First Trimester - Angry and Hateful…is this normal?

[ActingUp]

Hi 👋🏻 This is my second pregnancy - DS1 is 13. I’m 7 weeks and feel like I hate everyone (apart from my daughter). Our marriage is happy, my career successful and health good. I’m 38. I don’t recall this sense of dread and anxiety in pregnancy 1 and it’s daily, and awful! I don’t want my husband to touch or even be near me, and I feel like I don’t want the baby even though we’ve been trying for ages and I was ecstatic when I found out we were expecting. What’s going on? Is this just hormones???

Oh you poor thing. Second time around is exhausting. I found the first trimester really hard, not being able to tell people and get support when it is most needed. Now at week 16 I'm feeling generally great, much more energy and less likely to consider divorce on a daily basis!!! This will pass 🙏and if it doesn't in a couple of weeks, reach out to a midwife/ GP/ friend for mental health support.

This happened to me!!! I planned my second also ( currently 30 weeks). For me it didn't start until about 12 weeks, I couldn't stand my partner at all, everything about him down to his scent would really piss me off. I didn't even want to be touched by him at all. I also didn't feel any attachment at all towards the baby and when people would mention the pregnancy it would annoy me, this completely disappeared after the 20week scan and I saw baby. It felt more real then. I had a constant bad attitude. I would stay it has started to ware off a bit now and I'm just feeling more anxious and emotional than hateful. I really empathise with you. It's so hard. I would assume it's just a bunch of hormones and I'm also worried about how the dynamic with me and my first child will change due to the baby. Don't be too hard on yourself, it will pass

@sleepymama3 - thank you for your support - I really appreciate this. It's scary because we want this baby so much and now it's coming I'm terrified of what it will do to our happy family life, and fear these feelings of lovelessness toward my husband. Thanks hormones! On paper, I know it'll be fine - I've raised a well adjusted teenager who I bought up alone for the first 7 years, and I also know I love and respect my husband, and if things go wrong we'll hit up some marriage counselling. I miss intimacy as well! I have zero libido right now and I doubt he'd come near me anyway because I'm being so uncharacteristically spiteful atm. I just wish these feelings would bugger off so I can enjoy being pregnant again.

Thank you @cantfunctionatall - I hope you're feeling better today. I feel like once I see the scan I might be a bit more rational but these off-the-scale emotions are horrendous! Reaching out to people on here has helped massively, and so has getting out of the house for a walk through the park, and venting into a journal this morning over a deliciously unhealthy cooked breakfast (not a regular thing - just needed to be un-angelic for a few hours). Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I guess we all have to remember how short term it is and to look after ourselves in the meantime. Can you go and get yourself some nice flowers this afternoon, or a nice treat thing to take edge off the unnerving emotions?

Yes, me too! I’m generally irritable and will sometimes have these hot flashes of intense anger when I get really wound up. I honestly felt like smashing a glass or something at times just to get it out.
I also have a very active two year old who has just given up napping and I’m having a real struggle to be patient with - I know it’s not his fault bless him, but as soon as he whines it’s just like nails down a chalkboard for me. I hate feeling this way, but luckily it is starting to ease a bit as I’m progressing in trimester 2.

Interestingly, I didn’t have this in my first pregnancy with my son. I know this baby is a girl and that I had high HCG hormone levels at 12 weeks, so wonder if that has something to do with it?

I’ve found getting a bit of me/relaxation time does help me feel a bit calmer, and less likely to pick fights with my husband. Hope you manage to get some too.

Thanks @Mimmi22 Good to hear it's easing a bit in your second trimester. I have a teenager, who's very independent - I can only imagine what it's like managing this hormone fizz with a toddler around.

Relaxing/me-time sounds ideal. I think I need to be more forthright in setting this time aside. I hope you can do that too! Thank you for your support - it always helps knowing we're not alone 😊