Overwhelmed :( | Mumsnet

ttc2603 · 2022-12-20T22:06:11+00:00

I don't know what's happened to me the past few days. I feel so overwhelmed that I'm going to become a mom, I'm a ftm so I'm shitting myself and it feels real now as I have just over 6 weeks left. Any tips so I don't feel so overwhelmed or scared :( I felt so ready but now it's getting closer I dont feel prepared at all, I also feel terrible that I'm gonna be a crap mom and not know what I'm doing!

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PointyMcguire · 20/12/2022 22:28

No advice, but just wanted to say you’re not alone. I’ve got a little over 3wks left and am suddenly feeling the fear 😧

Original poster

ttc2603 · 20/12/2022 22:34

@PointyMcguire at least I'm not the only one then that's a relief. It's so exciting yet so nerve wrecking. You don't really think about it until the time gets closer I think that's why it's suddenly hitting us. Congrats on your pregnancy btw!! Wishing you good luck!

OP posts:

Deegibx · 20/12/2022 22:38

Hey OP

My daughter is 8 weeks old and I was in your exact position close to my due date. Broke down in tears a few times about it. I won’t lie, it’s very hard work but it’s honestly the best thing in the world, I can’t describe the love you feel and it makes you so happy. I know it sounds cheesy lol but seriously it’s the hardest but most rewarding and amazing thing ever! Good luck

BackOnTheBandWagon · 20/12/2022 22:53

I genuinely want this to make you feel better, but appreciate it may scare you more - you're not going to know what you're doing. Don't worry, none of us do - even if you've read and listened to all the advice you possibly can, nothing really prepares you for it. You'll get through it though, just take it day by day, and there are some days where you'll need to take it hour by hour. "Everyone fed, nobody dead" is the mantra to live by for a bit.

It'll get a bit easier at six weeks, then again at 12 weeks, and then at some point you'll realise you feel like you know what you're doing, or at least, you're not worried that you won't be able to handle whatever comes up.

Be really really really kind to yourself, and make sure all the people around you are looking after YOU. Especially in the early days - you look after your baby, they look after you.

BackOnTheBandWagon · 20/12/2022 22:55

And call the midwife number if you need to for whatever reason, no matter how minor it may seem. I did a fair few panicky phone calls in the first days when there was something I was worried about, whether with me or DS, and they were always super nice. Good luck - you'll do absolutely fine :)

Original poster

ttc2603 · 20/12/2022 23:08

@Deegibx that's what I keep telling myself and trying to remind myself. I know it'll be the best thing that's ever happened to me and I already love her so so much so I can't imagine how much it is when she's here lol. Don't sound cringe at all haha. Still scares the shit out of me tho lol thanks for the reply, that made me feel better!

OP posts:

Original poster

ttc2603 · 20/12/2022 23:11

@BackOnTheBandWagon thankyou so much! I really needed to hear that. I have convinced myself I need to know everything and be perfect but as you say you learn and start to realise what your doing. As long as I try my best that's all I can do. This has helped so much I'll try not to think about it so much now and just try enjoy the last bit of my pregnancy and then I'll get to meet her! I know it's not gonna be easy but it will be worth it. Really appreciate all the replies and I deffo will call and get in touch with midwife if needed thankyou. :)x

OP posts:

BackOnTheBandWagon · 21/12/2022 12:15

I found the last bit of pregnancy so hard - partly because you feel physically shit, and partly you just want to get on and meet your baby!! Also I was in an NCT group and they were all either ahead of me, or their babies were born on their due dates and mine was 10 days over! So I had all these catch ups with people who had two week old babies when I was still pregnant. I got pretty frustrated and a bit miserable.

In terms of knowing everything - you can't anyway, because your baby will be their own person and different to any other one. That's part of what is so difficult, that you're having to get to know a person who can only communicate by crying and limited body language, so you're doing a lot of guesswork a lot of the time! The guidance can help and running through a checklist (are they hungry, need nappy change, too hot, too cold, tired, just need a cuddle), but it takes time - you're learning how to be a mum to this specific baby, and they're learning how to live in the outside world. Really hard, but yes, so worth it 🥰

milawops · 21/12/2022 12:18

BackOnTheBandWagon · 20/12/2022 22:53

I genuinely want this to make you feel better, but appreciate it may scare you more - you're not going to know what you're doing. Don't worry, none of us do - even if you've read and listened to all the advice you possibly can, nothing really prepares you for it. You'll get through it though, just take it day by day, and there are some days where you'll need to take it hour by hour. "Everyone fed, nobody dead" is the mantra to live by for a bit.

It'll get a bit easier at six weeks, then again at 12 weeks, and then at some point you'll realise you feel like you know what you're doing, or at least, you're not worried that you won't be able to handle whatever comes up.

Be really really really kind to yourself, and make sure all the people around you are looking after YOU. Especially in the early days - you look after your baby, they look after you.

God I wish I'd had you in my life when my first was born

SalviaOfficinalis · 21/12/2022 12:19

Don’t worry, no-one knows what they’re doing, you just muddle through and learn together.

My DS is nearly two and I still wouldn’t feel comfortable looking after someone else’s baby. It’s just different with your own.