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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

My husband is being a wa***er

22 replies

finallypregnant · 03/02/2008 12:58

Not much else to say about his behaviour at the moment.

Decided to look at prams today and we're heading to Mothercare shortly. His reaction to the price - no F'ing way.

He keeps referrring back to when his SIL has his neice (she's 26 now!) and that she managed perfectly with a McLaren Buggy - you know the blue and white stripey buggy).

That is the next thing in a long line of "when Caroline had Natalie" comments. It's driving ne nuts. How do I get him to see that we need to buy new and possibly a bit expensive for a few things but others I am willing to have from friends and second hand.

Any tips without causing a fight again would be appreciated!

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tiredemma · 03/02/2008 13:00

My only tip would be to tell him to 'get real'

babies are expensive, he is going to have to deal with it.

But- you can get reasonably priced pushchairs, you dont have to go for the trendy 'top notch' stuff that is around now.

daisynova · 03/02/2008 13:02

Get him onto a baby forum like this one or a review website that shows that it is better to buy a supportive buggy rather than the cheapest version for your child.

TBH my hubby has been a bit similar about all this. I am trying my hardest not to thump him when he says "Why do we need that?" or "My sister didn't do that?". I just gently point out that you have your own way of doing things and that teaching in pre and post maternity care has changed significantly since his niece was born.

Failing that, just thump him and pull the hormones card!

WorzselMummage · 03/02/2008 13:03

I just have to tell my DF what we're having or he always trys to go cheap.

You could try the ' if we dont't get one that i am happy with i am ging to spend the next 3 years whinging about it ' route thats usually enough to scare them in to submission.

seriously.. your going to be the one pushing it, you should be able to choose it.

I sympathise with price though, the one i want is silly money. and i did manage last time with a maclaren so there is NO WAY i am doing it again !

Original poster

finallypregnant · 03/02/2008 13:04

I have tried to explain that to him that as long as it is practical and meets our needs then if it is the cheapest then great!

I am almost at the stage of feeling I should just do the shopping myself but I really want it to be a joint effort.

I should also say that we're by no means wealthy but are doing ok and can afford to get a few bits and pieces new without it breaking the bank. I just don't understand where his ignorance of some things has come from.

Wish me luck on my shopping adventure this afternoon!

OP posts:

kayzr · 03/02/2008 13:05

My dh was the same but I got round him by getting one that did everything. Car seat, carry cot, pushchair. You could use it as a moses basket and high chair if you wanted.
But he has just seen a high chair shaped like an egg that is £230 that he wants despite our high chair being fine

freddiesyummymummy · 03/02/2008 13:06

I think the Mclaren is great! - you need the techno xt (i think that's what its called) though for a newborn.....although it is only £150 which is in turn only £50 dearer than the basic buggy.

Might do you remind your DH that regulations have changed in the last 26 years - car seats for example are now a must!!!

thinking about it as are brand new cot matresses for each child (cot death prevention) .

Original poster

finallypregnant · 03/02/2008 13:06

oooh, and I am glad I am not the only one with a "difficult" husband over spending!

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SydenhamGestation · 03/02/2008 16:19

It is interesting to hear all this, because tension enters the air as soon as we mention buggies in my house - in our case, my husband loves buying kit for things like camping, and he wants to be the one who chooses the buggy 'kit'. We've been having talks and I think I've managed to make him realise that I'm not trying to take over his patch but like someone else has said, I'll be the one pushing it so i don't want some kind of 20kg monster, or a flimsy frame, or one I don't understand how to fold up, or whatever. It has to be right for both of us to use. Might need to bring in a negotiator at some point if we can't agree to compromise. In a way it's a good thing as he sees it as his way to be part of the preparations for the baby. Unfortunately not so interested in my suggestions that he could contribute by painting the baby's room.

loopielou · 03/02/2008 16:39

Poor you! I got my pram from babies r us and it included footmuff, raincover, car seat and base, large shopping basket and even shows the time and temp!!! It cost under £200. I found them cheaper than mothercare. A good website to try is kiddiecare.co.uk they have great deals on.

colditz · 03/02/2008 16:43

"I'm not Caroline, and I'm not having Natalie, and we are not doing it like she did because I think she did it wrong."

PurlyQueen · 03/02/2008 17:29

ha ha - light touchpaper and stand well back

crokky · 03/02/2008 17:35

A buggy that doesn't suit your needs is a huge huge PITA. Plenty of mums (myself included) have got 2 buggys and some have got loads more . Whether this is weight/difficult to get in car/difficult to manoevre or whatever, it is an item you use daily and it is best to get it right!

crokky · 03/02/2008 17:37

And you can tell your DH that you'll keep all the new stuff in good condition and eBay it when finished with it to get some return on the cash.

crokky · 03/02/2008 17:38

Oh and read the product reviews on mumsnet prior to buying

bookwormmum · 03/02/2008 17:48

I tried to get dd's father interested in prams etc but he only looked at the hceapest ones going. In the end he told me to choose whatever I wanted and to send him the bill. I bought a Mothercare own-brand 2-1 pram but made sure I splashed out on the matching cosytoes, cover, sun canopy and rain cover plus changing bag. I was able to use it as a moses basket though and dd used to lie in it in the daytime as a newborn, on or off the chassis. It was worth it's weight in gold.

trishpops · 03/02/2008 19:35

i have slightly different prob with my dp, he's happy to get quality things for our baby but getting him to actually THROW AWAY SOME OF HIS OLD SHIT THAT HAS BEEN IN BOXES/PLASTIC BAGS FOR 5 YRS SINCE WE MOVED......now that is a battle. sorry can you tell we've been clearing out he spare room today? ;-)

CountessDracula · 03/02/2008 19:43

I agree with him (and Caroline )
I think expensive buggies are a huge waste of money

CountessDracula · 03/02/2008 19:47

how much was the one you wanted?

OLDroot · 03/02/2008 19:49

I agree to cd - expensive pram things last minutes. Everyone I know ends up with a fold up umbrella thingy as soon as they are old enough.

OLDroot · 03/02/2008 19:50

\link{http://www.olivers-baby-care.co.uk/Triumph-Buggy/42pol818p.asp\ this - perfect and lightweight.

OLDroot · 03/02/2008 19:51

this - perfect and lightweight

Original poster

finallypregnant · 03/02/2008 21:47

Well, he surprised me and was very interested when we got chatting to a girl in the store. Got the names of a few to have a look at again tomorrow and also read the review on here when I can find them!

Thanks for your support girls!

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