How will I know when I am in labour?

[ThePFJ]

I am a first time mum to be at 31 weeks pregnant. I have BH contractions (the non painful ones) on and off at the moment.

Everywhere I read about going into labour the story is slightly different. Is the show supposed to be before the contractions/waters breaking? And how long before? Will my waters break and is that when I should be calling the midwife/going into hospital? Or do I wait until my contractions are x mins apart before I do something??

I suppose my nerves aren't helping and I have a funny feeling I'll 'know' when to go into hospital.. but what if I don't?? I have an ante-natal class coming up in a few weeks, so hopefully some of my fears will be alayed there. But please, has anyone got any advice or tips for me please? Thanks xxx

It is different for everyone and we can only tell you about our experiences:

I did not have a show.
My waters broke in the middle of the night but no contractions. Then they came within 30 minutes - 3 mins apart, lasting 1 minute, which is when I had been told to call the hospital. DS was born about 5 hrs later.

Your ante-natal classes will help you know what to look for.

Meant to say Good luck and congratulations.

You will know when you are in labour eventually because it will hurt and there will be no doubts!

Shows can happen any time from a couple of weeks before labour to during labour. I wasn't aware of having one with either of my two.

Waters can break before labour starts (as mine did with DS1) and it can be hours before contractions start. If your waters go it is best to talk to a midwife for advice because once your waters have gone there is a chance of infection if you don't deliver within 72 hours (advice varies on exactly how long) and they will want to keep an eye on you even if they don't admit you immediately.

However, waters can go any time in labour too. Mine went at the beginning of the 2nd stage with DS2. Sometimes they don't go at all so the midwife has to break them.

I think the advice is to call the midwife when you start having regular contractions but generally they won't want you to come in before your contractions are about 5 minutes apart. However, if you feel you aren't coping with the pain I would go in because you might be more advanced than they suspect. They can always send you back home if it is too soon!

I don't know about anybody else but on both occasions with mine I have been told that I don't sound very advanced and that I don't need to come in yet. The first time I was in pain and said I would go the labour ward to get checked out anyway (having been in the afternoon before as my waters broke) and I found I was 5cms so in established labour.

Second time, I was having contractions but they said it sounded like early days - I didn't hurry and ended up having DS2 at home 40 minutes later. You will know yourself when things have really got going so trust your instincts.

The ante natal classes should help you feel more confident though.

Good luck with your baby

I didn't have a show.
Waters didn't break.

It hurts quite a lot - that's how I knew.

If you are a first timer, it is pretty unlikely that you will fail to notice that you are in labour before the baby is born . If you are lucky you might not notice the early (latent) phase, but by the time you are at around 7cm, first time, believe me, unless you are one of those women who give birth without really noticing (in which case you can make money by selling your story to women's magazine) believe me, you will almost certainly know.

Re the waters breaking-am sorry to be pedantic here, but women are very often told that the mw has to break the waters after a certain time, etc. This is really not true, and IMO, unless of course it is thought that something is actually wrong, worth getting a second opinion over, because as soon as the waters are broken, the risk of infection increases massively. And this puts the labour on a rigid clock-you then have to deliver within a certain period of time- which really, you don't want.

Ds was born in his caul (waters intact), with dd they made a great fuss about breaking the waters when she was being slow to emerge. I said no, they broke just before she was born (36 sodding hours later ). BUT because it was a back-to-back labour, I think breaking the waters would not have made much difference to the timescale?

That was an interesting read Filly. I wonder if the same was true 8 years ago. I certainly didn't know of that and would have objected if I did. DD2 was born in an hour - from labour pains to having me on my chest. 36 hours sounds like a long time - maybe breaking waters speeds it on a bit? Even so, in retrospect I'd rather of had a slow, safe labour than a fast (and quite painful) one (she ended up in SCBU).

the thing with dd is that there was a particular reason for the labour being long-she was back-to-back

they didn't actually CHECK for this (apparently it is easy enough, you can feel the limbs at the front but no one actually tried this )

Instead they just looked at my chart, said "oh,you've been in labour for a long time now, lets get out the crochet hook"

What really pissed me off was that I had to be very firm and assertive and really, I didn't want to be at that stage. I do stuff with the NCT so i know some of this stuff, if I hadn't, I would have had a much less lovely experience, I think.

otoh, after having a big barney with them over this (MY sodding fanjo, I decide what goes in there) they were actually quite happy to transfer me to the mlu at 8 cm dilated, which apparently had never before been done

(oh and I agree that sometimes it is useful to break the waters, definately.

But I also think that it is just used automatically, and it is then something that can trigger the whole spiral of medicalisation. Which was something I really didn't want. It should have been OBVIOUS from my chart that I was a lentil weaver...)

I became pretty sure I was in labour when 5 mins after waking up in the night and asking dp for a hot water bottle for some cramps I was on hands and knees throwing up and having continual contractions.

It really is a 'you'll know' thing, which you probably hate hearing but once you've done it it will become your answer to anyone who asks

Thanks everyone so far. I guess I am worried about 'false alarms' and about having the baby at home when I really want to be in the hospital. -Refering to Niecie's post of the hospital telling her it was early days and 40 mins later ..voila one baby.. is exactly the sort of thing that scares me the most.

My inner voice at this point says 'We dont need hospitals! We were made to give birth.. its a natural thing anyway' but then another voice says 'No way.. I need to be near the specialists and the pain drugs!!'

Hang on.. whats a back to back labour??

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I am sorry I must seem really dumb, but nothing I have read, including the standard pregnancy guide the midwife gave me has mentioned a lip/crotchet hook movement. Are these just forceps?

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Really try not to worry - unless you are extremely unusual, you WILL know. Mainly because it bloody hurts. I was in 'latent' labour for 48 hours, and even that hurt quite a lot - I had no doubt that this was 'it'. Had a couple of shows during latent phase, and then waters broke in the middle of the night - they told me to come in straight away, but I wasn't actually taken to the delivery suite for another 12 hours - they put me on the prenatal ward because they didn't think labour was established yet. (By the way, don't be surprised if they don't do an internal - they didn't with me until I finally went down to delivery.)

IMO, don't set too much store by the timing of the contractions - mine never got more frequent than 5 minutes, even in fully established labour (my contractions were also generally rubbish, but that's another story). The reason they finally took me from prenatal ward to delivery was that I was no longer coping very well with the pain, not because the contractions were any closer together. I think they were quite surprised to find that I was already 5cm dilated.

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Sorry The PFJ - I really didn't mean to scare you

He was my second and therefore likely to come a lot faster, if that is any consolation!

Almost always, when babies come that quickly it isn't the mother's first. Honest!

You will know because it HURTS!

There is no strict sequence of events - depends on you. With both my previous labours my contractions started and got strong and close together quite quickly but my waters didn't break until I was at transition stage (ie getting quite close to actually giving birth). I only had an obvious show first time around and that was during labour when I went for a wee - it is not something you can mistake for anything else by the way!

Good luck, you'll be fine and try not to worry!

Its ok Niecie hug you just identified one of my main worries is all. Thanks everyone I feel alot better now.

Its so good to know that all these different stories are whats possible. I really thought your waters had to break first.. so I have learnt alot. If anyone else has a labour story please put it up for me. I love to read them. It's strangely reassuring. Hopefully I am not the only new mum to be who feels like that.

xx

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