Miscarriage help please (warning tmi)

[1Namechange2022]

Hello, I found out at 9 weeks (last week) that I was having a miscarriage. I have never had one before... so I have been bleeding, mostly clots etc but today felt alot of pressure so I checked my cervix and it was low with something (i'm assuming the sac) part way out... so the problem is it seems to big to fit, i have read that you dilate during a miscarriage but even so the thought of passing this is awful and then the thought of not passing it is even worse.

I went for a walk today and tried to stay active to help progress things but it's such a horrible feeling that it's just sitting there and I don't know when/if it will come out.

I think what i'm asking is has anyone else experienced this? Did it come naturally? Was it very sore? Did you do anything to speed it up?

I'm sorry I know this is probably a strange post and I really hope I dont upset anyone else with all of the detail, but I would really appreciate any advice or experience because I feel lost, terrified and nauseous at the thought of it all.

Hello OP. I’m so sorry for your loss. I suggest calling your early pregnancy unit for a check up. Wishing you all the best x

I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks. I just felt my waters broke and then I went to sit on the toilet as I wasn't sure what was happening as this was Sunday morning and on the Thursday, I saw the baby bouncing on the screen at dr but doing those days I had contractions. I thought it was a bad stomach. My baby fell out into the toilet, I broke the umbilical cord and my husband put his hand in and reached for it. I use it as I don't know the sex. My heart was broken. This was 5 years ago. It still saddens me. I have had two more children since then but that loss is a loss I have never felt before. I wish you all the best.

So sorry you're going through this OP. I experienced a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2019 and a miscarriage at 12 weeks (mmc so was measuring 9 weeks) in early 2020.

During both of those I miscarried at home and experienced the same as what you're describing - pressure low down, almost like I was sat on a bubble that wanted to burst sometimes.

Both times it did pass naturally. I had a fair bit of pain - are you having really strong contraction type pain (like your uterus is squeezing) in your lower stomach? When the sac and baby did actually pass both times, it was when I bled heaviest and had the most pain, I was sat on the toilet for a few hours both times whilst my body did what it needed to do. If you are able to, I found paracetamol and ibuprofen effective pain relief as per EPU guidance during and for a couple of days after (look on nhs website on how to take both safely). I was also sick from the pain I think, so maybe make sure you've got a sick bucket near you too. Your body will likely feel very sore for a few days afterwards. I found pain would flare up after eating anything in the days after weirdly so always times eating around taking pain relief.

If you feel the process is going on for too long, or you start to bleed extremely heavily and/or start to not feel right like high temp, fever, etc contact 111 or 999 straight away for advice / assistance.

Be sure to rest and do what you feel is right to get through this. Sending lots of hugs 💐

I didn't want to read and run I just wanted to say I'm so sorry lovely x

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I do have a follow up appointment in the EPU this week to talk about intervention which I felt I didn't really want so I was hoping it would pass naturally.

@Lottie917 I am really sorry for you that you had to experience this, twice! The second time must of been so hard with you knowing what was coming, and I hope you got a full term pregnancy at some point too.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me, it really helps.

If you don't mind me asking, do you remember how long it took to reach that point of passing? I have been bleeding for a week now, I had tightenings on Saturday like you described, like less intense labour pains every few minutes but then they stopped that evening and I haven't had them since. Just alot of pressure and cramping now with a little lower back pain (very mild).

@1Namechange2022 I fell pregnant with my son a month after my 2nd miscarriage and luckily carried him to term with little complication, he's a very healthy and active nearly 2 year old and we're so very grateful to have him.

From memory, the first miscarriage I started bleeding at 6 weeks - very light spotting for a week. Which turned to period like bleeding, then much heavier with increasing pain. I had a scan at EPU after initial week of spotting which confirmed baby was in the right place and confirmed heartbeat. I went back for another scan when the bleeding got worse about a week later which they then confirmed I had miscarried which was around 8 weeks. So it took what felt like forever, but once the heavier bleeding and pain set in, the actual passing of my baby, sac, etc, took a couple of hours.

The second time, I had very light spotting at 12 weeks. Obviously panicked based on previous experience and went to EPU, despite my 12 week scan being a few days away, where they confirmed I'd had a missed miscarriage and baby was measuring 9 weeks. The spotting had stopped the rest of that day and the following day - I remember going into work and just trying to carry on as normal. I was in such a daze I didn't know how to process it all. The 2nd time was very sudden and intense. I came home from work, had dinner with DH, stood up to go to the kitchen and my waters broke. It was over in about 4 hours, with a more period like bleed the few days after that.

It sounds like your body is trying to do what it needs to. From what I've read and heard from others' experiences it can be a very on / off process. It's good you have a follow up at EPU - not to scare you at all and I'm sure they've already explained this to you, but they don't like to let expectant management go on for too long and they will keep a close eye on you with follow ups as there is a risk of sepsis and a few other complications that can put your health at risk.

So really do keep an eye on things like your temperature and don't hesitate to seek help if you feel it's come to that.

Also feel free to message me if you want anymore advice or have any further questions. My thoughts are with you and totally understand how you're feeling right now x

@Lottie917 Thank you very much. I felt much better after reading your messages, and I am pleased you have a lovely baby boy now too, congratulations. 💗