Navigating a mmc

[hennie222]

Just got back from the epu where scans have shown no heartbeat and only a 6 week measurement when I should be nearly 11. Went in because of very light spotting so wasn't really expecting this. Just feel so deflated when it took us 3 years to get here and still feel so pregnant. And now I've got to wait another week for a scan to formally diagnose. I'm not really sure what to do with myself. The nurse said the MC can start heavy bleeding at any time so I might want to not e.g. go to a gym class etc. Not that I feel like doing anything right now. Anyone got any words of wisdom?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there. Had a mmc in August, detected at my 12 week scan. My whole world came crashing down the moment I saw it on the screen.
The waiting is the most agonising thing of all. Can you ask to have your official scan moved forward? Have they talked to you about options how the miscarriage will be managed? I had surgical management as my body just didn't start the process on its own within a week. But you can also take medicine to bring on the bleeding, or wait it out, whichever feels right for you.
Have you got a good support network around you? For me, talking to friends about it who had experienced pregnancy loss themselves was super helpful. I also had a few phone chats with a bereavement midwife. Reach out to people if you're struggling.
Other than that, be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve, do what you need to process this. It takes time but you will be ok, I promise.

@RaliaMusca thanks for your reply and sorry you had to go through with this too. I've got a scan booked in for next Monday, so they can officially diagnose it (I have to wait a week apparently) so they didn't really go into the different treatment options but I'll have a read around now. Don't really have any close friends who've been through this and hadn't told anyone except for dh so feel a bit alone at the moment and a bit of a mix of sad, but also anxious about the future.

@hennie222 mmc are awful so I’m so sorry you’re going through it too. I had one end on July, picked up at an early scan, I’d had no bleeding or pain at all. After they confirmed it at epu I opted to be booked in for medical management a few days later. I didn’t bleed at all beforehand so I tried to go about life as normal (even though I just wanted to sit and cry all day) I really struggled as I felt so alone too but I got through it and you will too❤️

So sorry for your loss. I experienced a MMC in 2020 very shortly after I’d just seen the heartbeat on an early scan. Baby was measuring 7w4d when it died and I was 9w5d when I started bleeding. I was so devastated I don’t know how I even got through it

2 years later, I fell pregnant again with my now 6 week old. I know it’s horrible to hear but have faith that it will happen again but allow yourself to grieve first so you’re in the best headspace for your next little bundle. X

@hennie222 im so sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need to process it. I had a mmc this spring, it had stopped at 6 weeks, found out in a private scan at 9weeks.

If you choose (or it happens before you get the option) natural miscarriage then a hot water bottle was the single best item I had. Everyone is different, I got told by the epu it would be like a bad period but that was an understatement for me. Both in terms of the pain/cramps and the amount of bleeding. Again everyone is different with it.
For me I had 2 days of on and off intense cramps before I passed anything and needed to be by the toilet, so I had time. I didn’t feel like doing anything though, the pain just kept me in bed with the hot water bottle. I did assume after the session on the toilet that it had passed, a few days later I went to a restaurant with my dh, half way through the intense cramps started again and then I spent 20minutes on the toilet in the restaurant. I do regret going there but I had no idea it was still going on.

Thanks for your replies. I will dig out my hot water bottle and take things easy for a few days, see what happens I guess! Hopefully will be all over before Christmas at least 😐

So so sorry to hear your sad news. I went through the same thing also after 3 years of trying. It is so horrible but look after yourself and just remmeber it won't affect any future pregnancies. Rest as much as you can

@hennie222 I am so sorry for your loss. I was exactly where you were this time last year, so I didn't want to read and run, and have been feeling quite emotionally about it currently.

I had a MMC, found out at 12 weeks, stopped growing around 10.5w. I had very light spotting and went to EPU in a rush and alone as DH was on a work call and I thought it would just be a routine call. I have to echo previous posters, reach out to people if you can, particularly if you know anyone who has experienced baby loss. Unfortunately I didn't and spent a lot of time online and was surprised by how much I didn't know. I ended up waiting almost 2 weeks and my body didn't want to let go, so I had the operation in the end - for me personally it was the best thing as it drew a line under everything and was quick and painless, and relieved us of the physical ordeal before Christmas.

I initially wanted to pass it naturally but it was very stop start and I felt a bit like a captive in my home as was terrified of it happening whilst I was out and about, so the op was the right direction for me, but do read up on your options.

My heart goes out to you, and if you have any questions or need any support please DM me. I hadn't even heard of MMC at the time so was in shock and then had a few months of therapy.

I am currently almost 16w pregnant, it took us another 9 months and a lot of tears to get here but I just want you to know that there is hope. X

Oh I'm so sorry. It is just the worst. I had a MMC at the start of the year, baby died days after my 12 week scan but wasn't discovered until I was 17 weeks. Even then my body was clinging on to the pregnancy with everything it had. I wasn't allowed to wait as the baby had been gone for so long it was too high an infection risk so I had medical management straight away and stayed in hospital for the duration. It was one of the lowest points of my life and I still feel a bit traumatised when I think back to it. I fell pregnant again quickly and I'm 30 weeks now, life went on, but it didn't feel like it would at the time. So sorry you're going through this.

Thanks all for your replies . It's awful that you all have had to go through this also it is at the same time reassuring to know it's not that uncommon. Its amazing to me that midwives etc don't talk about this more , as only 2 weeks ago I was in there being told how I was a low risk pregnancy and all that. Still no change in physical symptoms for me here , light spotting, very.mild cramping . Feels like my body doesn't want to let go :(