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Original poster

On the fence about gender scan tomorrow

28 replies

TisforTucan · 15/12/2022 23:48

I know people will say it is stupid (it is) but I did a nub expert picture at 12 weeks and it came back I was having the same sex as my other two children. I was initially disappointed as I would like a change of buying clothes ect but it lasted a day and I was over it.

Tomorrow I have my 20 week scan and family are gagging to know and people are asking me if I'm excited to know but I'm not.. I'm just set now on what I'm having and I'm actually more concerned and nervous about bubs health.

I never found out with DC2 and wish I hadn't of done the stupid scan thing (family are also saying I may aswell find out because of it).

Anyone else been not fussed about finding out the 3rd? I've been rang and text so many times today about it I'm just thinking I may as well now, it's getting annoying.

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Marmitepot · 15/12/2022 23:53

I haven’t got 3 but I had different experiences with the 2 I have.

1st baby- unplanned so really wanted to find out as the shock of the pregnancy was enough.

2nd baby-planned. I had 8 growth scans and was determined not to know the sex. We found out at the birth which was super exciting.

Don’t let others pressure you,do what you want.
What does your partner say?

Original poster
TisforTucan · 16/12/2022 00:00

@Marmitepot I was the same, I wanted to know for my first, the second I wanted a surprise and this one was going to be a surprise again but someone told me they knew what gender baby was so I was a bit upset.

He doesn't really mind, he has said if I want to know that's fine but also we shouldn't be pushed to finding out just because others want us to.

His mum is also highly pressuring me that she wants a change.. to the point she's saying what she's going to buy. This again is putting me off because I can't be bothered with her disappointment.

OP posts:
Marmitepot · 16/12/2022 00:04

That’s horrible that your MIL might be disappointed.

Every child is a gift as they say.

In your shoes I would probably go for surprise and sod everyone else. Do what YOU want

Original poster
TisforTucan · 16/12/2022 00:55

She was like it with DC2, bit more with this one like saying she's got things to give this baby from her family (why does a specific gender have to recieve them? And I've said this) and she's got two of the same already and wants "X" now.

Funny thing is, DC1 absolutely loves her to pieces so to say things like that just pisses me off.

I don't think I will find out, it's last bubba so want to have some control lol.

OP posts:
34and3 · 16/12/2022 06:21

Please take those gender nub things with a massive pinch of salt.

I have dd1 and dd2, and the nub thing said it was a dd3.

Dc3 is most definitely a little boy!

cherriegarcia · 16/12/2022 06:25

I would just find out for myself and not tell anyone 😁

panko · 16/12/2022 06:28

His mum sounds like a right peice of work.

I'd find out and tell her what the scan says just to get it out the way now and then when baby is here you don't have to worry about it. If she says anything negative then say that's OK you don't have to see the baby and tell her last any news etc when it's here, it's name etc.

Fizzybubblegumbottles · 16/12/2022 06:43

I had my 3rd 5 months ago.. I found out with the first 2 (both same sex) then I did a ramzi theory method which predicted the same sex… I didn’t find out but just knew it would be the same.. so when I gave birth and they said it’s a …….. I wasn’t shocked at all 😂 everyone wanted to know but they had to wait just like me I also had growth scans so the temptation was there! I’m glad I didn’t find out and experienced both finding out and having a surprise I don’t think I will have anymore but if I did I would keep it a surprise again.

OrcaBlondie · 16/12/2022 07:47

As someone has said, don’t take anyone’s answer to knowing the sex too seriously. So many times these theorys are wrong - even when it is an ‘expert’. I like the suggestion of finding out (if that is what you actually want to do) and then not telling anyone. You said you are set now on what you are having (I assume this is from what the nub expert said) but just keep in mind this might not be correct. But do not feel pressured to find out just because everyone else wants to know, it is not their baby or pregnancy!!

I am 34w and we haven’t found out the sex. We are so excited to find out at the birth. After our 20w scan my cousin suggested sending my scan pic to her friend (who I don’t even know) who is apparently an expert at determining the sex. I was so angry because she knew we don’t want to know, and so why would we want anyone else to have a guess and then start telling others what they think the sex is.

I hope your scan goes well x

ThanksItHasPockets · 16/12/2022 07:52

Tell MIL it’s an anomaly scan to check that the baby is growing and developing, not a sexing scan so she can go shopping! I found out my baby’s sex each time but in your position I probably wouldn’t find out.

toomuchlaundry · 16/12/2022 07:54

You would think people contacting you would be more concerned whether the baby is healthy rather than what sex it is. Totally got their priorities wrong

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 16/12/2022 08:01

Just find out. Or your head will be battered and you pregnancy spoiled. I found out and it made the new arrival (already named) more real for the existing dc. They could imagine playing with Bob for example not just a baby!!

spare123 · 16/12/2022 08:02

Just don't find out. I didn't with either of mine. No-one will be disappointed when there's an actual baby there.

elm26 · 16/12/2022 08:17

I found out and love knowing there is a little girl in me, but I'd of felt the same if she was a boy. After multiple miscarriages it was just a surprise to even be pregnant with a healthy baby.

MIL sounds like a piece of work.

By the way, all of the theories including nub said boy so they were all wrong.

Good luck with your scan xx

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 16/12/2022 08:18

Your Mum is proper bonkers, just saying.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/12/2022 08:21

If its the anomaly scan, just tell the Radiographer you don't want to know and to turn the screen when they check around that area. Tell MIL you chose not to find out or that baby wouldn't co operate.

If its a private sexing scan, just cancel.

panko · 16/12/2022 08:26

spare123 · 16/12/2022 08:02

Just don't find out. I didn't with either of mine. No-one will be disappointed when there's an actual baby there.

You say that but sometimes people genuinely are like awwww and then in 2nd breath shame its another boy/girl. They should be shut down and told fine don't see the baby then.

Roselilly36 · 16/12/2022 08:26

Do what you want to do, it’s your baby.

DottyLittleRainbow · 16/12/2022 08:27

If this is your NHS scan tell your family it’s a fetal anomaly scan to check your baby is healthy rather than a gender scan. Just tell the sonographer you don’t want to know and if it helps avoid hassle tell your family that the baby wasn’t in position for them to see and it’s not the purpose of the scan anyway. Your body, it’s up to you.

Original poster
TisforTucan · 16/12/2022 12:21

34and3 · 16/12/2022 06:21

Please take those gender nub things with a massive pinch of salt.

I have dd1 and dd2, and the nub thing said it was a dd3.

Dc3 is most definitely a little boy!

You are right, I don't know why I did it and I spoiled it for myself really so now I'm convinced.

We didn't find out today because i was focused on the health scan part, I've got messages now asking me. It's upsetting me now because both my children are the most loving kids and think lots of our family. I don't get the obsession, why would you be disappointed when baby is healthy.

OP posts:
Original poster
TisforTucan · 16/12/2022 13:22

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 16/12/2022 08:18

Your Mum is proper bonkers, just saying.

It's my mother in law not my mum 🤣. My mum is excited whatever I have she's the most easiest person to deal with because she loves all her grandchildren reguardless of what gender they are.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/12/2022 13:49

I'd just save a stock reply message

"Baby seems fit and well, thanks for checking in, looking forward to meeting them and finding out if we have another wonderful son, or a daughter in April. Thanks for checking in!"

Then any future messages

"We didn't find out because we don't mind either way, another baby, another grandchild, it always wonderful no matter boy or girl"

heartbroken22 · 16/12/2022 13:59

We're not finding out with our third. We have 2 girls and we're fine with whatever. Pregnancy, pregnancy loss, growing a baby, managing in life...everything so hard...we'll just be happy with a happy health baby.

Whataretheodds · 16/12/2022 17:05

I don't see the point in finding out (I'm only interested in it being healthy).

If you decide to find out, don't tell your MIL that you did. It's harder for her to moan when there's a baby in your arms.

Itisbetter · 16/12/2022 17:10

I think you are absolutely right what you want is for the baby to be healthy, sex isn’t really a factor it just creates different fantasies.

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