Honest opinion on having 2 under 2?!

[Pinkpong1]

Hi, please no judging.

I had my son just over 6 months ago and found out on Wednesday that I am pregnant again. My son currently wakes up twice through the night sometimes more and I’m so scared I won’t be able to cope.

If he slept through I would be fine but there’s the risk he won’t and it’s putting me off.

please give me your stories of 2 under 2 the good and the bad as I don’t know what to expect and it’s make me incredibly anxious and scared!

I became pregnant when my eldest was 8 months. It wasn't plain sailing, but wasn't awful either to be honest.

By the time of the second birth, first was walking, communicating, and sleeping well.

A double buggy and local park made for fresh air, exercise and tiredness for all of us, second seemed to sleep better... or maybe I was so tuckered out I just didn't notice!

Once the youngest started toddling about, life got easier as they entertained each other more, maybe we were lucky they muddled along well together.

Congratulations! I had a bigger gap of 22 months. I can’t lie, I found the first year hard but it was lockdown, my husband was working away so I was alone with both for long periods and my second was a terrible sleeper. They’re now 2 and 4 and while it’s still not a walk in the park, it’s so much easier and I love the bond they have. They share a room now and are really good friends. The experience has put me off having a third though!

Also, I cannot stress this enough. GET A DOUBLE BUGGY AND GET OUTSIDE!

I have a 8 month old and 20 month old and it’s hell lol. Wouldn’t recommend it to anyone but you’re already pregnant so that’s not helpful at all. I have a double buggy and I get outside everyday and it’s still hell

We had a 14 month gap, youngest one had undiagnosed silent reflux which was hell but the age gap itself was good.

Absolutely a double buggy and her outside and to toddler groups etc

Hard at first but in the longer term, it's actually easier having children closer in age and at the same stage.

I didn't have two under two for long, but I found it just fine. I was a SAHM at the time, so that probably helped. I went on to have three under five for a while, so I guess it wasn't that bad, since I chose that. I guess the needs of every child and parent are different, but I think it's been good to have the close age gap over the years. For my family anyway.

Soul destroyingly hard work

then they started pre-school/ school and now it's great because they are both into the same sorts of things, can play as a group when they have friends over, share clothes/ school uniform, watch the same sorts of tv shows, enjoy the same sorts of day trips.

they are best friends and partners in crime

Congratulations!
I am way further down the road so just wanted to give my perspective.

Mine are 18 months apart, the baby days were tricky and I dont remember much to be honest but now it's blissful. They are 10 and 11 and even though they are a boy and girl they get on like a house on fire, they are into the same sorts of things and will watch the same TV, play the same games and I don't have to get so involved anymore because they are happy being together without much bickering.

I have friends with DC 3 or 4 years apart and they always moan that their kids never want to play together or that when they book activities/go on holiday etc their kids are at different stages so don't want to/cant do the same things, but ive never had that issue.

And I agree with pps that a double buggy is a must to start with although my oldest was happier on a buggy board from around 20 months so she could hop off and have a toddle.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! It is really a blessing to have conceived your second so easily. I do understand your fears however.
I was 39 conceiving my first son, and then conceived my second son when I was 40, and when my first was only five months old. It was terrifying to wonder how I would manage when my husband worked extremely long hours, and I had zero family support, plus two c-sections, and had moved to a new area. However, I coped well, and tbh, they both had daytime naps at the same time, which allowed me to catch up on sleep. They were (and still are) great playmates, and both participate in the same after-school activities which makes life less hectic. I also had a wonderful double buggy, (out n about), which made life easier, and helped with the daytime naps.
Try to be positive, and know that the tricky times will eventually pass. It really does go by quickly, so try to embrace this time.

I had 3 under two for four months 😱 - as others have said, it’s mad at first but I wanted mine close together (wasn’t counting on twins!) and as they get older it’s good that you can take them all eg to soft play or the farm and they’re all interested, rather than having one bored and too old for it.

Yes it’s hard, but I think I’d have found it harder to have totally left behind the nappies stage and then have to go back and start it all again. Good luck! - you’ll be grand.

I’ve got 15 months between my oldest two. By the time younger one was born older one was in a very good sleep routine (2 sleeps in day, slept through at night) which really helped. We got out everyday and found groups that suited both (music group which was pay as you go, baby gym). I struggled the first few weeks as I had an emergency c-section but it got much easier and they played very well together.

16 months between my first 2 kids - First 9 months was tough. Then was much easier. Same playgroups, same friends, similar activities e.g. one swim group class apart. Small village school so lots of overlap between year groups and hobbies.

Next 2 kids, only 15 months part. Same story but older kids were great at helping out and they all do get on brilliantly now as adults. They're 28, 27, 20 and 19 now. They bring so much fun, laughter and energy to our home and all even go out on the razz together at Christmas etc,

No idea how I had the energy for it all, but I did and I loved being a Mum of many. They all stayed for Christmas this year and it was a lovely reminder of what the house used to be like, full of laughter and noise and chaos. lol

I had two under two. It seemed normal and was planned that way. My friends all seem to have had second babies at the same time - 20 months apart. It was fine.

My daughter is only 11 weeks and my sons nearly 2 - it's been okay, she's just kinda slotted in to our routine.

However I must mention my son goes to childminders 4 days a week 8-5 and that really helps obviously so might not be an accurate statement.

I have a 15 month age gap with ours and here's my honest thoughts.
You forget how easy newborns are, sleep, eat, sleep ear, sleep eat.
For your own sanity get out of the house early or something will always come up, the fresh air is good for you and them.
We done sleep training with my eldest when he was about 9/10 months as we wanted to stop rocking him to sleep. He's been a great sleeper since but has his phases.
At some point they will tag team you, you'll get one to sleep the other will wake and so on.
You can't do this alone and your partner needs to do his shifts and help regardless of work the next day.
Be prepared with food for the eldest and just give them the snack, pick your battles.
Shower early before partner goes to work.
Baby phase was easy, now the youngest is walking and moody it's harder mentally.

I've loved having 2u2 it's been fab, but both of mine are good sleepers and were from really early on.

There is a facebook 2u2 support group if you are looking for women in the same boat!

Double buggy is a must!

Hi, I need opinions and/or advise.
I'm 24 ( 25 this year)
I REALLY want a child. It actually aches when I see, hear or hold a child. I have always wanted to be a mum. I'm at the stage in life where I'm worrying and stressing about never being able to become a mum.
Here's my situation...
I'm a single woman, I'm not looking for a relationship nor am I interested in falling in love or having a " life partner". ( I'm sure these days there is a name for how I feel about being in a relationship). Anyway...
I have depression and anxiety which I have suffered with since I was like 16 years old. My anxiety got so bad at one point that I couldn't leave the house alone. I am better than that now but I'm still unable to work and socialise in big crowds without someone with me. Obviously because of this I am currently jobless. I'm also currently still living at home with my dad.
I have been thinking about my situation for a good year and a half every day and every night. I was thinking about getting a donor and doing at home insemination. This of course would mean I would be a single mum.
I just want people to give me some of their opinions and/or advice. I feel so selfish for wanting to bring a child into the world knowing they would only ever have 1 parent. I know I can give the child everything they would ever need but I'm just not sure what to do.
Thank you for any opinions and advice given.

I posted too soon.

That's mainly the mat leave bit, will you go back to work? Childcare for 2 is expensive! We pay avg £2500 per month for mon to fri 8-6 and that's with the cheapest childminder in our area who offers sibling discount and tax free childcare.

Youngest gets pretty much everything passed down from his brother and I buy their clothes off vinted to save money and really, they are all great quality.

Life is tough financially and we don't go out and have cut back on everything, we struggle a lot on that side of things.

Would I change anything? Absolutely not x

23 months between mine and I adore it 🥰

You need to start your own thread for this. This is about having two children under the age of two.

Hi, yeah I just realised after I posted it. It doesn't seem to be letting me start a thread and I got a little confused. Sorry about that 😕

My children are 16 months apart in age. We planned it this way. My first baby was a dream and I really enjoyed her babyhood but my second had reflux and colic so I found him very hard with the constant screaming. My oldest didn’t walk until she was nearly two either so getting anywhere that I couldn’t take the double pram was virtually impossible on my own. If it weren’t for that and the reflux though, it would have been fine.

you are always going to get issues and of course it is hard work at first. But even in the toughest of moments, I have never regretted the age gap.

they are 5 and 6 now and they have always been best friends. They are growing up together and our family holidays/days out work for both of them. They share toys and love the same things, despite being a boy and girl.

many of my friends left a 2-3 year gap and I think they had a much harder time adjusting to the second baby than I did. Their toddlers would struggle with jealousy and I know this made my friends feel very guilty. My oldest was too young to really understand when her brother was born.

its lovely having children so close in age, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Yes there will be tough times but you can get through them and your giving your oldest the wonderful gift of a sibling.

A close friend had hers 15 months apart and loved it. They are grown up now but still the best of friends.

DS had a classmate who was a twin with slightly younger twin siblings. The parents had 4 under 2 for a few months, the mum still looked exhausted once they had all started school.

I loved it. The first bit was hard but eldest wasn't the most active crazy toddler which helped. The first few years are tough but there's a massive pay off when they're able to play together and close enough in age that they become proper chums. My youngest just got to the stage of being able to play at the start of lockdown and I felt very lucky they had each other. Two of my school friends had close aged siblings and we were all besties with a big gang. All still close now too. I couldn't face doing all the baby thing again now as it is intense but I'm glad I got it out of way and now and can focus on myself and my career again.

That said, if you're not feeling ready that's obviously fine. You have to do what's right for you.