My bump is ENORMOUSLY FAT

[BroccoliSpears]

Second pregnancy.

First time around I wasn't exactly a cute little Hollywood starlet with a neat little bronzed bump, but at least it was firm and full of baby.

This time... well, I'm HUGE, and I've got months to go yet. I've started avoiding the question when strangers ask me when I'm due because I'm fed up with them spraying their Starbucks latte at me in shock.
The thing is, when you squish the bump it's mostly fat because I'm being such a lardy hog and eating mountains of buns and delicious things. (I hope it doesn't wobble when I walk). My stomach muscles have totally separated already (the midwife agreed). I'm being a lazy moo and not doing any core clenches or pelvic floor exercises.

I'm just a big fat hoggy lardgut, disguised as heavily pregnant with triplets. Elephant triplets. And I'll probably start smelling of wee soon if I don't start clenching.

absolutely dizzy, it's got to be their fault somehow

i should add that since I explained to my dd that the reason mummy's tummy is so big is because there is a baby growing inside, she has now decided with impeccable 3 year old logic that there must also be a baby inside mummy's bottom otherwise why else would it also be so huge???!!!!!

I'm a beast/whale too and am sick of people telling me they put on hardly any weight with baby 2 as they were so busy. I'm bloody busy but that makes me want cake and so I eat cake and so I'm enormous. People think I'm due soon and I've got another 13 weeks to go -will need one of those firefighters crane lifts to get me to hospital like the one tonne American women

pmsl jood this morning I got told that dd1 and dd2 had wobbly bottoms just like mummies big wobbly tummy - nothing like from the mouth of babes eh?!?

ooh thank you I've only had a blueberry muffin and a twix already today!!!