BFP after MC and feeling alone

8 replies

KG416 · 30/12/2022 10:20

Hi ladies,

This morning I had (a very faint) positive pregnancy test. But I am very early. I feel a bit numb after having had 3 MC since my DD I don’t think my mind is allowing me to process it. This will be my second time on Cyclogest after it didn’t help during my last pregnancy in July.
I’m going to hold off telling my husband until I get a stronger positive in a few days time as I feel like if it all goes wrong then why put him through this too.

Has anyone else ever felt lonely after seeing the positive line after multiple MC?
As delighted as I am it’s overridden with anxious thoughts and a little numbness. I feel so sad that I have lost that initial excitement that previous MC steals from you.

Suppose I’m just looking for someone to tell me I’m not alone in this awful mental torture period of early pregnancy. I’m terrified and I someone understands x

OP posts:

K37529 · 30/12/2022 11:03

Aww this is so tough, sorry I don't have any advice just really hope things go well for you this time ❤️

RaliaMusca · 30/12/2022 11:38

I'm so sorry for your losses. It's understandable that you feel numb as you probably want to protect yourself from further disappointment. I had a MMC in August and when I fell pregnant again shortly after I was excited but terrified. It's been the most anxious time of my life, also because I've had lots of complications this time round. I'm almost 17 weeks now but still struggling to really feel the excitement. But at least I don't spend all day every day worrying any more. It does get better with time. Saying that, I spoke to a bereavement midwife at my hospital and am seeking further councelling now because I feel I have a bit of trauma to work through and want to get back to my old positive self.
I really hope this is your sticky bean. In the meantime, get all the support you need for whatever lies in the future. Ask your midwife, EPU or GP if they offer any councelling. And do tell your husband if you think it would help you. You're in this together after all. Sending you love x

Diamondbabe · 30/12/2022 11:52

I have had two miscarriages and I'm now pregnant again, 10 weeks. I just tried to half ignore the fact I was pregnant so I didn't spend all my time worrying or get my hopes up. It is torture and it does take the happiness away at the start, but I can live with that as I know the joy will come when I hold the baby. I've had to have lots of early scans, I've had one every week as it's helped me to focus on a week at a time. I've also just been telling myself what will be will be, there's no point sat here continually anxious, it might work out ok it might not but I don't want to spend the next 8 months unhappy. That's helped me so I hope it does you also. For now you're pregnant, the odds are in your favour even if it doesn't feel like it x CD s

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 30/12/2022 12:11

You're not alone. I'm 20 weeks and only just getting a bit of excitement rather than just anxiety, anxiety, anxiety!

lifehappens12 · 30/12/2022 14:27

Not lonely but I think unsupported maybe is the right answer. Without sounding bitter my last pregnancy was after two losses. I think people outside just think you must be so happy to be pregnant again but can't even begin to understand the anxiety you are going through.

The only people I felt that got it were people who had lost babies.

Good luck with the pregnancy

Original poster

KG416 · 30/12/2022 19:36

Thank you to each of you for replying, it’s such a comfort to know that I’m not alone but I’m so sorry for each of your losses. 💔
I’m focussing on the positive which is that I’ve seen a BFP again as my GP told me earlier this month that she thought I wasn’t ovulating again yet after the MC in July so to see the line was a huge surprise. I’ll hold on to that moment and try not to think about the ifs and buts that may be around the corner.

Sending every person who has gone through a MC love and hope x x

OP posts:

Original poster

KG416 · 30/12/2022 19:43

@RaliaMusca I’m glad you’ve got counselling available to you. It is a traumatic thing to go through and getting help is so important. I had a MC before my DD and I went to see someone about it and they told me I had never allowed myself to grieve for that life. It’s incredible the amount of help that the right counsellor can give.

@Diamondbabe and @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl wish you all the very best in your pregnancies and hope you have healthy babies in your arms soon. 💖

@lifehappens12 you are absolutely right. The amount of times my MIL makes jokes and comments about getting another grandchild - she must have absolutely no idea the pain it causes me. How can people who know what you’ve been through make such flippant comments?! I don’t think anyone really gets it unless you’ve lived through it.

OP posts:

usedtolovenaps · 30/12/2022 19:50

You're not alone OP ❤You'll probably be feeling anxious for a while and it's normal...
@RaliaMusca could I ask how often you have scans? I am just over 14 weeks, had most recent scan at 12 weeks and constantly worrying if everything is okay. Thinking of getting a scan either next week or the week after. Don't want to have them too often but too anxious to wait until the big scan..

Flip