were walking alone side me made me feel less alone. I also made sure DP was with me every time this time.

Good luck tomorrow. It takes a huge amount of courage to walk into that room. We'll be thinking of you. Let us know how you get on xxx

Janefx40 · 14/01/2023 21:34

I meant that they were "walking along side me"

Original poster

plantsareglorious · 14/01/2023 21:38

Janefx40 · 14/01/2023 21:34

@plantsareglorious it's so hard. I haven't had as many losses as you but nonetheless the moment when I was told my baby's heart had stopped is just burnt into me. I was alone due to Covid restrictions too. It's more than 2 years ago and still so painful.

I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant and those early scans were really hard. I honestly felt like I was walking to my execution every time. I would just be in hysterical tears before and then just misery as I walked up there. I was scanned a lot too for various reasons.

It helped me to have a gang of (online) pals on my side. Knowing they were walking alone side me made me feel less alone. I also made sure DP was with me every time this time.

Good luck tomorrow. It takes a huge amount of courage to walk into that room. We'll be thinking of you. Let us know how you get on xxx

I know so many have been through it, so many of us. It's just so exhausting isn't it. People just don't get it in real life though, I mean people around me. They think I'm barmy for not going to scans, I'm mentally unwell etc....I'm just fucking scared!
And then it's all the what ifs, 'well if it is ok, maybe it's got a life limiting illness or maybe I'll have to TFMRs' it's one thing after the other, I'm so tired. I've had really awful morning sickness as well, so that's not helping but I guess it's good I feel so pregnant. I've not had any blood at all yet either, which is another positive.
Thanks for saying about the courage thing, I didn't think about that.

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PoinsettiaPosturing · 14/01/2023 21:51

I'm and mentally holding your hand, I'm on pregnancy number 7 with 2 living DC, am 17 weeks and 10 scans in so far, but I still don't feel like pregnancy = baby. For those of us who know recurrent loss, I don't think pregnancy is anything other than a state of anxiety. Please, if you can, reach out to Tommys & see if they can get you a scan booked. It's so important & if you're 17+ weeks, the chances of loss are now less than 1 in 200

Original poster

plantsareglorious · 15/01/2023 08:33

PoinsettiaPosturing · 14/01/2023 21:51

I'm and mentally holding your hand, I'm on pregnancy number 7 with 2 living DC, am 17 weeks and 10 scans in so far, but I still don't feel like pregnancy = baby. For those of us who know recurrent loss, I don't think pregnancy is anything other than a state of anxiety. Please, if you can, reach out to Tommys & see if they can get you a scan booked. It's so important & if you're 17+ weeks, the chances of loss are now less than 1 in 200

Thank you! It helps. Yes tommys have me booked in this week, they were so kind when I spoke to them. I've a private one booked today so my partner can attend as he can't make the one in the week (not his fault, work stuff and after so many losses it's hard to keep getting time off in his role).

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chasingtherainbow1 · 15/01/2023 12:05

@plantsareglorious good luck for the scan today, really hoping it goes well for you x

Original poster

plantsareglorious · 15/01/2023 18:35

It went good thanks! It was dancing around and very active...
I arrived this am and got the wrong day 😭 I was so upset but found a slot at another clinic. I was not expecting it to be ok. Thank you everyone for the support, I appreciate it ❤️

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Janefx40 · 15/01/2023 21:20

@plantsareglorious yay! That's great news. Well done for getting through it - it's not easy.

Did they say how far along they think you are? You weren't sure.

So pleased for you xxx

chasingtherainbow1 · 15/01/2023 22:32

@plantsareglorious aww yay I'm so glad to hear it went okay! So pleased for you x

Original poster

plantsareglorious · 16/01/2023 18:35

Yes, just 4 months (just at the start of it) ☺️

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LetsDoThis2023 · 16/01/2023 18:46

Amazing news! Good luck OP! 🎉🤞XXX