Does it help sibling knowing sex of future sibling?

[Calmondeck]

Now we’ve recovered from the surprise of baby no.2 on its way, we’re debating whether we find out of the sex. For DC1 (now 18 months), we left it as a surprise and I really enjoyed that surprise after the hard work pushing him out! My DH is convinced we should find out the sex so we can help prepare DC1 for a baby brother or sister… I think DC1 doesn’t have a clue what we’re talking about when I say there is a baby in my tummy…

oops pressed too soon. I’d be grateful to hear from Mum’s of multiples whether knowing the sex makes any difference to the transition

It sounds like your DH just wants to find out the sex and is using that as an excuse.

Only 18 months between our two - even if we’d told DC1, it wouldn’t have meant anything to him.

20months between my two. I don't think DD1 realised she was a girl at that point, let alone her baby sister. We didn't know the sex with DD2 due to her position at the 20week scan, but DD1 was fascinated with "Baby" from day 1.

it definitely helped our middle DD but she was 3. At 18 months I don’t think it would make any difference whether you knew if baby was a brother or a sister

17 months between my first two and DC1 didn't really have a single clue what was going on, so knowing the sex wouldn't have made any difference.

DC1 was then just over 3 when DC3 arrived- still didn't find out the sex and she handled it absolutely brilliantly- she quite enjoyed telling strangers that we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl. I think your DH must just secretly want to know himself.

Ha yes I think you’re all correct, he’s using this as a guise to find out. Maybe I’ll let him find out and I’ll stay in the dark

I understand his wanting to find out, in all 3 of my pregnancies the year after I was pregnant they introduced telling the sex haha, so I didn't know with any of them. Was fine for me as wasn't particularly bothered.

I don't think it will matter to your older child.

I'm pregnant with DC2, my DD is almost 17 months and baby is due end of next month.
I don't think DD understands when I say there is a baby let alone her baby brother, haha!
If your DH finds out and you don't then he might accidentally let it slip and your surprise will be ruined. I'd have to either both find out or neither find out.
Congratulations! x

We found out DC2 was a girl. Told DD who is 3 she was having a baby sister, then a scan revealed the baby to be a boy! We just told her we got it wrong and it’s actually a baby brother, and she seems to have made the mental switch quite quickly. I don’t think it really matters either way, having a baby siblings is a normal part of life.

My DD will be 2.5 when our second is born. We've not found out as we loved the surprise with her. She's so excited for the baby and changes her mind daily if she thinks it's a girl or boy. I'm glad we've chosen not to find out.

I don’t think it would help your older child. Have around 2 years between children and it was still an abstract concept until baby arrived.

My (14 month old) son knew…He said it would be a baby sister and it was! Same with my third.

We told my DC1 (boy) that the baby was a boy and I think it really helped. He knew he was getting a brother. He was 19 months when DC2 was born but had a really good understanding and talked well. He was quite excited and couldn't wait to meet his brother when we got home from hospital.

DC2 was barely talking at 19 months (he had speech therapy!) and understood a lot less so if he'd been first I don't think he'd have understood at all.

So I think it depends on your child OP.