unexpected pregnancy with new partner, and i have 2 older children

[coops1989]

hi

so i've been seeing my partner for around 7 months, i love him so much.

2 months into our new relationship i found out i was pregnant with the coil. we together agreed that it was not the time to be having a child together and had an abortion.

now were in the same position again, i've recently found out im pregnant but this time i had the implant (i know its crazy right! my doctors said im hyper fertile).
we sat down and discussed our options where i told him that i dont think i could go through with another abortion, although i know it was the right thing to do it hurts me deeply knowing that i did it.

so this time he told me he doesnt want me to have to go though that again and we've decided to keep the baby.

However, this is where it gets messier.. i have a 14 year old daughter and 12 year old son.

How the hell do i tell them?

what do i do if theyre against it?
when should i tell them? im around 6 weeks at the moment.
how do i tell my family?

i've been done with babies for years and years now, when i told my mum about my abortion she told me i should never have more kids as im past that point now (i'm 32 by the way). so i dont think she will be very supportive...
i'm dreading the moment my ex husband finds out as he can be quite toxic at times, we've had a relatively good relationship for the past few months its like were really good friends again. but i know this will send him over the edge again.

i think im just in panic mode...

any advice please?

Didn't want to read and run. I found out I was pregnant 8 months into a new relationship having left my very toxic ex husband almost 3 years prior when my DS was only 6 months old. We didn't contemplate abortion but were both shocked/nervous at how soon it was. My DS is 4.5yrs and I am currently 23w he has taken the news really well albeit he is young so his understanding won't be the same as your older children. I can't unfortunately offer any advice with the older children but I'm sure they will come to accept it even if they are surprised or even unhappy to start, just trust you are doing the right thing.
As for my ex he dropped out of the picture very quickly after finding out, I only get as much as a hello at pick up/drop off. Maybe it was the reality check that we'd never get back together, if only I'd known it was so easy to get him to back off sooner 😜
Good luck telling your family I'm sure all will be fine.

32 is not past it for having babies or anywhere near! It doesn’t really have anything to do with your ex. I wouldn’t tell your kids anything yet as you’re so early on.

Do you live together? have you discussed practically how it’s going to work?

Congratulations op your older kids maybe very excited to have a new sibling so please try not to worry. As for your mum it’s not her child or her business. If she doesn’t like it point out she isn’t raising this baby you and your partner are.

I'm just so worried about my kids more than anything. in the past i spoke about having another child and they were both really against it so now its actually happening im just super panic about it.
I think with my mum its because its only been in the last year and half that ive started going out and living a bit outside of family life so this is like going backwards again?
and no we dont live together, as it has only bee 7 months it was something we had started discussing before finding out i was pregnant.
but now we have been discussing the logistics of it all and he's up for the idea of moving in with me and my children if thats what i want.

thanks :) considering the shock of it im actually getting to a point im excited about it. the other half is still in the shock part of it.
i really hope they take it well, my son stays with me for the week once every 2 weeks and his dad the other week, i just hope he doesnt decide he wants to move out all together.
my daughter is a typical teenage drama queen and always declares how much she hates babies even though they all love her so im hoping she takes it well.
and as for my mum, i think shes trying to look out for me? as i've only in the past year and half started going out and doing things on my own sort of thing, my kids go do their own thing half the time and we plan things together too but i had my kids really young so never really did the whole "living" thing if that makes sense?

thank you for the reply, and congratulations on your pregnancy :)
i hope my kids take it as well as your little one did lol
i hope my ex does the same to be fair, when i got into this relationship he was vial to me, and even beat up my new partner on a night out. he was telling me how he still wanted me and how i was a whore.. then a week later apologised. i just keep it civil for the kids but hes been really friendly the last few months.. if this makes him go away it wouldnt bother me just cant deal with the drama he creates

Ditto I am 9 months in to a new relationship divorced ex May which was very toxic I am currently 17 weeks and I was told I would never conceive naturally and I am 40 next year he has 2 kids 7 and 11 they are over the moon to be getting a baby sister