Should I stay with my unclean father, or tell him I'm pregnant?

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! I recently found out I'm pregnant (about six weeks). I live in UK midlands but my father, whom I love dearly, lives in the south. Because the UK dental system is as it is, the only dentist I can get is one near my father, and I have a few tooth issues that desperately need sorting.

I say this, because this means I have to stay with him for a few days every time I have an appointment. I'm here now and will be until Saturday at the earliest. He and my brother live in the house, are both smokers, and do not clean the house at all. There's mess, dust, and filth everywhere. My dad is a hoarder that expresses a genuine desire to improve, but works insane hours and so just gets the washing up and laundry done, nothing else. My brother is a lazy git who will allow food to go mouldy in his room if given the chance.

I'm genuinely worried about my baby's health staying here a few nights, am I right to be concerned? I didn't want to tell my dad so early, but do you think it'd help if I did? He smokes in the kitchen directly under my bedroom, and I don't really know what to do here. I can't afford a hotel nearby, and train strikes have made getting here/going home difficult and unreliable.

What would you recommend? TIA!

The most it will do is make you feel sick ,it won't damage your baby especially of you have your bedroom window open. If you tell them you're pregnant are they likely to smoke outside?

The smoking is the problem for the pregnancy I think - I can’t remember dirt being a problem unless it’s particular kinds of animal dirt found on farms (from memory). I would tell them you are pregnant and ask if they would mind smoking outside and apologise profusely and buy them a bottle or something to say thanks.

And then get on the phone and do another ring around of local dentists - some waiting lists are moving. That will help you be less dependent on them doing things for your baby’s health which they may resent/not do.

I personally would have the dental treatment and either stay in a hotel or go home. I would not be exposing by baby to the cigarette smoke that will be in every fibre of the house.
Even if they cleaned and went outside I wouldn’t stay there, as the toxins from the smoke will still be present.

congratulations on your pregnancy.

harm from smoke arises from long term exposure, not just one or two days. and your baby can also be harmed if your teeth aren't fixed and your health suffers from that.

stay with your dad for a few days. keep windows open or wear a covid-mask if possible. get the teeth done. the baby will be fine.

It’s also useful to know that dental treatment isn’t free until you have a matB1 from your midwife which is usually given at 20 weeks, so you have time to find a local dentist if you are waiting for the free treatment.

This isn't correct. Free dental care (if you can get it) is accessed with a Maternity Exemption form, which can be obtained with support from a doctor or midwife from the beginning of pregnancy. It's nothing to do with the MatB1.

www.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/check-if-you-have-nhs-exemption/maternity-exemption-certificates

@MasterCherry exactly, they are 2 separate things