Fluid around baby

[Sammyjane1992]

Hi everyone i went for my dating scan last week at 12weeks to find out straight away that my baby was showing fluid on the back of neck 9mm 😭 I was then sent to leeds hospital for further testing (scan) to be told my baby is very poorly with bad heart problems fluid around heart , abdomen and under the skin I am deverstated the doctor said your baby isn’t going to make it full term I can either carry on my pregnancy wait for a misscarriage to happen or terminate my pregnancy has anyone been through this 😭

Yes I have and it was just devastating. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Have you had further testing besides the scan? You can ask for a cvs (they take cells from the placenta) or wait a few more weeks to have an amniocentesis and this should give you a definitive answer as to whether the baby has a chromosomal condition. However my experience (also in Leeds at the fetal medicine unit at LGI) was that the doctor wouldn’t have said that unless it was very clear from the scan or other evidence.

We went on to terminate, it was absolutely horrible but was the best decision for us.

I am booked in next week to terminate but I feel like I can’t do it 😭 I keep thinking what if a miracle happens and everything works out but hearing the words your baby won’t make it has broke me 😢 I’m not even with my ex boyfriend anymore we split up when I was 6 weeks pregnant and he never wanted our baby and he’s not shown any feelings towards anything I just want to wake up from this nightmare 😭

Oh my love I’m so sorry. It’s hard under any circumstances but you sound really alone in it. Take your time, there is no rush and you can change your mind at any time. Ask for more conversations with the doctors or the midwives if you think you need to hear more before you go ahead. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through by a long shot so please know that everything you’re feeling is totally valid. Of course you’re sad, and scared, and unsure, who wouldn’t be in this awful situation. xx

So sorry, I have been through this and unfortunately had to terminate. I won't lie it was the hardest thing I've ever done but ultimately I didn't want my baby to suffer and it was clear she wasn't going to make it. We had the option to have cvs testing but decided to have testing on the placenta after birth instead. Showed our baby had a chromosome problem and would have not been compatible with life 😞 thinking of you x

Hi OP, I'm so, so sorry. It wasn't this diagnosis, but my son had issues with his brain that resulted in us having a TFMR last June.
I just wanted to hop on as I was also under the care of Leeds.
I read that you are booked for your TFMR, so I just wanted to check if you have been told about Forget Me Not Children's Hospice by anyone at the hospital? We were referred to them through Leeds, and I'm not exaggerating when I say I would not have made it through the whole process and the year after losing my son without them. They provide unbelievable support. We felt so alone and confused when we were going through the tfmr, and the hospice helped us through everything (we even took him out of hospital and spent a night at the hospice with him as they have a cool room and a beautiful little apartment for families). Sorry if this is too much to consider, I just know I would have been lost without them. If you want to, please feel free to PM me about anything.
Sending you lots of love ❤️

Yes, with Anencephaly in my firstborn son. Only found out at 20-21 weeks. Went through labour at 21-22 weeks and although it wasn't the most painful thing physically as they gave me plenty of drugs (and I later had 4 healthy children with all the pain that entails) it completely broke my heart. I had the choice of carrying to full term too. I didn't because when they say "not compatible with life" they mean it. They told me the baby might live for a few hours. I knew I would cling on to hope if this was the case. Every situation is different, but having been in similar shoes, I would gather every bit of courage you can, and go through the process with medical help and support. And look to others, friends and family for help too if you can. Sending you hugs, it is an awful thing. x