I'm expecting a second child and starting to get scared. My first birth was bit traumatic and I've been asking for help. But midwifes aren't really that helpful because they just read the summary and for them my experience was pretty normal first time. Psychologist would be propably ok but getting an appointment is impossible.
But for me the birthing was something else. Duration was 26 hours total, active part more than 2 hours. I tried almost every pain relief, had a panic attack when trying aqua blisters and only epidural helped with constant burning sensation of lower back.
During active part I tried all fours but the baby would never pop out. It was just going back and forth. I started to get tired and was ordered to lie down. Contractions started to weaken and episiotomy had to be done bc of ventouse delivery. Baby's head wasn't in optimal position - maybe that affected.
Luckily I healed okay but the scar is little tender some places (3 years after). I didn't get that loving feeling after birth either. Or I did but towards my spouse.
I guess my biggest fears now are pain, what if I panic worse than last time, will I tear badly bc of episiotomy and having to stay in nursing ward overnight. Maybe positive stories would help? And I'm open to other suggestions too :)