Birth/Labour Stories, Tips and Advice

[Sierra1961]

Hello all,

I’m due to give birth next month and I have been trying to prepare for what it will entail. Although I have a good idea in general, I’d really like to hear (preferably detailed) accounts of birth experiences. I haven’t found a description yet that seems to really encapsulate what the pain is actually like, and I’d like to go into it as prepared as possible. I think it’ll help me if I have a good idea of what to expect!

So thank you in advance to all who reply, I would love to hear what giving birth was like for you, how it went, etc. I’m considering an epidural, so if you have experienced giving birth with and also without, I’d love to hear the differences; did you feel it was a more positive experience with, or without, for example.

First time births are so unpredictable. You can do lots of prep but ultimately your body and baby will do exactly what they want and with the best will in the world, you need to go in to this with a super open mind to all the options. I say this as someone who did all the hypnobirthing classes and had a very set mindset about how I wanted my birth to go, in reality I had no control whatsoever so all the prep I did was pretty pointless. I will say reading and hearing lots of horror stories is no good for you. You don’t want to go into this fearful, those kind of thoughts won’t put you in a good frame of mind. I went into my second birth with zero expectations and an open mind to everything, I ended up having an incredible fast birth and coped on just gas and air, which was the polar opposite of my first experience. I’m not going to detail that because I don’t think horror stories are useful for anyone. Good luck to you; having a baby is the most amazing experience. I felt like such a badass after giving birth.

Just had my first baby and am also a midwife. Was offered an epidural to help manage my raging blood pressure (had pre eclampsia). Declined to see how things went. From having my waters broken (was already 3cms, fully effaced and his head was super low) to him being born was 4hrs and 59 minutes and it was INTENSE. I don't think my labour was typical of a first time labour because everything was sped up due to my really high blood pressure. I started off with gas and air and was in the pool for a short period of time (I had telemetry CTG monitoring so I could get in the pool) and they asked me to exit the pool as at one point they couldn't hear baby's heart rate. From there I went into transition and completely lost my shit. The contractions were coming too quickly (about 7:10 mins) to get on top of them and it was too late for an epidural so I just screamed for 2 hours. The pain was like a vice in my tummy but it wasn't sharp it was a weird, pressure, build up sensation which, had I only been having the usual 3-4:10 mins I definitely would've continued to cope with them. They were just coming way too quickly. Next time, if no pre eclampsia and contractions not so rapid I'd manage again on gas and air and the pool I think. But 100% if you want the epidural blinkin well have it. The only time we recommend you don't is if you're literally thrashing around the bed (I was so it wasn't safe) or if you have started pushing, as by then it will have no effect and we often find that if we try and sit you in position to site the epidural, most mums end up shouting at me that the baby's coming and lo and behold there's baby's head 😂

Oh, and time absolutely bends itself. I spent ages meticulously collating a Spotify playlist, couldn't hear it, couldn't concentrate on anything apart from where the gas and air mouthpiece was, and my husband popped out for 10 minutes and it felt like forever. My mum had to keep promising me that he was only gone for 10 minutes 😂 I remember I got to 9cms and then all of a sudden my little baby boy was on my chest but in reality it was about 2.5hrs later!

If honesty is what you what, honesty is what you’ll get from me! I had my DD 7 weeks ago so it’s still fairly fresh for me.

I’m not sure when my labour actually started, I believe I was in ‘slow labour’ for about 3 days before I went into hospital. Contractions coming on at night, but not in a pattern and disappearing by the morning, it was exhausting.
On the Saturday night I called triage at 3am to ask for stronger pain killers so I can at least try and sleep, once they they offered a sweep & to check my dilation in which I was 1-2cm. I can only describe these contractions as strong period pains.

The sweep worked and my contractions started getting stronger and closer together. These were more painful, but managed fairly easily with breathing. I went back to triage at 10am Sunday morning and was 4cm so was admitted to the labour ward. I carried on this way, only taking codeine and ibuprofen until 6pm when I decided to let them break my waters.

oh dear lord. The pain in my opinion was like nothing I had ever experienced, it was excruciating. My contractions were continuous and 20 x more powerful. All I really remember at this point was requesting an epidural, and honestly thinking there was no way I could give birth, my body could not handle it.
next thing I knew the dr was putting the needle in my spine and it was 8.30pm. The 2 1/2 hours were an absolute blur. My midwife had swapped over in this time and I hadn’t noticed, I didn’t open my eyes the entire time because I felt paralysed with the pain.

the epidural worked on one side but I still had pains down my left side. The Dr came back and re-angled the needle and it worked instantly. It was hands down the best decision I made in my labour journey. I spent from 8.30pm - 12pm watching Netflix on my iPad, and even had a nap ready for the pushing stage. I was checked at 12, and was 9cm. Checked again at 1am and started the pushing stage.
whilst painless, it was tiring and hard work. They say it takes first time mums 1-2 hours to push but I gave it everything I had as I just wanted my labour to be over and meet my DD. I managed to push her out within 19 mins. The more you put in the quicker it happens essentially, so really give it your all!

After she arrived, she was placed on my chest whilst the nurses began stitching my 2nd degree tear. I could hear the nurses saying my bleeding wouldn’t stop which completely distracted me from that first moment with my DD as I thought I was bleeding out by their expressions (couldn’t see over my belly, could only see multiple rags being pulled up covered in blood) - eventually a male Dr came in and shoved his hand up me into my uterus and began pulling out massive chunks of tissue. Again, thank god for the epidural because I can’t imagine the pain that would cause after just giving birth. That seemed to do it and the bleeding stopped.

I was then able to have some time with my daughter and partner before HCA’s came in, swapped my bed to a ward bed ready to go to post natal ward and got my washed up and changed.

I always expected labour to be fairly horrific but if I had decided to have the epidural before having my waters broken, I would have actually enjoyed the experience. Overall I would still say it wasn’t a traumatic labour, as I managed up until 6pm well with just breathing and tablets. And certainly enjoyed it after the Epidural kicked in.

It was after labour when I got home that I was truely surprised and unprepared for. You still have painful contractions after birth for a good few days as your uterus shrinks. As for sitting down? Impossible to get comfy. Towards the end I realised the semi circle pillows used for nursing doubled up as my pillow so I could sit on the sofa/in the car without my vagina touching the seat which was a million times for comfortable.
they don’t give you painkillers to go home, so stock up on cocodamol from boots as you will need it every 4 hours like clockwork.

I remember crying to my partner saying when will it end, thinking I would never heal and never feel myself. But around 3 1/2 weeks I felt fine. Some are better much faster, some take a bit longer but you will get there.

overall top tips - epidurals are a gift from god, why struggle through the pain when you can have a pain free experience? My daughter arrived the same way someone as who refused painkillers but I had no pain so win for me.

• semi circle pillow to sit on afterwards.
• Your vagina will smell like it’s rotting after labour, apparently it’s normal but it was horrific in my eyes.
• You will need sooo many maternity pads.
• cocodamol & ibuprofen on tap.

I will sum it up by saying (and believe me I’m not the emotional type so this is genuine) having your little one in your arms is the best distraction. And I would do it all again if I meant my DD was here.

good luck, don’t panic because whatever will be will be, and there are options out there to help you through it xx

My best advice would be go into the hospital whenever YOU feel ready. Ignore what they tell you on the phone... My daughter wouldn't be alive if I had listened to the MAU on the phone who insisted I stayed at home (despite clearing being in late stage labour, vomiting, 1 min long contractions 2 mins apart. I called them 3 times and they told me to stay at home each time. Eventually - after much persuasion from my mother because I felt like the ones on the phone were the professionals and I should listen to them - I went in while trying not to push in the car (hopsital was an hour drive away too!) and gave birth in 10 minutes of getting there. My daughter had the chord around her neck and was born in her own poo, so honestly I'm just so fortunate things turned out the way they did... Makes me furious thinking about it.

In regards to the actual pain, it wasn't as bad as I expected actually. I kept thinking it was going to get worse, it feels like really really bad period pains. And it made me vomit about 3 times for some reason too. I remember vividly from the pushing stage that the babies head coming out feels exactly like when you've ate really spicy food, and you're doing a number 2 - that sore, burning sensation 😳 I agree with what another poster said about really putting your energy into the pushing. I can't remember exactly but one midwife said to me while I was pushing to visualize what it's like pushing a car with all your strength uphill. Maybe that wasnt exactly it lol but it helped so much thinking about it like that at the time!

I'm expecting my second in early January and I'm so curious about how this labour will go compared to my first.

No 2 births are the same but be aware first labours can be long and hard (but that's not to say it always is) my first was 16 hours, forceps, episiotomy. Quite traumatic to me at the time but I soon realised from speaking to many mums this is not all that unusual! Second was less than an hour start the finish, super quick and VERY painful. The one thing I can guarantee is that the prize you get at the end is just fabulous and makes it all worth it! Also don't panic if you don't feel a rush of love or feel a bit tearful in the weeks following) good luck! Xx

You might get to a point during labour where you think you can't do it anymore. This could mean you're really close to the end so is actually a good sign. I remember thinking I physically could not go on and he came out soon after.

When he came out I remember thinking it felt like a jellyfish had just flopped out of me 😂

My partner still goes on about how big and gross the placenta was, I don't know what he was expecting!

Tbh giving birth is like doing a giant constipated poo while on a very painful period.

I had my first (and last) baby a year ago & the labour & birth was nothing like I expected. I had it all planned in my head with hypnobirthing & being in the water, but I got absolutely sick of the woman's voice on the hypnobirthing & couldn't get comfy in the pool.

I was in labour for 22 hours & while I wouldn't say contractions are the most painful thing I've ever experienced (I've had worse toothache) they were absolutely relentless & exhausting. I hadn't slept properly for 3 days beforehand & after 12 hours of almost continuous contractions I requested an epidural. I hadn't planned to have one at all but I'm so glad I did. The rest of my labour & the birth itself were so calm.

So my advice is to not have any expectations of how it will be & get plenty of rest beforehand. Good luck!

I was unfortunate in my labour, in that the maternity hospital was absolutely rammed when I went into labour and they couldn't fit me on the ward. My waters went at home at 10.30p
and I called the hospital and they said to go in as waters had gone but no contractions. Contractions started as I got to hospital.

The downside to the labour ward being full was that I was put on to a monitoring ward where women had been admitted for reduced movements etc., so I was mindful of making as little noise as possible as I didn't want to wake them. The second downside was that they were not permitted to give me any painkillers outside of the labour ward, so all they could give me was paracetamol. I was in agony. I think I had been naive in that I thought the painful bit would be the actual pushing, but it wasn't. The contractions were like nothing I have ever experienced and took over my entire body. It was so uncomfortable. I was begging for pain relief. They checked me at 7.30am and said I was 4cm. By 8.30am, I was bearing down, pushing. I asked my partner to get a midwife and they were a bit patronising about me and said they only checked me an hour ago, I was a first time mum so didn't know what I was feeling and baby was still a good 4-5 hours away. Eventually, I walked out to reception and stood facing the midwife pushing down and said I need somebody to check me. Sure enough, I was 10cm dilated and they said they had to take me down to delivery. I asked then for pain relief and they said it was too late.

Except the patronising comment, everything was out of their control and just down to sheer volume of births that day.

I'm glad I went there with no birth plan and no expectations because I just went along with what they were able to do for me, without worrying I was going off plan etc.

Isotonic drinks are your friend. Wish I knew that with elder DCs.

If you plan on a natural birth, I highly recommend Spritz for Bitz by My Expert Midwife. It was such a relief on the war wounds. I sprayed my pad liberally until it was pretty soaked and it was really soothing.

You will be fine. Literally half an hour after having my DC1 I said to my DH that I would do it again in a heartbeat (I did 19 months later!)
Both labours were very long 34 hours with DC1 and 42 hours with DC2 both without any pain relief or sutures. The pain is what you would expect but it is ok. My DC1 was born back to back and the pain was all in my bum. DC2 normal birth and pain felt like very bad period pains. With both DC I got to the hospital at 10cm’s and ready to push as the hospital and community midwife didn’t believe I was in labour when I phoned them - so my advice would be to trust when you know it is time to go to hospital and don’t let them fob you off.
With both of mine I did perineal massage during late pregnancy and I swear it helped to not tear (just had minor grazing)
That first cup of tea and slice of toast they give you after the birth is the best meal ever.
If you are planning to breastfeed do a bit of research beforehand as I found it very tricky with my first.
With my first I had over 100 visitors during the first two weeks - all who expected to be fed and looked after! It was exhausting and completely messed up the routine we all craved - maybe limit visitors during the first few days.
Lastly enjoy those first precious days - they really do go so quickly! Congratulations and make sure you look after yourself

This!!! Well written and true 👍
As this poster says, think how you'll feel after you've done it, very proud!

Thank you so much to everyone for sharing your stories and advice, I really appreciate it! And thank you for all the well wishes sent my way ❤️