Anxiety telling work

[OBeatrix]

Hi all,
I'm hoping for some advice please.
I'm 8 weeks pregnant with baby no.6.
Ever since getting my BFP, instead of feeling happy & excited. I'm totally stressed and anxious about telling work. I've thought about nothing but, to the point I'm struggling too sleep.
I work 2 roles for the same company (civil service). I have 2 separate employment contracts/managers.
I've been with company for over 10 years in first role and started second role in December 2021.
I've been on mat leave in 2019 and 2021 but only in first role.
In Sep 22 I was signed off from both roles for 3 months.
I have recently gone back to work and feel like I have let everyone down. I've occasionally had comments like "you're never here" hahaha "thinking of having any more than" hahaha.
As I am classed as high risk my MW has booked me in for an urgent appointment next Wednesday (also an important work meeting on this day) so manager will not look at me missing it favourably.
I'm stuck as to how and when to tell them. I feel so scared and almost embarrassed.
I'm feeling so anxious of going into work in Monday and would much rather work from home. I feel like I can't face anyone at work.
I don't know what to do?
This is really taking a hit on my health. Do any of you lovely people have any advice please?
Sorry for the long post and TIA.

My circumstances are slightly different but I completely understand the anxiety in telling work. I am 10 weeks pregnant with baby #2, and had difficult conversations at work this week. Surprisingly, it went a lot better than I thought.
Unfortunately you cannot change other people's clumsy comments, but you can change your attitude to them. Put on your poker face, and do what's best for you and your baby. It's up to you when to tell them, please don't feel pressured into doing before you are ready/have to. I fessed up before my 12 week scan as I know it would make my life easier and hopefully will be beneficial to the employer as they will have more time to plan for mat leave cover.
For me, next 6 months or so will tell wether my honesty is best policy approach worked (I am facing a contract change, interviews and all, planned and expected, but pregnancy certainly adds a new dimension).

I don't really have any advice as such but just wanted to say that home is where you heart is, and where your worth is wholly appreciated. Work is work, sure you have important connections but they will always have limitations. It's so hard to detach when you've worked at the same place forever... but prioritise your home life.

Congratulations as well, that's fantastic news!!

In my opinion you earned your maternity leave, being with same company 10 years, even of it's your third pregnancy, you are loyal worker. The only thing is as you signed off work and started again not so long ago, you better check if you are entitled to maternity leave.
People are judgemental but to be fair there are lots of people taking advantage. Like I had girl at work who started new role and coincidentally got pregnant after 3 months probation period, then she never came back to work.

Thankyou for your replies everyone.
@UsernameNotPresent congratulations on your pegnancy. How did you tell them face to face or via email/phone call?

@callmesophia Thankyou and I agree you are right.

@Moni81 many thanks for your reply. I was signed off sick. So I don't believe that would affect mat leave.
Yes alot of people taking advantage and the ones that do aren't bothered.
I've got full intention of going back to both roles after baby is born.
I think I'm going to request working from home on Monday and tell my manager over the phone.
I'm not even sure if this will be granted as I will need to message her before 6am as we don't start work till 7. And she's not the best at replying to text messages out of working hours which I don't blame her for. Just feeling a bit meh. 😕

Op, good luck for Monday. It will be ok.
I told them face to face.

Thankyou so much. Can't really speak to anyone else as such early days so I really appreciate it. I will keep you guys updated I'm actually struggling to breathe at the thought of it.

@OBeatrix I would tell your manager face to face.
You can better tell how it’s received and address any concerns you have there and then given they’ve made the time for the face to face meeting.

@firsttimelondonmummy many thanks for your reply. I can't bring myself to tell her f2f. I'm genuinely really scared this time round my anxiety is really heightened and even the thought of telling makes my breathing go all funny. I can't even start to understand why I am feeling so nervous and anxious. In the grand scheme of things my managers not actually a monster she is very pokerface though so can't ever tell what she is thinking. Oh God less than 24 hours absolutely dreading it. 😫

How did you get on OP?

Hi @callmesophia , I bottled it. I ended up going into the office and could just not bring myself to tell. 😔

I have requested home working tomorrow whicb has been.approved and arranged a teams meeting to discuss some changes within the office so may let it slip then. I'll be more comfortable as it virtual and not f2f as such.

Wish me luck. I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks

Hi all, so I bit the bullet and told manager 1 this afternoon during a teams call. As I expected no congrats nothing just a "oh how far are you" I said a couple of weeks but will know better after my scan.
She wasn't happy about my appointment tomorrow and requested I take holiday leave to which I replied am i not entitled to time off for my appointments so she ummed and arred and said she would get back to me. Emailed me back saying she has authorised my leave as medical appointment.
Still need to tell 2nd manager but I'm a tiny bit less worried think I may drop him an email at some point this week. Oh the joys 😊

@OBeatrix she sounds horrible! Sorry you have to work under such an awful manager 😔

She sounds like an absolute bell end. There's no way I'd be returning to work with that after maternity leave. I couldn't imagine having that kind of response when delivering such news, this is my fourth and each time I've told line managers the news they've been super happy and supportive.

Well done for being brave, good luck with the second manager x

@callmesophia ditto! I don’t know how people work for companies like that.
It’s my first but my work couldn’t have been happier for me.

@OBeatrix I’d say find somewhere that values you at the end of your mat leave ❤️

@firsttimelondonmummy @callmesophia many thanks for taking your time to message.

Yes I think I will be looking for an alternative employment after mat leave as could not be dealing with the "jokey" comments.

Thanks again. X