Really don’t want this baby

[Whatshouldihavedonefirst]

Feel horrendous admitting this and am in a low place.

I am 42. Pregnant with second child (first is 2.) I don’t feel excited at all. I feel old and knackered and unhealthy.

I just don’t want to be pregnant.

You don't have to have it. Nothing horrendous about that.

As above. You have a choice.

No but it isn’t a straightforward choice either. Unless I lie and tell DH I miscarried.

@Whatshouldihavedonefirst hand hold

You don't have to feel horrendous admitting you don't wish to be pregnant. Lots of us have been there and it wasn't some huge emotional decision, it can just be a relief.

There are options, it takes one call to get the ball rolling.

Do you have any rl support?

As other posters have said above

Are you just feeling unwell with it or concerned about your age? My first was 2 when I was pregnant with my second (at 41). My pregnancy was horrendous and I felt awful

My second is 10 months now and first is nearly 3. I recovered very quickly (better so than the first) and although feel permanently knackered, I don't think this is any different to other mums of 2.

But again, it is completely your choice and it's ok to feel as you do 💐

Did you have a low mood before pregnancy? Was it planned? How far along are you?

Could be prenatal depression? Also, life is shite and scary for many at the moment, hard to get excited about things for a lot of us.

Of course, if you're early enough an abortion is always an option. I had one after having 3 children and knowing I couldn't cope with a 4th. Plenty of other mothers there around the same age when I went.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I know you likely know this already but if you do want another in the future, it won't necessarily be easy to fall pregnant.

Of course, if you're one and done, this isn't relevant.

Are you far along? Sadly, the miscarriage rate isn't low in the first few weeks.

This sounds like there may be a lot more going on. Is your husband abusive/controlling?

I don’t feel unwell which (stupidly) is exacerbating my worries as everyone else I know with the same due date or thereabouts seems to be throwing up constantly!

I just feel I’ve made the wrong decision for me and for our DS and all of us.

No not at all @RagzRebooted but this was a very planned baby. I think DH would be very upset if I opted to terminate it and it would change things.

Contrary to the popular narrative or the young teenager, at least in the United States, most women who exercise their right to end a pregnancy are already mothers. They are women who fully understand the implications of another pregnancy and of raising another child on their on life and the lives of their family.

make the best choice for you. None of us can tell you what that is because every woman faces her own unique circumstances both practical and emotional.

Maybe it’s not going to last - the missed miscarriages I had - I did not have pregnancy symptoms.
How does that make you feel - relieved or anxious?

Perhaps it will be a missed miscarriage - who knows - I just feel so low about it. When I was pregnant with DS I was on top of the world.

Maybe you’re just being realistic about the work involved.
Babies are not like a possession- they are little people in their own right. It’s no longer just about you.
sounds like you intended to get pregnant- why the change of heart?

Hi @Whatshouldihavedonefirst I have just found your thread after posting a very similar one last week. I am feeling the same. I’m 40 and nearly 7 weeks pregnant with our second child. Since getting the positive test I have been so down and I’m pretty sure this isn’t what I want. It’s made me realise I’m so happy as a family of 3 despite thinking I wanted another baby. I have no advice I’m afraid, just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. I’m hoping to get an appointment with the midwife next week to talk through my concerns.