When to tell the 2yo?

[Margo34]

A little over 20w pregnant with DC2. When baby arrives, DC1 will be 2.5yo. Haven't told the 2yo yet but they've noticed and said "mummy's tummy very big."

When (and how) did others tell their toddlers about the new baby in mummy's tummy?

I'm 17 weeks and I told my 2 year old weeks ago... mainly cause he's so on the go and always jumping around etc I feared he would hit my belly by accident. He's very much aware now and is so careful around me, says morning to bump and always touching bump. 🥰

We’re planning on telling DS after our 20 week scan this week. A lot of people are surprised that we haven’t yet so not sure we’re the norm. We decided to wait until I had an obvious bump to explain it and also to be as comfortable as we could be that everything was ok. It‘s also such a long wait in his world. He has definitely picked up on something already, he has never been interested in soft toys before but now holds them and tells us they’re his baby. He points out babies a lot when we are out and about. Really hoping that he is receptive to the idea of having a little brother!

Is your 2yo chatty? I don't think I'll be able to put up with the constant stream of "where's the baby, mummy?" For the next 20ish weeks!

Mine is always on the go too, I just gave other outlets for jumping and climbing instead of on me and kept saying "be careful of mummy, don't kick mummy" (so now toddler tells everyone "be careful of my mummy, don't kick my mummy!")

I didn't think it was so unusual to hold off telling little ones?! How old is your little boy? Good luck for your scan this week 😍

We told ours from the day we found out the other week and I'm only 5+1 now 😂

I told my daughter from the day after I found out as I wanted her along with the journey with us. But she is 6, so I get why you held off for a bit. Tell your child when your ready, if I was you I would tell DC1 now. So they get used to the idea of having a sibling soon! I would go along the lines of "there's a baby in mummy's tummy etc" kids are smarter than we think and soon get used to the idea pretty quickly. Good luck and congratulations

How did they take it? I didn't tell anyone except DH until about 15w because of previous losses so never even crossed my mind to tell my 2yo sooner!

@TheBirdintheCave also congratulations! 💐 I just realised I recognise your name from the MC group too

I was 30 plus weeks. A) I'm always anxious in pregnancy due to past experience B) not a ridiculous length of time for the DC to wait.

Oh I didn't see your name either! Hi Margo :D I'm so glad everything's going well for you 😁And thank you! It was a bit of a surprise considering we'd just booked our first IVF appointment 🙄😂

My son doesn't seem to understand yet. He's just turned two last Thursday so I think everything is still a bit beyond him. He'll be a little over 2.5 when his sibling arrives so hopefully it clicks by then :)

@TheBirdintheCave aww that's the best kind of surprise. Hope everything goes smoothly for you now 😊 Sounds like we'll have a similar age gap between our babies and their siblings.

I think this is what I would feel comfortable with, but DH is pushing to tell toddler now and keeps dropping really unsubtle comments to my toddler which is really beginning to grate on me

We told DD when we told the rest of our families at 12 weeks, as didn't want to risk her repeating it before that!
I'm not sure she really "gets it" yet though - she's just over 21 months and I'm 24 weeks so she'll be 25 months when it arrives. She is obsessed with babies though, and if I point to my tummy and ask "what's in mummy's tummy?" she says "baby". (but then also points to her tummy and says baby....)

Thank you :) I've got an early scan booked for eight weeks but (fingers crossed) everything is looking better than it did with the MMC. Time is going soooo slowly! 😂

Can I join this club? I've got a soon to be 20 month old, and am currently 10 weeks pregnant, so if all goes to plan, she'll be 2 years and 4 months when little one arrives. We've not told her yet as she's such a blabber mouth, half the neighbours would know within 5 minutes 😂. I also don't know what I'd do if anything goes wrong with the baby (can't think of anything worse then her keep saying 'baby' at my stomach if we lose it for whatever reason), so I think we're going to wait until after the 20 week scan, and probably even later if we can. She's very physical, but like with anyone, we are trying to teach her to be gentle when she climbs on people, and obviously no kicking etc.

To be honest, I'm much more concerned about how the hell we're going to cope with a newborn and a toddler!! 😱😱

My daughter will be 2.5 when our baby is due in Feb and we told her at 14 weeks. She picks up on so much and her communication is excellent so we didn't want her hearing it in conversation.
She understands more than I expected, she tells everybody there is a baby in my tummy and she's going to be a big sister. As soon as she gets home from nursery she asks to cuddle the baby and talks to my tummy and the baby kicks so much when she does 🥲. She keeps telling me she's going to teach the baby to crawl so think she might be disappointed the baby won't be crawling for a while 😂. I recommend "there is a house in my mummy" book, she loves it.

He’ll be 2yr 9mo when our second is born so a little older than yours. Whilst we were eating dinner tonight he said “Mummy has a baby in her tummy!”. Seems he has picked up on far more than we thought.

Not the same boat as my DC1 is 4 but I'm going to tell him the weekend after my anomaly scan. He's starting to notice my tummy and once we have had a bit more reassurance things are progressing as they should (not that I have any reason to believe they aren't but you never know) I'll tell him the following Saturday morning so I've got 2 days with him without telling him then bundling him straight off to school after.

@canyoutoleratethis aww join the club for sure and congrats on your pregnancy. I have the same concerns about having a newborn and a toddler!

@BabyB2022 I have a chatty one too, already knows my tummy is big and gives my tummy kisses and cuddles and has done for weeks, how do they know??!!! Thanks for the book recommendation, it was on my radar but I'd totally forgotten about it. Maybe I'll get it for the toddler for Christmas?!

Im 16 weeks and have told DD who is 2.5. Im not sure it’s really registered that much, or more likely she doesn’t care that much yet. She has told me she would like a little baby so that’s positive, but then she followed it up by telling me she would like a little chicken nugget. So no idea where we stand really 😂

@Sallyh87 I hope you nickname your bump 'little chicken nugget!' 😊

So we told the toddler over new year, at , after visiting friends with an 11w old baby and before seeing family. Asked the toddler would you like a baby in our house, like friend's baby? "No. Just Mummy, Daddy, Toddler". Mentioned it a few times, toddler was leaning on/cuddling me and baby gave an almighty kick 😂 toddler jumped right off but came back for more! I said "that's your baby kicking in my tummy, Mummy Daddy Toddler Baby." Fast forward a few hours - I overhear toddler asking her teddies "do you want to feel my tummy? Can you feel that, teddy? Is it baby? Yeah, in my tummy" 😍😂

We're going to the library this week and I'll see if we can get some books out!

Edit: So we told the toddler over new year, at 25w...