Mums with bigger age gaps

[RayahB]

Hi ladies

I'm pregnant with my third child and there will be a 10 year gap 🤦‍♀️

How did you find labour? Did your body still know what to do or was it like your first time all over again?

My last son came really quickly and I don't know if I should expect the same again or be prepared for things to take possibly longer after the 10 year gap.

Please can you give me your stories?

10 years between mine but C Section (pre eclampsia) and I was a 40 something very old mother so I struggled hugely physically.

10 year gap for us is tricky.
Older kid not at all interested in younger especially as they have both got older.
A 20 year old has zero interest or in common with a 10 year old.

What had been absolutely fantastic for me is I felt like it was a practice run with my first, had little idea about what I was doing and allowed mum guilt and anxiety take over BUT for my second HOLY SHIT! Absolutely none of that comes into the equation!
I am free, confident, absolutely loving every single second of watching my second grow up! I get to do it all over again only it’s better, so so much better.

Best of luck op! It’s gonna be a blast!

I've been wondering the exact same thing... I'm pregnant with my 2nd and there's a 13 year age gap 😂 wondered if my body is treating it as a first pregnancy or if it just knows it's a second lol x

I've 10 years between my two, I was 23 first time and 33 second time. Pregnancy was the same but I had the ligament softening much worse with my second. The delivery actually took 30 longer with my second but she was 2lbs 5oz bigger than her sister when born so that was what made the biggest difference. My body still knew what to do and it didn't feel any different other than the longer second stage. Also, as pp said I was much more in control of things the second time and knew what I wanted.

18 years between mine. Both were inductions.
I expected 2nd induction be faster but it wasn't. Midwife said because it was more than 10years between labours, it was like starting again.
With dc1 it was 3 hours from waters breaking until birth, however I was pushing for an hour.
Dc2 my labour didn't start after waters breaking so I had the drip to get it going. It was 8 hours from waters breaking to birth but she was out in 4 pushes. I went from 5cm to 10 cm in about 20 minutes, so really quick.

Both labours were great but I knew what to expect with dc2 which made it easier.

13 year gap. First baby was induction and born 24 hours later, second came on it's own, third and final was a 5 day induction ending in EMCS but I don't think that was related to the gap.

10 year gap and different dad.

The labour was completely different - but then I had another baby 3 years later, and that labour was almost identical to my first one, which was weird.

My info probably won't be hugely helpful to you because I have stupidly long drawn-out labours. But the main thing that I wish I'd known for #2 was that I had memories of what it was like but I didn't really properly remember - so I kept thinking I was prepared and I knew what to do, but the memory of the intensity had faded, I think.

I thought I was using all my coping techniques and then when it got to what felt like the hard part, I was really deep into labour and it was time to switch to the REALLY hardcore coping techniques. However, in reality I had only just got to the hard-ish bit in really early labour! So my helpful/hardcore coping strategies didn't really do anything and then I started spiralling into panic. Asked if it was too late for an epidural, it wasn't (because I was still really early on) but then I couldn't keep still through them putting it in because of the panic, so it was totally ineffective anyway.

10 years between mine. First Labour horrendous and wanted to die, but felt ok after a day or so. Second Labour very short, quick and relatively pain free, but had PPH and ended up near death!

I will say that I had definitely heard the "10 years later = body reacts like a first timer" thing but when I looked into it during that pregnancy, I found absolutely nothing that backed that up.

My second one was faster, but my third was just as long as the first, so the idea that they get shorter the more you have wasn't true for me.

In terms of due date, DS1 was 6 days late, DS2 6 days early, DS3 3 days late. So again DS2 just broke the pattern - he is my unusual child so maybe that's just him!

21 year gap. Although I had an ELCS I still spent around 10 hours in full on labour second time round while I waited for space in theatre.

It was 100% exactly the same as the first, which was a long and drawn out labour ending in many interventions. Hence the ELCS second time around, which I was very glad about.

My consultant had previously said it should be an easier faster labour because my body already "knew what to do". When she realised how long it had been she said "oh in that case it's probably forgotten"

Mentally I was much more prepared and was able to handle it more easily though.

12 years between mine, and like a PP has said a midwife told me it was like my body was doing it for the first time again. I would say it was better as I was more able to advocate for myself and ask for explanations second time round.

20 year gap here. My first pregnancy was extremely stressful due to suspected fetal abnormalities, none of which were actually real.

The second pregnancy was straightforward but I was still traumatised from the first one and felt stressed/worried most of the time. I also ended up being diagnosed with gestational diabetes which I was able to manage well with diet.

Both girls were delivered via C section and I had a very quick and easy recovery with both. Second C section went even better than the first with me losing only 150 mL of blood.

The relationship my two daughters have is more like a mother and daughter relationship than a sibling relationship which is understandable due to a massive age gap.

Also, there is a 10 year gap between my brother and I, but we are very close!

Good Luck OP!

14 years between mine. Pregnancy was harder as I was tireder and developed migraines. Labour was as quick and easier as the second one (three in total) The first was the hard one. I was a lot bigger this time and braxton hicks started around 25 weeks.

Having a child in your late 30's (as a posed to early 20's ) I was a lot tireder, generally found it harder but also much more patient. And confident.

Also agree relationship between younger and older siblings is more like aunt/nephew than brother/sister. But they all love each other. The girls (now 20 and 22) find it hard that they aren't there as much (uni/work) and feel like they miss out sometimes on him growing up.

I have 4, they were 14, 12 and 7 when my last was born. My labours were all natural, 4hrs, 2hrs, 2hrs and the last was 5.5hrs.

Thanks ladies. Looks like it's a mixed bag!

Il be 32 with this one and definitely notice already that I am more tired but then I'm also probably more on the go now.

Looking forward to being much more confident and relaxed this time round. I already feel much calmer and happier to ask for what I want and need.

Guess we will have to wait and see what he has in store for me!

Hi Rayah, I'm in same boat, I have 10 and 13 year old daughters and now just found out I am pregnant at 42🙈 I feel like fish out of water and kind of don't belong to pregnancy world lol

I have a 10 year age gap - was 32 when I had the second -

My Labour was quicker than the first.
First child - 11 minutes
Second child - 4 minutes

I love the big age gap!

Good luck