Spiralling with stress - caffeine & rare meat

[Nosleepforthismum]

I can feel myself anxiously spiralling with guilt. Nearly 20 weeks with my second child but had a really dreadful couple of weeks with my DS very poorly in hospital and just a lot going on with work and I had a serious exam just before all this happened.

My diet has been crap, I’ve been doing what I can to survive with my DS in hospital which has meant at least 2 cups of coffee and 2 cups of tea a day plus sugary crap and a lot of junk food. My DS was discharged two days ago and is back to looking like his normal, mad self so we were able to attend my dad’s 60th last night and I had rare venison. I just didn’t even think twice, I was so exhausted it didn’t even occur to me that I shouldn’t eat it. Absolutely going overboard with stress now and panic. Also was told at the party that I didn’t even look pregnant - maybe they were being kind but i’m conscious my weight has dropped and I’m so worried that I’ve harmed my new baby with the neglect of my body in recent weeks.

I’m dreading my next scan because I have a fear they will tell me something is wrong with the baby and I will never forgive myself.

Just weighed myself, I weigh 0.1 kg less than I did at 8 weeks. Fuck, is this really bad? I missed my midwife appointment as well due to being in hospital. I feel sick.

I’m sorry you’re having such a terrible time, you poor thing. I’m not a doctor but I’m pretty sure your baby will be fine. I think that in pregnancy, you’re advised to avoid rare meat as it’s more likely to give you food poisoning than well cooked meat - presumably you don’t have food poisoning today so you’re probably fine there.

caffeine - I think a couple of weeks of having sugary caffeiney drinks won’t do any lasting harm.

babies grow and get born in all sorts of challenging circumstances. Some sugary instant coffee and one meal of rare meat is nowhere on that scale.

it sounds like you’re very stressed and worn out. The best thing you can do now is as much as you can to take a breather and get some physical and mental rest. I hope you feel a bit better soon x

Baby will be fine. I went through a horrid time with my first child. Was very depressed and I drunk two lucozades a day to keep me going. I barely ate. My daughter was born and still is healthy. Baby will take everything it needs from you,even if you are feeling rotten. In terms of the raw venison, I agree with pp. it's due to the risk of food poisoning. If you are fine, baby is almost certainly fine. Stop worrying and take care of yourself glad your ds is on the mend

Everything @Backy said. What a difficult time for you with stressful things coming at you from all angles. I'm sure it will be fine, but is there any way you could have a private scan sooner to put your mind at rest and stop you beating yourself up any further? I really hope things ease up for you soon and you get the pregnancy reassurance you need

Sorry that you’re struggling but you have no reason to worry about pregnancy. You’re pretty much around the recommended caffeine levels and the risk with rare meat is food poisoning, so If you’re ok now then you’re ok.

sounds like you need some help with your anxiety and stress though

Your stress levels will be more damaging than caffeine. Seek some help for your anxiety.