My mom annoying and worrying me with commenting on my bump size

[Lumosmaximos]

Is my reaction exaggerated?

My mom has commented two times now on the size of my bump - that it looks much bigger than what she would expect at my stage of the pregnancy, this time she even followed it up by asking if I think that everything is OK? I have never questioned my bump size until her comments and since then I have this constant thought in my mind that I am looking fat, that my bump is too big indeed, I keep checking the size in the mirror, googling other people's bumps, questioning myself if I am eating too much. I was really enjoying my pregnancy and it feels like now it has bit bitterness to it. I believe my mom contributed to my problems with my body image and eating problems in the past with comments of similar nature in the past, that I recovered from, and I feel like she is triggering it again!

Should I just ignore it and work on myself and try to understand why it bothers me so much or should I ask her to stop such comments explaining that she causes me worry and anxiety? Later will definitely upset her but I feel like may be this is the right thing to do?

She's being ridiculous. Some people just get bigger bumps! Has your midwife started measuring your bump at appointments yet? If there was an issue she'd pick up on it. And if you're not quite there yet I'd assume they'd have noticed twins at your dating scan!

@toddlerfooddiaries I am 24 week at the moment, I believe the midwife will measure it at 25 weeks appointment, and I know it is 1 baby for sure :)
To be honest I don't even know what my mom thinks the bump should look like - she has been pregnant looooong time ago, in her circle of friends nobody has been pregnant for years for her to be able to compare, so I honestly don't understand why she feels like commenting on it

I know it’s easy to say but try not to worry or let it bother you.

Hopefully, it’s the case that she doesn’t realise that she’s upset you and that her comments are insensitive.

If it makes you feel any better, my Dad said: “well it’s got to be a positive thing that you’ve got a big, fat belly”. This was at 6 weeks!!!!! 😂
I’d had 3 early miscarriages previously so I think he meant well. I just laughed at his lack of knowledge and awareness!

Perhaps your Mum is just worried and hasn’t got the knowledge of things to be looking out for!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you @i83 , your dad's comment made me smile 😃😃 and thank you for your kind words, reading it makes me feel better and less frustrated

I don’t blame you at all for taking it to heart a bit and thinking about it, as we’re naturally very conscious of anything relating to our precious pregnancies and our bodies, that are supporting our future much-loved children.

A lot of the time, people say things that come out the wrong way and they just don’t realise how it comes across. I think most the time, they mean well deep down so try not to let it worry you, if you can help it.

I’m sure you look great! 😃

Try not to worry about it OP, people will make all sorts of stupid comments to you and best to ignore.
My MIL is constantly asking where my bump is and why is it not bigger at 22 weeks, but as a T2 diabetic I have to be very careful with diet during pregnancy and lose weight even with a perfectly healthy happy baby growing just fine.
If there was a problem then your midwife/sonographer etc would let you know.

Some people have big bumps and some small.

In our group of pp mums we joke about one lady who had a 5* hotel in there, sauna, cinema room, walk in dressing room. Whereas I am joked about for having made my poor son live in a cupboard under the stairs. Poor soul didn’t even have enough room to turn.

It’s all lighthearted and we have a good giggle. Ignore her.

When I was 30weeks pregnant with DS2, I had someone say I had the biggest bump they’d ever seen, and another saying I couldn’t possibly be 30 weeks, my bump was far too small…… both on the same day! People just love to make comment on everything when you’re pregnant, and like you say, if she’s not been around anyone pregnant for a while then her judgement will likely be pretty off.

Hey OP,

I’m a community midwife and at least daily have a woman come to me to tell me a family member/friend has told them the bump is too big/small/low/high. Have a chat with your community midwife next week, she can then hopefully reassure you with your fundal height measurement ☺️. I swear everyone becomes an expert when someone they know is pregnant!

Poor you OP I've had this since around 10 weeks, not just from my mum, but my sister (who never comments on image but toward the end said out loud I think you'll go a month early surely), friends, strangers, in-laws. You name it. It's true I've been huge this time. But now at 39 weeks I look just like most 39 week pregnant women. And I still get comments at how far out it is. My midwife said the same that I'm just what she sees on a daily but perhaps people are used to seeing us a certain way and feel the need to comment? (My first I was a tiny pregnancy, no one knew till end of 2nd trimester/beginning of 3rd). I've also been asked about my 'twins' for months. I'd learn to try and ignore her as best as possible and if she actually listens to you then yes speak to her, if you know it'll do nothing then just make a few comebacks and ignore her. I don't normally care about body image but it's annoying as hell so I don't think it's a you problem, it's a her problem.

I had a huge bump, people were always shocked that I was only say 24 weeks when they thought I should be closer to full term and made sure to tell me. I'd had an early miscarriage before him and was already on edge the whole pregnancy.

I had a couple of extra growth scans once the midwife started measuring because at one point I was 4 weeks ahead by my size but everything was absolutely fine, baby was born on his due date 4 weeks ago and he's perfect :)

My bumps have all varied in size. I was biggest with my first and got asked if I was having twins a lot. I was smallest with my biggest baby. Bumps are all different.

Your mum doesn’t know what she’s chatting about. I had the smallest bump in my NCT class but baby was born a healthy weight and is a thriving toddler now. There are huge variances in bump sizes.

When I was at your stage in pregnancy I was still dealing with nausea and eating helped sooth that. Don’t start worrying about what you eat. Do what you need to to stay comfortable.

Erk I really don't know why people do this to pregnant women. If your bump is big you get the 'are you sure it's not twins' comments, if it's small you get things like 'you don't look very pregnant'. Infuriating and unhelpful. Some people have big bumps some people don't, there's a lot of variables that can affect it. Tell her to shush if she does it again.

Mine did the same.

With each pregnancy I was small frame but HUGE bump. Everyone thought I was carrying twins. I got women in queues standing behind me loudly mocking me too. I just ignored them all. I felt occasionally my mum mocked my size too. I'm not the type to dwell on it, just move on. Next.

My mum also did that same thing you describe which didn't help me one bit. Can't say she ever improved too. I just got stronger and better at shielding myself from her negativity and sneering.