Pregnancy & Living Alone

[Oceanaa]

Not sure if this is asking for advice or more of a rant, but I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable or not!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and own my own home. My partner is currently renting his own place and lives 50 minutes away. We didn't plan this pregnancy, hence the living situation, but we are both really happy and excited nonetheless.

Unfortunately, my partner's driving license has been suspended for 6 months as a result of speeding. Throughout the whole pregnancy, it has been me driving forwards and backwards to his to see him (also costing time and money, which I don't really have!). As I'm now near the end of the pregnancy, I said I wouldn't do this anymore as I want to be close to the hospital (and someone who can drive me there!). This has meant that I now hardly see him... The public transport commute takes around 2 hours and to be honest, I feel really guilty that I'm making him do this (why I'm feeling guilty, I don't know!?).

I feel really lonely to be honest as every day/night I'm at home on my own, whereas he's out drinking with his friends living a very normal life. He also works away a lot, which scares me that he might actually miss the birth but it doesn't seem to phase him at all and he's actively looking to do this around the due date?

Because I've been on my own for most of the time, it has been me and solely me that has done all the baby bits and pieces. The washing, the buying and assembly of furniture, the organizing and home modifications. He's also not showed interest in coming to a single midwife appointment (only the scans).

I just can't help but worry how things are going to be when the baby is here, is he going to continue to live his own, normal life!? I've kind of just accepted the thought that I'm going to be doing almost all of the childcare and somehow trying to fit my work in in between (I'm self-employed, so I'm going to need to try and work a bit throughout).

Am I being unreasonable and hormonal? I know I'm painting a bad picture but he is a really loving, kind, thoughtful and supportive person. I know he will absolutely adore our child but I just feel like I've done most of this pregnancy on my own, particularly as these last few weeks are physically difficult!

He doesn't sound supportive, OP, sorry to say it. He's living his life. He's going to continue living his life - he's planning on working away over your due date and it doesn't bother him. You're not going to be doing almost all the childcare, you are going to be doing all the childcare.

You might not have planned the pregnancy, but you've had 9m to plan for raising the child together and could have moved in together during that time, but for some reason have chosen not to - is that a joint decision? Has he contributed financially yet?

You need to have a discussion about the long term plans. What happens if you need a c section? There is no driving for 6 weeks, does that mean he doesn’t see you or the baby?
Frankly he sounds like a self centred immature man and you should be planning how to do this alone as it’s really not that different to what your doing now or I would be moving in together and taking full joint responsibility

You are not over reacting your partner sounds very immature, you could go into labour any day now, my partner would not have left me for any length of time at that stage especially not to go on a night out, can't he stay at your place until the baby is born? working away around your due date is just ridiculous, he should be there to support you during and after the birth, you need to have a serious talk with him

he is a really loving, kind, thoughtful and supportive person

Is he? What’s stopped him buying stuff for the baby and doing a load of washing at yours? Pitching in with all the normal pre baby stuff?

How’s he going to get to you when you’re in labour? Is he taking paternity leave? Is he planning to stay for a couple of weeks?

What's he currently doing to make your life easier? Are you planning to ever live together?

he is a really loving, kind, thoughtful and supportive person

All the evidence in your post says otherwise.

Is he planning to move in with you when the baby comes? Why hasn't he already?
When you go into labour how are you getting to the hospital? is he going to spend 2 hours on the bus to get to you?

Sorry he his behaving like this OP. He doesn't sound like he has earned the title partner.
Carry on looking after yourself amd you baby and leave him to his own devices, he will use up more of your energy than you have spare.
Have a lovely time meeting your baby.

It doesn’t really sound like a partnership, sorry. Will he still live 50 minutes away long-term? How will he be able to provide any kind of hands-on support with the baby?

It does sound like you’re doing it alone.

What’s the plan when baby arrives? Will you continue to live separately?