Worried about being judged

[sianlouise1998]

Advise please!

Me and my partner are 25 years old. My partner has a good job with a good salary, we’ve been together for 7 years and brought our first house together last year.

He desperately wants to have children and so do I. The only thing holding me back is I’m worried for being judged, I keep thinking I am ‘too young’ to have a baby and that I will get judged for it. Am I being stupid?

Another thing is, I started a new job 4 months ago after leaving a role I had been in for 6 years. How long should I leave it before getting pregnant? I am also worried my new employer will be annoyed if I go off pregnant so early on.

25 isn't particularly young, the only concern I'd have in your situation is what your contract says about maternity pay. Assuming you have an enhanced package there may be time requirements. It should be easy enough to find out what you're entitled to and plan for it. Not many people actually care as much as you think.

Being married is a good insurance should anything happen but not essential if you're named on the home and can support yourself.

As an aside, I was the first in my friendship group to have kids and im my friends didn't really understand what I was going through- all excited during the pregnancy but when the baby arrived and I couldn't drop everything and go out, or meet in the evening or whatever the invites disappeared. Hanging out with a refluxy, vomiting, crying, nap refusing baby and their sleep deprived parent isn't too appealing.

I don't think it is particularly young considering, especially the length of time you've been together.
I would, however, look at your mat policy - you might only be entitled to mat pay from a certain date e.g. 1 year of service.
Also, as you're not married just make sure you are financially secure to support yourself.

I had my first at 26 and am now pregnant with my second at 30. Worked well for me I was often the youngest at any clubs and things though but that was fine. I don't think it's so much the age more if you are you in a good financial situation.

Do you have another thread at the moment? If that's you then you're already pregnant? People will judge regardless, if you can provide a child with a stable home environment it doesn't really matter that you're only 25.

Get married. Check your maternity pay situation to make sure you’re not shafted. Then crack on.

25 isn’t ‘too young’ at all.

I'm 25 and expecting our second, DS is 11 months. It's not too young at all, I'm the youngest in all the baby groups we go to and most my mum friends are mid to late 30s. We have good jobs, a mortgage and can afford to give our babies a good life so why not. We had the odd oh wow you're young comment but nothing bad!

We are also married and the first of all our friends to do both, the closest mum I know in age to me is 28

I share this as someone who wishes they’d started TTC much

…sooner. I’d say go for it if you’re both in a good place 🙂

I had my first at 19.

25 isn't young for a baby go for it op.

I don’t think anyone would judge you. You sound like you’ve got your life together.

Do check your employer policy regarding maternity though.

It is on the younger side, considering the national average for first babies is 30ish.

Doesn't mean it's wrong. But it is young.

I’ve just turned 40 and many of my friends have had babies in the last couple of years. I had mine 26-29 years old and so dh and I are enjoying having older dc and being more independent at 40 when friends are struggling adjust to life with babies. I’m very happy with our choice and that we’ll have our 50s to travel just dh and I.