Coping with anxiety after MMC?

[rach971]

I feel like I'm forever posting on here for reassurance 😂

How do you all cope in a subsequent pregnancy, after having a missed miscarriage?

I have a 7 year old daughter, completely normal & fine pregnancy with her... I then had a missed miscarriage in August this year, and I'm currently pregnant again (7+4).

Some days I feel fine and barely think about it and other times I feel super on edge. I had a scan at EPU at 6+6 due to spotting and everything looked fine, but I was put on progesterone suppositories due to spotting in the last pregnancy and this one.

I do have slightly sore nipples and some nausea so that's in a sense reassuring (my symptoms totally dissapeared last time - baby passed at 7 weeks and I found out at 7+5, symptoms stopped a couple days before I found out). But then one of the side effects of progesterone can be sore boobs/vomiting etc so then I panic that the symptoms are now just caused by that... 😂

I've also had some slight cramping today and when I got out my car earlier I had a really sharp pain up my... lady parts 😂 felt like I'd ripped it in half 😂 god knows what that was.

I know I can't change the outcome and I know what will be will be. I think I'm just worried that something will have happened and I could be walking round for another few weeks not knowing... 😫

I honestly have no idea @rach971 . I have had one previous pregnancy lost at 11 weeks (discovered at 12 week scan). Now 18 weeks after 2 years infertility and worried about it all day every day.

I can tell you the sharp fanny daggers are normal. Now just wait for the arse javelin pain...

@rach971 hey! I can't offer much advise as I'm so so anxious! Just a hand hold, I'm currently 13.5 weeks pregnant and had a mmc in June this year at 11 weeks, I am constantly thinking somethings going to go wrong! I had a large bleed at 7 weeks which really didn't help :( I'm not sure if the anxiety will ever go! But you aren't alone lovely! I did take comfort in other people confirming things are normal, lightening crotch for one is unfortunately normal 😆 cramps I've had on and off since day one! Still get them a little now x

My kids are older now but I had multiple early miscarriages before 3 successful pregnancies, including 1 missed miscarriage. I remember well the near constant fear that something was wrong and I didn’t know. By the time I was pregnant with our youngest, I realised I was only ever going to enjoy my pregnancies in retrospect when they were safely over. Accepting that helped a little. I also booked in a couple of private scans to tied me over and hang in their week from week. I still remember how I felt even after all these years. Wishing you all the very best.

It’s difficult.
I just got into bed every night and said to myself “another day done and everything is ok”. Every night.
Took it an hour or a day at a time.

As you rightly say, there is absolutely nothing you can do about any of this so just get through the day.

I don't know. I had a MMC in April at 9 weeks.

I'm 7+2 now (based on ovulation date confirmed by temping) and am convinced I'm going to miscarry because a scan yesterday measured me at 6+4 which is obviously a big discrepancy. The sonographer pretended everything was fine which was irritating as it's pretty obvious that the growth of the baby is wrong here.

Hi OP

I'm 16 weeks after 11 miscarriages and I don't know how I've made it through the past 11 weeks from when I found out.

I've been on progesterone and aspirin and like a PP said, I've taken it one day at a time. I actually have been signed off work for the past 7 weeks due to anxiety which has helped as I find sleeping when I want, having a warm bath and reading my kindle helps take my mind off it.

Miscarriages rob us of enjoying our pregnancies and every day that goes by I feel grateful, I hope everything turns out just fine for you and wishing you all the luck and love for your little one ♥️

@TheBirdintheCave I just wanted to say that there was a 6 day difference on my first scan which made me believe something was wrong, by the time I got to 8 weeks I was measuring 2 days ahead then at my 12 week scan I was measuring 4 days ahead and so far everything is fine. The margin for error on measurements when baby is so small is huge as they are tiny and it only takes a slight slip of the hand to put the CRL a couple of millimetres out. I hope this helps and I'll keep you in my thoughts for a healthy and happy pregnancy ♥️

Hi @rach971

Very similar situation here! MMC in May, baby stopped growing at 6+2 and confirmed by a scan at 8weeks after some spotting. Now 7+6 and I had started to relax slightly after feeling like I was further along than last time but then on Monday had some spotting. Now waiting for a scan at the EPU tomorrow.
Hoping for some positive news, but worrying about the worst, and the in between still unknowing like @TheBirdintheCave if I measure less than 8 weeks.
Only positive like you is that I have slightly sore boobs and slight nausea, which stopped around 6w last time, but also taking the progesterone so could be from that!
I don’t have any advice, I am just taking things one day at a time.

@elm26 Thank you that is a little reassuring. I'm hoping to gather some more positive and negative stories on my thread to see which way it's more likely to go :/

@Natpat81 Good luck for tomorrow! X

Thanks @TheBirdintheCave
Wishing you good luck too, sorry you are in limbo about the uncertainty but I hope everything works out x

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl Your username gave me a much needed giggle this morning 😂 That and the 'arse javelin pain' 😂 Thanks for cheering me up ☺️

@Moosh18 Thank you ♥️ It is nice to know you're not alone isn't it. Never touched my boobs so much in my life as I have these past few weeks 😂 And if they don't feel as sore as usual (which even then is only mild) then I'm pushing them in all different directions to see if I can feel anything at all even the slightest bit of soreness 😂 Then I keep going onto the private scan clinic website, debating how soon is too soon for another scan 🙈 driving myself madddd!

@rach971 I had two private early scans to try calm me! My boobs haven't really hurt that much throughout and if they do it's on an evening. I've had horrific sickness though since week 6 😩

@OrpingtonWings Thank you for sharing ☺️ It does give me some comfort knowing that even after multiple miscarriages it's still possible to go on and have a healthy pregnancy. I think I panic that if I have a second MC, then I'll have a third, and a fourth and so on. I think that just adds to the anxiety of me wanting everything to be okay this time around.

@ColinRobinsonsfamiliar That's true. I do think that sometimes. I'll think right, another day with no spotting, nothing to suggest anything is wrong. But even then I'm like, well that doesn't mean everything is okay in there... Just got to keep crossing my fingers and hoping it will be. Got my booking appointment with the midwife on Tuesday so I think it'll be good to share some of my worries with her too.

@Moosh18 My nausea always comes on of an evening, no idea why. I'll be fine all day, and then it'll get to like 7/8pm and I feel 🤢 Which is usually around when I eat my tea... so then I never feel like eating much, although I force myself to so I'm not hungry. Not been sick though. The mild symptoms don't worry me toooo much because when I was pregnant with my daughter I had some nausea early on and that was literally it. I think I'm just someone who doesn't ever get strong symptoms.

Take it day by day and don't look too far in to the future. My last pregnancy was after 2 mc and was the first 12 weeks I took it week by week. As another poster said - each week we got through but a blessing.

I found my anxiety got better after the 20
Week mark. We told no one until then.

I found scans were the worst at the start as I had to have a few scans with the losses so always so scared going to scans and getting bad news again and due to covid did all of them for the last pregnancy alone. But I did get two early scans at 8 and 10 weeks to help me cope.

Good luck!

@TheBirdintheCave I'm sorry to hear that, but really hoping for the best for you. I've done a lot of reading about all sorts both in this pregnancy and the last and I've seen similar stories with positive outcomes ☺️ Are they wanting to re-scan you in a week or two, or?

@elm26 Wow, congratulations! So glad all is going well for you and that the aspirin and progesterone are doing their job. It's good that you've been able to have time off work as well to look after yourself and keep as calm as poss. I think for me, going to work is the only time I don't feel anxious, because I'm too busy to think about it for the most part.

@Natpat81 Best of luck for your scan tomorrow! I know progesterone can cause spotting (which is frustrating 😂) so it could just be from that. Keep us updated though ☺️

@lifehappens12 Thank you 🥰 I'm definitely scared of getting bad news at a scan again. I can remember last time so vividly and almost hear her voice, telling us. I was reading other threads where people say if you go for a scan, it only reassures you for the 5 mins you're there and then you start worrying again, which was definitely the case last time. So I'm desperately trying to hold off booking one until after Christmas, because I do want a private one before the 12 week one. But I keep thinking hmmm I could go in a day or two just to get some reassurance. It's like an internal battle with myself 😂 do it, don't do it and wait, do it... 😂

Hi, just another thought on the scans - for my last at one point I decided no early scans - didn't want to know if something had happened. Then I got to 8 weeks where I lost my babies before and I just couldn't focus/constantly upset thinking I was going to lose the baby again my sickness was getting better.

So we went for a scan and I was ahead of my dates (ovulated early) nearly 10 weeks and she found the heart beat in seconds.

Again I always feel thankful for that scan - my partner was in the car park waiting and they let me video call and show him the baby. Such a wonderful memory

Hi OP, I highly recommend Zoe Clark Coates’ book ‘Pregnancy After Loss’ and the Pregnancy after Loss app too.

I’m currently 31 weeks after an MMC at 10 weeks in April and these helped me stay sane in tough moments!

Beyond this, I have had a mortifyingly high number of scans (8 or 9 I think), some NHS some private. Totally ridiculous I know but I’ve needed it!

I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!

@Emalouise25111 Thank you. I'll look into the book & app ☺️

I had 4 or 5 scans in my last pregnancy 🙈 One at EPU for spotting, then two or three private and another at EPU after I found out baby had stopped growing. I was convinced right from the get go something was going to go wrong though.

I think in some ways a missed miscarriage makes the anxiety worse because you know something could have happened and your body won't let you know.

I can't go for a private scan until 29th December now because of when me & partner are working plus they're closed over Christmas. But that two week wait feels like a lifetime 😔

Think my anxiety is so high rn as well because this is the time everything happened last time. Baby passed at 7w and I found out at 7+5 (on day of booking appointment). I'm now 7+6, booking appointment is on Tuesday as well... So it just feels extra stressful 😫

@rach971 Did you find your symptoms faded with the MMC or did they just stop all of a sudden? I've woken up this morning with far less nausea than yesterday so naturally I'm now assuming my baby has died.

My booking in appointment is next Friday and, if I get that far which I doubt, I think I'll just be asking if there's any point in bothering to book me in as it'll probably be a huge waste of everyone's time. I'll leave it up to her whether she wants to spend an hour talking to me for no reason.

@TheBirdintheCave unfortunately either is possible. In missed miscarriage at first all hormones etc stay exactly the same (which is why no miscarriage physically occurs). This means you'd stay with similar symptoms Inc a growing tummy, sore boobs, etc. For others, body will have just started to realise so symptoms start to dip. However, symptoms varying week to week is also totally normal in an 100% healthy pregnancy. So basically symptoms can't help you tell whether it's going well or not, sorry

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I had a mix of the two last time. My symptoms went but I didn't start bleeding until I took the medication that they gave me, and even then it took a while to kick in.

So I'm kind of expecting the same here.

@TheBirdintheCave Yeah they pretty much just stopped one day and didn't come back. Which is weird because as @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl said, your hormones stay the same. In fact my HCG didn't come down to a non-pregnant level for 8-9 weeks after I actually miscarried, yet for all that time I didn't have any symptoms at all.

My symptoms did dissapear a couple weeks ago for two days and I really panicked but then they came back again. Now for the last couple of days they've faded, so naturally I'm worrying again :(

Is there any way you can do a private scan to put your mind at ease? I've decided to book one for next week. Partner unfortunately can't make it as the only free times are when he's working but I just can't wait another two weeks because I have a sinking feeling I can't shake and I just want to know either way.

Hello, hope everyone is doing well. Just to update my scan at the EPU yesterday went fine, and the spotting I had on Monday and Tuesday has stopped. There was a strong heartbeat and measured 8+2 which was 2 days ahead of what I expected (not sure how this happened - I had regular 28day periods and my ovulation tracked in line with that!).
I didn’t get to see a heartbeat last time so feeling much better now I have seen it.

Wishing you all the best as well, and @rach971 and @TheBirdintheCave I hope it’s good news for you at your next scans x

@Natpat81 Great to hear it went well :D