First time older mums in her 40s (My due date is 4th July)

[Mamalojay]

I’d love to connect with any other older mums to be whose due date is near mine.

Hi @Mamalojay

I am 41 and my due date is end July. We’ve been trying for a baby (first one) for 18 months and so far had a MMC in May.
I had just found out I could start IVF after Christmas then one week later found out I was pregnant naturally. I’m very anxious given the previous miscarriage - planning on booking a private scan at 8 weeks (I’m currently 5 weeks) so will be a nervous time until then!

How are you doing?

Hi @Natpat81

Congratulations!! And thank you for replying.

I understand your anxiety. I am 8 weeks now with my first child. We spent 12 years trying to conceive - This was our 7th and we had decided, final, IVF. I too have moments of anxiety. As you are probably trying to do too, I’m taking things a day at a time and resting as much as I can.

I had a private scan at 7.5 weeks. We heard it’s heartbeat. It was unbelievable! I fully recommend an early private scan to put your mind at more ease - good for you.

I have only this week begun to think about being a slightly older, (but still fabulous, of course! 😁) mum and how I might connect with mums my age as well as younger mums - hence my message.

If all goes well, it would be good to connect on this journey as we may have similar thoughts and questions.

Next week, I’m going to my first Pilates for pregnant ladies class which I’m oddly nervous about 😬🙂☺️

@Mamalojay

Congratulations to you too! That must have been a difficult 12 years but I am very happy for you now!

Wow that’s great news that you have had a scan already and everything is well 😄I hope that I will make it that far this time. After that I think I will feel much better.

I am also trying to rest, apart from walking. I was running 4 times a week and I understood that it was ok to continue running during pregnancy if your body is used to it, as long as I slowed down. So I kept running the first time I was pregnant, but a very small part of me worried that it contributed to the miscarriage. So I haven’t run since before I ovulated as I am too worried. I do really miss it though. And I worry about all the Xmas baking I will be eating and not running off! I am staying in my normal Pilates class for a few more weeks as the instructor said it was ok, but I plan on joining an ante natal class in the new year. I hope you enjoy it!

I don’t really feel “old” so often I forget that my body is a bit different to younger mums to be! However all my friends already have their children (or have chosen not to), so it would be nice to have somebody to chat to.

I usually run too - 3 to 5 times a week - only 5/6km, but I stopped a week before my embryo transfer as I was emphatically told by my consultant to prepare my body for pregnancy and strictly told not to run at all during pregnancy.

Now I walk the dog twice a day along the beach so not running is not so bad. I haven’t looked into ante-natal classes just yet. Like you, it’s on my post Christmas list.

Hello! Not quite in my 40s (38) but due end of June with 1st managed to conceive naturally after a long time (but just before the NHS managed to actually make a referral appointment). I used to exercise a lot (and teach gym classes) but have been really struggling to find the energy these past few weeks and have been purposely toning down intensity as to not cause any issues. I luckily work from home - I don't know how people can hide it from employers face to face - I am constantly having to have a nap / go to the bathroom etc !

Hi, I'm not expecting but wanted to say congratulations! I am 45 and had mine July just gone (he's 4 months, no problems despite my age) having struggled myself it makes me really happy to hear other success stories. If it's not inappropriate sending you a high five! So happy for you, try not to worry, just enjoy it pregnancy is amazing wishing you a smooth journey and happy healthy babies!

39 (40 in March) here and due our 2nd in June after a MMC in May this year. 12 week scan on Wednesday and have had 2 private so far 😍 hope everyone staying well!

Hi all, I'm 44, 19 weeks with first baby, due April. Never thought this would ever happen - had a managed mc when I was about 21. We started process for IVF but were told husband had 'lazy sperm'. Decided not to bother and nothing happened for over 20 years until now! Thrilled and terrified at same time and also worried about being judged as an older mother, but most people haven't batted an eyelid.

@hennie222 I hear you! Needing to pee suddenly is now a regular feature of my life too😅I don't really have other symptoms extcept that my sense of smell is now my new superpower!!
I have recently changed employment - working from home is amazing! I was a secondary teacher - so i'm super thnkful I can organise my schedule more to fit with being pregnant.

@thejadefish thanks for your congratulations and wishes and the hi-5! It's so very encouraging to hear frrom older mums with healthy babies. For 12 years, the medic all banged on about .... well of course, once you're in your 40s etc... the word of doom! And now I;m here with this little miracle happening - still I'm refered to as a high risk pregnancy I'm 44, not 100 and 4! 😂😂It's good both private and public health care are being so on the ball and careful though.
Thank you again!!

@Alexsmum765 Excellent new after such a sad time! I do wish you all the best for your 12 week scan. Getting the private ones have been a god send for my worries - it's good to know others opt for this too. I do not know whether I'll stick with public or private for the birth. I live in Spain and or nearest hospital doesn't have the best reputation for 'Urgencia' - A&E but the maternity side seems ok.

@Shocked44 44 is a good age to conceive 😀😉 thrilled and terrified resonates with me. After 12 years of loss - 11 embryos, it feels surreal that this is happening to us. several of friends who we've told already have been so awesome about the older mum thing, along the lines of, ... 'at 44, you've got your shit together, girl. When I was 30 and had my first, mine was so not together yet!!' 😂It makes me feel relieved that it's happening now, and that it's the right time. Congrats to you for your amazing news!!

@Shocked44 congratulations that's amazing! Took me 3.5 years and that was hard emotionally, I can't imagine how difficult 20 years must have been. So, so glad you get what must feel like a miracle, its obviously meant to be! Can't say that I've felt judged fortunately, in fact when I mentioned my age to my midwife she said that it was normal these days, so hopefully the same for you too, that no-one thinks anything of it.

@Mamalojay the stats are so depressing aren't they, it worried me a lot in early pregnancy I didn't really start to relax until after the 20wk scan but I told myself that if it's meant to be its meant to be. I also told myself that whilst I was in a high risk group because of my age, that was due to general factors of a group and didn't necessarily reflect my personal risk (if you know what I mean). I think I'm a better, calmer parent for being older, and I bet you'll be an amazing mummy!

I was a secondary teacher , for a year which was enough for me! If you've managed to do that for a while you can do a thing. I am sure having a baby will be a breeze 😁

Hi all, just jumping on here as a shocked 41 year old who just found out I’m pregnant (very early days). I have a 19 month old, and had some difficulty conceiving him, with 3 miscarriages along the way. I guess I wasn’t thinking it could just happen like this again without all the ovulation tracking and whatnots, plus still breastfeeding and my cycles are a bit all over.. anyway I’m a little overwhelmed and haven’t even told anyone but at the same time mindful that it could be over any day as well, I do worry about being an older mum and wish it would have happened earlier.. but at the same time I’d like my boy to have a sibling, especially for later in life I guess so he’d always have close family hopefully (might be the hormones making me emotional) :p
what are your main concerns about being a parent over 40?
all the best to everyone!