29 weeks and feelings of dread.. anyone relate?

[GoT1904]

I'm currently expecting baby #4. Planned and well wanted. Partner, children and family are all very excited. I have moments of being very excited.. I was over the moon at the beginning.

However this pregnancy has been quite tough, my youngest has just gone 7, so it's been a while since I've last been on this ride. I have SPD and sickness still, plus the fatigue. The fatigue can be so hard!

When TTC I thrived off wearing so many hats, always being busy with the kids and studying for a degree etc. I knew life would be hectic at times but welcomed that. However I have these moments of just... pure dread.

I'm full of cold atm. I woke up to wee at around 1am, when nodding back off my 7yo dd slept walked in and did that thing where they just stand at the side of your bed and frighten the life out of you, I then couldn't nod back off so laid in bed reading on my phone.. not so long ago the morning sickness started (at nearly 2.30am ffs), I didn't want to wake anyone so went downstairs to vom, and also decided it would be nice to piss myself whilst retching. I'm now sat back in bed eating dried banana chips and wondering wtf I am doing.

I never have felt a feeling of dread before in a pregnancy. I am hoping it is just because this preg is harder for me, and life will be easier to deal with when I'm not pregnant... however I'm looking for similar stories, if there are any, and wondering if you felt similarly, how life was when baby was here?

following because i feel similarly. but it started as soon as I got the bfp. Planned baby. Didn’t get this feeling with my others. I’m in third trimester now and have managed to shut out the feelings. I did request a mental health midwife but she just wanted to put me on medication and when I said no she felt she couldn’t help me so discharged me. I’m hoping maternal instincts will kick in and it’s just hormones but if not I will seek help.

I had a horrendous pregnancy first time round with HG and various other complications and whilst I didn’t want another baby for a long time after I still didn’t feel dread. So for me there is no obvious reason why I feel this way. I even considered termination, despite it being a very much planned baby.

Oh bless you, I'm sorry to hear that. How far are you?

It sounds awful but sometimes in the earlier days I thought that if I experienced a loss then maybe it would be for the best and I wouldn't ttc again.. however I'm sure I'll regret thinking that when she's here.

I'm under the perinatal mental health team... they work quickly and have given me a CPN and a psychiatrist and aren't pushing meds - do you have a similar service in your area?

Oh same here, I’ve had miscarriage before my dc2 and I was petrified all through that pregnancy but this time I would just be ‘well that’s nature’ when I would get a scare, although my first instincts would be for it to survive I’d then think well whatever’s meant to be.

well I was referred to peri natal team which was this midwife and all she said was try meds but it was my choice, I told her my passed experience of cbt didn’t suit me but that wasn’t because she had suggested it, I was hoping she would refer me onto something else or maybe try another type of talk therapy but she just discharged me. Even just getting seen by the midwife took a good few months. But I guess it depends where you are. I’m glad you’re getting some support though, hopefully it’s just hormonal for both of us!