What should I do?

[Galaxy56]

Hi all, I took a positive pregnancy test last week and it was positive, it was a very clear result and we took multiple tests and now today it's negative. I have been bleeding quite heavy but nothing to be concerned about. I rang the early pregnancy assessment unit and they said they couldn't scan me as I was 5 weeks 3 days and I'd need to be 6 weeks but mentioned it may be a chemical pregnancy and that was it.

I had told work l was pregnant due to the nature of my job being dangerous and because I had suffered a miscarriage last year at 9 weeks. I feel so naive and stupid for getting my hopes up and telling my boss so early. I feel guilty that I have done something wrong and I just can't face going to work and telling them this has happened again. I just feel so low about it all. I'm also aware it could have been further along which would have been worse to experience again, and some people may say that it wasn't even a real miscarriage but we were so excited about this and after a loss last year it was something we had really got our hopes up for. Am I being stupid for thinking I could get a sick note? Would my GP even give me a sick note and what would I even say?

Oh @Galaxy56 so sorry you’re having to go through this. A loss is a loss at any stage so please don’t let anyone make you feel like your upset isn’t valid. Could you self-certificate for 7 days and see how you’re feeling after that?

You can self certify absence for up to 7 days without a sick note, if you think you'll need longer speak to your GP and ask. Tell your employer that it's pregnancy related sick leave and it's a private and confidential as you have suffered another loss. Make sure GP has noted down your CP on your record as they count as MC, and if you have 3 consecutive MC (hopefully not) then you'll be able to seek further support from GP for TTC, tests etc.

I'm sorry for your loss, it's so hard when you've experienced losses, at any stage. Take the time you need.

It does sound like a chemical especially if you’ve been bleeding and you’re now testing negative 🥺 So sorry you’re going through this, it’s an awful feeling.

You being upset is completely valid! It’s a miscarriage and that was your baby, you have every right to be heartbroken things didn’t work out. I’d speak to your doctor and ask about having a note for some time off to process what’s happened, you can go off sick anyway without a sick note for 7 days but if you need more I don’t see why they wouldn’t.

thank you, we had really gotten our hopes up so I feel crappy :( I was going to self certify but my company has a policy that we don’t get paid if we self certify for the first 7 days not that I’m entirely bothered about losing pay plus I feel like I can’t face telling my boss it has happened for a second time and handing the note in will give me breathing space. We are low on staff so I feel guilty for taking time off plus I got moaned at for taking my child for a 30 mins GP appointment so I guess I’m just worried about everything and I feel like a sick note would cover that.

Sounds like you need a more reasonable employer if they grown about you taking your child to a medical appt!

Is the 7-day no pay policy only if you self-certify or for the first 7 days of any absence?

It’s just for the first seven days in general. If I where to hand a note in from the first day without self certifying they would pay me. As I say if I lose pay I’m not too bothered although it wouldn’t be great. The note would help as I could just hand it which would state the reason for being off and I could then have breathing space without being emailed every other day. I agree but that’s another story!

My boss isn’t very understanding, it’s a business to her so if people are off she isn’t happy which is fair. Physically I feel crappy but I can’t manage that but mentally I feel worse, I feel more embarrassed that I got my hopes up and I was so excited. I even went out and bought decaffeinated coffee, ordered my folic acid etc as I was hopeful that last years miscarriage was a one off. It doesn’t help that everyone keeps saying when are you having another child! I have a 7 year old and people love to comment that he needs a sister or brother but it hits harder when your are trying and it’s not happening.

I meant to say I can manage that not can’t

Then call your GP and ask, no harm in asking, but be prepared in case they say no or not yet to giving you a sick note.

Can you email or message your employer to say why you're off? A short and to the point message "I've suffered another pregnancy loss. I'll be off sick x-days while I recover and I appreciate your discretion. I've contacted my GP. Thank you for your understanding at this difficult time."

You have nothing to feel embarrassed about.

Good luck